How do you deal with Bullies that have better lifes than you do at your expense

lifesnotfair

Well-known member
#1
All the bullies that i have had the misfortune of dealing with have seem to have better lives. They have a family, job, and seem to have it altogether. Granted that might be a show. But these are the same people who got the girls, grades, and all the scholarships. How can you deal with seeing those people who have seem to just easily grasp those concepts, and those who have to put up with their behaviors have to suffer and deal with the problems ongoing to today as a result of the mental scars they create. How is that fair?
 

lily

Well-known member
#2
i believe they will get their punishment or probably have already. You said the word 'seem'. if they're not kind, it will show and they won't get the same in return, do you want that?
 

LoyalXenite

Well-known member
#3
I like to believe in some sort of comeuppance getting them, a karma type of thing. But more often than not it doesnt happen that way, theres no cosmic balance that's going to come in and lay out some justice or fairness. So I just tend to hope they're actually super insecure and miserable inside and struggle to cope with the stress and pressures of their successful lives :unsure::LOL:.
 

lifesnotfair

Well-known member
#5
i believe they will get their punishment or probably have already. You said the word 'seem'. if they're not kind, it will show and they won't get the same in return, do you want that?
No, I just want to know how people would handle that situation.
 

lily

Well-known member
#6
i would handle it as just that, that i believe they will get their punishment and that's the end of it as far as I'd go.
 

theoutsider

Well-known member
#8
You'd be surprised at how many people who appear to have it all, who are actually dealing with inner turmoil. Sometimes what they are dealing with is worse than our anxiety, depression, or OCD if you can believe it. I'm old enough to have known people who I thought were on top of the world who ended up crumbling and self destructing over something they'd kept well hidden right up until the end. Many so-called bullies are victims of some sort of abuse, themselves and are either using some type of drug (or alcohol) to hold it all together or are empty inside. Even nice material things, an attractive spouse or a seemingly successful career can't save them from themselves.

I've never had bullies do well at my expense, in fact I can't remember dealing with bullies outside of childhood. On the rare occasion when I do encounter an adult attempting to be a bully, I dismiss them for the immature, insecure people that they are. Whenever I see someone who doesn't have the best character seeming to do much better than they deserve, I let it go, figuring it's not my business if they crash and burn or if they continue on and actually are successful. I find that I'm much more at peace when I stay focused on my own life and trying to make it as positive as I can.
 
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#10
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Kiwong

Well-known member
#11
I wouldn't say they had better lives, many dropped out in high school. I went on to get a university education, and work in the environment and threatened species field, which I have a passion for. I have heard some are plumbers, accountants, insurance clerks. Some of the more psychopathic ones are probably in jail.
 

lifesnotfair

Well-known member
#13
Sorry you feel that life is quite cruel, sometimes I feel like that too, that it's not very fair/nice when I look around or live it but we still have to look into the positive.
Lost that belief a long time ago. Being positive for me is a character flaw for me. Whenever I am positive and happy it puts me into denial about how life really is. When people say to look positive towards life and good things will come to people who have good attitudes, really haven't been shat on for years, used and thrown away, betrayed and made a fool of. I have over 20 years of all BAD experiences to my name. Why should one think positive and happy thoughts when you expect life to crap over you at every opportunity.
 
#15
few of my bullies had been in jail for a different charge, but others have a perfect life, they have a girlfriend/wife/kids and one of them is now a medic, I can't deal it because there's nothing that I can do, they won
 
#16
few of my bullies had been in jail for a different charge, but others have a perfect life, they have a girlfriend/wife/kids and one of them is now a medic, I can't deal it because there's nothing that I can do, they won
I think it's a bad idea to think of it as them beating you simply because they appear to have perfect lives. For starters, there's no such thing as a perfect life. Also, they can't beat you unless you allow them to. In other words, their lives and how well they (appear) to live it should have nothing to do with your own. I've noticed that bullies you meet early in life tend to mature over time and are no longer the same person as adults. They may have done things along the way to atone for the wrong things they have done in the past. Or they may be dealing with things you know nothing about. A good way to handle any injustices you feel have been handed to you is to see each little success in your life as a victory over what some have tried to do to you (as in keeping you from having a good life). It's just my opinion but I think it's better to focus on your own successes rather than on theirs. What they do is out of your control but you can control what/how you do.
 
#17
few of my bullies had been in jail for a different charge, but others have a perfect life, they have a girlfriend/wife/kids and one of them is now a medic, I can't deal it because there's nothing that I can do, they won
I'm just going to say this straight. I mean no offence. But it's not a game of 'who won' when concerning life's bullies. It's not a contest between you and them.
I can tell you how to beat them regardless though.. works 100% of the time.
 
#19
Way too late to change my mind, been dealing with this for 20 years without any significant help or progress, Another 30 years isn't going to make a difference. Damage has been done for me. I don't trust, I've become very paranoid, lack of self esteem and confidence. A good analogy is that you have a garden that is full of healthy plants, then someone comes over and lays down every pesticide, herbicide, and salt, while rototillling the hell out of the garden. Making the land barren so nothing grows on it again. That's me...
 
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