I Can't Cope!

[Nicholas]

Redphone:
You mentioned about the CBT etc, which I have already tried with no success. I would not reject another offer of going again if that is what my GP wanted, but she is aware of my experience with the mental health service and that it did not help me. That is not a bad word against the mental health service because they did and do try their best to help people. But sometimes it just doesn't help even when you take the sessions very seriously.

Unfortunately CBT must be done well and the therapists must be very skilled and caring... and most of the work is up to you, you are the one who has to change the way you think... otherwise it can't work.
That's why I don't want to go to any therapists, I know they won't really be able to help me. I need to change the way I think, but it takes time and it's hard.
It is clear CBT has not worked for you, Ihateit, because otherwise you wouldn't be so pessimistic anymore. If CBT had worked, you should have been thinking more like "Ok, if I can't stand this job, I'll quit it, it's not a problem. I'll find one I like!" or "Blushing is bad because I am afraid people will judge me, but I don't care much anymore, because it's the people who DON'T judge me and that care about me anyway that are the people who matter! To hell with the other insensitive ones!" or "I am miserable right now and I don't like my life, but I'm going to make it better, and I believe I'll soon be happy because everything can change!". Do you seriously believe it's IMPOSSIBLE for you to be happy, even if you really wanted it and tried to make major changes in your life?

I still believe I can be happy, even though I definitely need a real miracle... but I have seen miracles happen, so I still want to try, and I still want to hope. Hope you'll do the same.

Take care.

 

[mmmm]

Why not apply for a crappy admin job in the police force? You'll be just as miserable and uncomfortable as you are now but at least you will have a foot in the door.

 

[Nicholas]

BTW those people who you might think are judging you can be categorised into three groups:

- the mean ignorant stupid kid who thinks they have found a weakness of yours. They know they can get to you


.....


And regarding a blushing/sweating (men/women) and romance. I can only see two main groups
The biggest group A) thinks its cute, the other big group B) simply won't care or doesn't notices it

Hi redphone, I am sorry but I really have to disagree with what you said, because the real problem is much worse. You are a new member like me, but can I ask you if you have SA or depression or blushing/hyperhidrosis yourself? My guess is that you don't. If not, are you a kind of counselor or someone who is trying to understand all these problems better? I am not criticizing, quite the opposite! I am just curious, and I appreciate the fact you always post advice.

Anyway, the problem is this:
First, from you post, it seems only stupid mean kids want to hurt you. That's not true. A lot of people can be mean for no reason and hurt you. It can be a classmate, someone in a store, a friend or even your parents, and the closest (you think) they are, the more it hurts. Of course most of the time it is not something as direct as "You suck, you are a monster and I wish you would die", but something subtle, like avoiding you, glancing at someone else and giggling, or saying insensitive things like "It's no big deal, cheer up, etc." just as a way to neglect your problems, go on with their lives, and leave you alone. So it's not as easy as "just some kids are mean, forget them".

The other problem is that "the biggest group thinks it's cute". That is probably true for "normal blushing", in girls. But that is not true when blushing is an anxiety problem/phobia, which is the problem people here have, which means it's out of control. You can blush for apparently no reason, anywhere. What's cute about a guy blushing when a male waiter at a restaurant asks you if you want another bottle of water? It can only be weird and embarrassing.
I don't really blush, but I have a related problem with hyperhidrosis, and since you mentioned that too in the same sentence, I just can't understand how someone with severe excessive facial sweating, or armpit/palmar sweating can even be seen as cute for one single second. It is a curse, it gives me depression.

That's all.

 

[Nicholas]

Ok, I see. All you said makes a lot of sense, and it's good advice... the best advice, in fact. That's what everyone who wants to get well should do, and that's what CBT teaches you to do too. So, let's say I already know that, but it's difficult to put it into practice. You seem to be almost out of these damn problems though.

That's what we should do: not care what others think of us. Well, if it was so easy, I wouldn't have any problems and I wouldn't be in this forum, I guess, LOL.

I will tell you what: once you forget all the people who hurt you and those you shouldn't care about, it might well be that you are left alone. So your advice would turn into "forget the assholes and get new real good friends". If we all had a bunch of great friends, would we still find it so difficult to get out of SA or depression? But where can we find great friends, if we are kind of old (mid twenties or older) and have SA and all the other related issues?

That's what worries me the most. It's not easy at all to find new great friends in real life. But I know I will need to. I'll think about it.

 

[FOR REAL]

i dont know about the work thing but as for waiting weeks/months to see a "specialist" dont put up with it.
tell your GP you need an urgent appointment, they can write a letter to whoever.

if your GP refuses to help, insist on it!
remember in the uk they work for us! (i dont know about other countries)

if still no joy, change your GP, you are entitled to see any GP you want to

 

[dottie]

wow i totally relate with what you are experiencing. at this point i'm unemployed. i could be trying harder to get a job but i LOATHE the workplace. nothing brings me more psychological distress, anxiety, and depression than work.

 

[Ihateit]

This is my day today: (beware contains womens problems)

For the past few days I have been experiencing bleeding and heavy pain. And as I only had my last period last week I have been slightly concerned. It was not until today when I experience some heavy bleeding that I decided to contact my GP. I left a message with the Receptionist explaining the problem and asking if she could get a female doctor to give me a call back. Anyways, I went to work as normal and got a call from the GP. She thought I was calling about the results from the blood tests I had on Tuesday but I told her it was a different problem that I was ringing up about. Anyways I asked about the blood test results before I explained about my bleeding/pain. Something shows up in the bloods that they were testing for hormone levels (or something to do with hormones) and there was a problem with that. So obviously I felt quite anxious about that, but I went on to explain about my other problem, she said I needed to come in straightaway. It was impossible to leave right there and then so I said I could be down for about 5pm. So that was arranged. Anyways I have just got back from the GP and I feeling terrible. I have to go for a scan to see whats wrong and the GP is slightly concerned about it. So anyways I have to go hospital tomorrow to hand in the form, then a doctor needs to see how urgent it is before I can have the scan. (I don't really understand that system but anyways I will go when I am told). The GP mentioned about my ovaries and that there could be a problem there. The amount of times she asked if I was preganant or sexually active or have ever been sexually active, it did become quite annoying, but I guess she has to re-double check these things.

So anyways I have to be worried all weekend about this, I don't think I will get an appointment for tomorrow. To make matters worse I don't know if this is the reason why I have this blushing problem. I mean all the bloods that were taken were for anything linked to what could be causing the blushing so I just dont know. I was too concerned about my bleeding and pain to even ask about if it could be linked to the blushing. It was not even the GP I saw the other day who is the only GP that understands and knows everything about my case so she wouldn't of even known to mention it.

I am really hoping that the blood test problems is to do with my blushing, that way at least I know there is a problem there. I don't think I could handle another problem on top of the blushing.

 

[desoconnor]

There are numerous medical conditions that can cause redness, rather than blushing, so it may be a physical problem. Did your GP say what the blood tests ahd shown?

Its good that your GP is dealing with the bleeding so quickly, a friend of mine has been waiting months for her GP to finish tests. So hopefully the hospital will be as quick.

Has your GP mentioned anything like PCOS? Some of the symptoms can include redness and also vaginal bleeding... often an ultrasound is used in diagnosis. I'm not saying it is, but its something to ask about.

Don't give up hope, you have a good GP who is willing to listen and help, and isn't dismissive
You also have people here who are willing to listen and provide support.

I hope it goes well at the hospital today, and you'll be back later to tell us how it went

 

[Ihateit]

The only thing that the GP said about the blood tests was that there was something shown in the hormone blood samples. The blushing problem did not even get mentioned yesterday it was only about my bleeding/pain.

GP wrote PCOS and something else beginning with E on the scan form which I took to the hospital this morning. They have fit me in for the scan on Monday.

I just hope my work place will be understanding about the fact this will be the 3rd time I have to adjust my working times to be able to fit in the appointments. I am getting quite anxious about what they will think/say.

 

[desoconnor]

Your manager sounds pretty understanding, so I think she will be ok...

It sounds like you have taken a step towards finding out what is wrong, which is a positive, and the hospital are taking it seriously and pushing through the scan.

 

[Ihateit]

I am really freaking out now. I have been reading loads of what could be the cause of bleeding/pain and all about PCOS. If I have PCOS then it could be imposisble for me to have children. I have read that some people have conceived whilst they have been diagnoised with this and for some people it took them 10years to try for a baby. I would be devastated if I got diagnosed with this.

I have also been reading up and sometimes it mentions things like cancer/tumours. I am so scared, what if it ends up being something terrible.

I keep having these little panic attacks where I find it difficult to breathe cause I keep thinking about what they are going to say at the scan tomorrow. I am so scared.

 

[Acme]

Hi Ihateit. Haven't heard from you in a while. Hope you are ok.

 

[Ihateit]

^^ Hey, thanks. I have had a few bad weeks which is why I have not been posting on here. Just been feeling really ill.

I got the all clear from the PCOS scan that I had done so at least the rules out that problem. In the meantime I am just waiting on a second lot of blood tests that I had done before the Doctor refers me to a endocrinologist specialist. Things seem to be moving along, it is just the fact that it does move along really slowly. I am also being referred to a pyschologist which will help with the anixety side of things which I guess is a good thing.

I should have some more answers from the GP by the end of the week. So I guess another few days of feeling the way I do at the moment before the test results come in.

 

[mmmm]

Cool. At least they're taking you seriously. Good luck with everything

 

[Gruntle]

Ihateit, I stumbled across this post last night.
I am wondering how you are doing now? As it seems to just end.
I sincerely hope you are ok.
I have been suffering from anxiety and depression since I was around five, coupled with severe blushing and terrible anxiety sweating. I dont know if I developed ocd as a result or if it was always there as I have no memories since around the same time.
I have never been able to hold down a job, and have been unemployed since my divorce (around seven yrs), as this led to a breakdown of sorts.
I wanted to say that I applaud your efforts at continuing to work and to seek alternative jobs, as I am unable to do so. I feel for you on so many levels.
Can you please post and let us know how you are doing.

 

[LockieKermit]

This may sound ignorant but why cant you just go? I dont have SA but seriously? what is the benifit of being alone, its not getting you anywhere, its not helping your condition improve.

Its terribly hard to face anxiety, but go go go, the sky is the limit.

 

[LockieKermit]

****ing wrong post oops