How to deal with university life

#1
I'm back to school and it has been pretty horrible. I don't like the classmates and dont feel connected at all. On the other hand, they seem to form their groups based on their nationality or religion, and during class, some people only like to sit besides their favorite classmate(s). I don't know how am I gonna survive this program, not only because the curriculum is tough, but also because of the negative feeling I have.
 

Lionhearted

Well-known member
#3
I've just started college, and I got infected with an illness right after the first week. I got worried after I heard from my doctor that I'd need to stay at home for about four to five days straight. I knew the consequences, and I knew I was very slow in socialization.

But my fears got confirmed, to tell the truth - the few people I met with, have already befriended others, and even worse, they seem to have forgotten me. And well, I tried to talk with other classmates, but it's a real chore to just mix in. I don't even get their jokes(I feign laughter, tbh) and I think I'm just sitting with some others for the sake of not being abandoned completely - it's just so much difficult to actually find someone who is introverted.

I'm sure I could just walk up back to the earlier people's bench, but then again, I would feel really embarrassed and self conscious - maybe just give me a week or two, to see if they will come back??

I'm glad that I've moved away from becoming the sole person sitting in the front-area of the class, though. The flashbacks are terrible - I felt like the distance between me and the rest of the classroom, was increasing every second. And I can't think properly when others are chattering loudly.

The problem is, I'm actually determined to fight this out - I may not like the socialization, and all the social parts of college, but I personally believe I'm at least good in working by myself - in studies. Maybe you just have to accept that being introverted isn't much of a bad thing.

Besides, I feel really encouraged after reading through the posts of forums like these. Whenever I feel doubtful, I just remember that there are others like me, and well, that feeling makes the whole situation look brighter.
 
#4
I also had a lot of trouble in school, and dropped out of 2 programs before I managed to go through the third one because I was very determined to succeed, so here's my experience of it. First, the only way to go through it is to do what you have to do even if it's terrifying. Go to your classes, do your homeworks and oral presentations, and try to make eye contact with the other people in the class when the teacher mention that you have to work in team.

As you mentioned, people gang up and you might feel left out if you are not part of it. What I noticed though, is that there is always a certain number of loners like you in the class, who just want to go through the classes, get their diploma and get the f*** out of there. I don't know if it's the case in your university. In my classes, they were usually easy to spot if you paid attention: They don't talk to the people in the "cool" group, they look more calm, usually more mature as well, and sometimes they are in fact older than the others because they went to work or to travel before going back to school or something. These people are looking for people like you: They want a reliable, serious partner to study and do the team projects. You only find 1 or 2 of them and you are set.

For the breaks between the classes, I had my places where I went away from the crowd, either in a park, the library etc., and in fact after a while I simply moved in a 1 bedroom apartment near the university.
 

DeadmanWalking

Well-known member
#5
Well, if it's too hard, you may either want to talk to the teacher and get help in studying or talk to a counselor and see if this is the right path for you.

Aside from that, college is where you go to truly find out about yourself, to challenge yourself in every way. You don't have to go out to every single party that you hear of or anything of the sort (I didn't go to any parties, really), but it might do you some good to test the waters out and try new things. Maybe try talking to new people; you'll be doing group projects sooner or later, so having a line of communication will help a lot. I'm sure moat of the people there are nervous like you are about talking to new people.
 

Hot_Tamale

Well-known member
#7
I excelled academically, worked very hard at study. Socially uni was a disaster.
Me too, mostly A's and B's on every exam and assignment in my field. I was mostly seen and not heard, I never raised my hand in class...no wonder I'm still single but I venture to say relationships with the opposite sex would have only served to slow me down academically, maybe basic friendships with other men too.
 
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Kiwong

Well-known member
#8
That really good results Hot Tamale. I studied to hard to escape a job I disliked. The social opportunities I hoped for at uni really didn't eventuate, there was aclotbof partying and getting drunk by people a few years younger than me. I studied mature age.
 
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