Sorry its a bit long but please read, I really need some advice.
Just moved to university, been here for a week and I am so lonely. No friends, no family no one to even just say hi to. I have not said more than 20 words since been here.. I hate my course, I picked such a social course where its team work, you have to be friends with everyone and blah and I am so unhappy. I can’t quit my parents are so proud that I got into uni but I HATE IT. I got so sick of not speaking that one night I had a whole bottle of vodka and lost it and was shouting at everyone and crying god it was embarrassing. Still that didn't help the next morning I was me again. I felt like I was myself even though I was an emotional wreck, I have to admit I have been drinking quite a lot, not vodka though too nervous about going to buy some on my own, its not working tho but makes me feel better. I am scared I will or am becoming alcohol dependent
I live with 12 girls and they get so well, I am just that freaky girl who never lives her room. I went out with them the first few days for fresher’s but just stood around nervous, alcohol didn't help much with speaking it made me a tiny bit more comfortable that's why I drank too much vodka because I thought alcohol had no effect on me. I am so miserable right now. I have stopped eating, I have not eaten much for days I just can’t get anything down and also I am out of food anyway tried to go to the supermarket on my own and got lost in a dark street and was terrified so yeah I have no food. I have been crying pretty much every day. I thought I was getting better but I have gone right back down I am panicky again, I am getting very hot and sweaty when anyone speaks to me. I have started shaking again, I have started throwing up when having to talk in large groups, I am having more suicidal thoughts. I really don't know what to do? :crying: before it was okay because I knew I was living where I was and getting another chance at uni but now I just don't see any hope I am so depressed and sad I never live my room. I don't even know how to make any friends I don't even know how to have a conversation :sad: Any advice? I am scared I am going to do something stupid. I just want to go home where at least I had my family to talk to.
Everyone hated me before they even knew much about me. People just never come up to me or try and say hi. What is so wrong with me? Why can’t I just be normal I am not looking for a million friends, one will be nice or someone to just ask how I am sometimes.
Just moved to university, been here for a week and I am so lonely. No friends, no family no one to even just say hi to. I have not said more than 20 words since been here.. I hate my course, I picked such a social course where its team work, you have to be friends with everyone and blah and I am so unhappy. I can’t quit my parents are so proud that I got into uni but I HATE IT. I got so sick of not speaking that one night I had a whole bottle of vodka and lost it and was shouting at everyone and crying god it was embarrassing. Still that didn't help the next morning I was me again. I felt like I was myself even though I was an emotional wreck, I have to admit I have been drinking quite a lot, not vodka though too nervous about going to buy some on my own, its not working tho but makes me feel better. I am scared I will or am becoming alcohol dependent
I live with 12 girls and they get so well, I am just that freaky girl who never lives her room. I went out with them the first few days for fresher’s but just stood around nervous, alcohol didn't help much with speaking it made me a tiny bit more comfortable that's why I drank too much vodka because I thought alcohol had no effect on me. I am so miserable right now. I have stopped eating, I have not eaten much for days I just can’t get anything down and also I am out of food anyway tried to go to the supermarket on my own and got lost in a dark street and was terrified so yeah I have no food. I have been crying pretty much every day. I thought I was getting better but I have gone right back down I am panicky again, I am getting very hot and sweaty when anyone speaks to me. I have started shaking again, I have started throwing up when having to talk in large groups, I am having more suicidal thoughts. I really don't know what to do? :crying: before it was okay because I knew I was living where I was and getting another chance at uni but now I just don't see any hope I am so depressed and sad I never live my room. I don't even know how to make any friends I don't even know how to have a conversation :sad: Any advice? I am scared I am going to do something stupid. I just want to go home where at least I had my family to talk to.
Everyone hated me before they even knew much about me. People just never come up to me or try and say hi. What is so wrong with me? Why can’t I just be normal I am not looking for a million friends, one will be nice or someone to just ask how I am sometimes.