Hellhound
Super Moderator
I've never heard of anyone having so many guests, but my assumption is that they might have big families, friends of both families, friends of friends and so on.
I'm really not sure.
How do people make big groups of friends?
- Thread starter WishingICould
- Start date
I've never heard of anyone having so many guests, but my assumption is that they might have big families, friends of both families, friends of friends and so on.
I'm really not sure.
WishingICould
Well-known member
Kind of hard when you have crippling anxiety...
Hellhound
Super Moderator
I'd gladly meet any of you if we all lived closer :sad:
Lorraine Manca
Well-known member
i feel the same way, i don't know the solution though! maybe just identify a group and tag along? that would be easier than constructing one from scratch
coyote
Well-known member
i'm not the best at making friends - it's taken me a long time to learn, and i'm still unsure of myself
but from what i've seen - most people WANT to make friends with you - so all you have to do is make yourself available to them.
if you put yourself out there, with genuine sincerity, you will attract people who want to get to know you
then all you have to do is allow that to happen, show interest in them, and keep showing up at regular intervals in their lives (frequenting the same locales, etc.). at some point you may even suggest meeting up in different places and times other than what you are used to encountering that person in - that's how relationships are established
try not to define it, make any certain demands, or harbor any preconceived expectations - just let the relationship develop into what it wants to be
i know, it's scary to be so vulnerable - to make yourself available to other people
but what is the alternative?
is that what you want?
but from what i've seen - most people WANT to make friends with you - so all you have to do is make yourself available to them.
if you put yourself out there, with genuine sincerity, you will attract people who want to get to know you
then all you have to do is allow that to happen, show interest in them, and keep showing up at regular intervals in their lives (frequenting the same locales, etc.). at some point you may even suggest meeting up in different places and times other than what you are used to encountering that person in - that's how relationships are established
try not to define it, make any certain demands, or harbor any preconceived expectations - just let the relationship develop into what it wants to be
i know, it's scary to be so vulnerable - to make yourself available to other people
but what is the alternative?
is that what you want?
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I have too many friends, you must follow these steps:
First, say Hi and smile to people who you see frequently passing next to you,
Second hangout and walk frequently away from your house,
Third, talk to people who you want to be your friends, begin talking to them for exemple about the weather, or ask them what time is it,
Don't set boundaries between you and other people by your facial expression, try to be relaxed.
First, say Hi and smile to people who you see frequently passing next to you,
Second hangout and walk frequently away from your house,
Third, talk to people who you want to be your friends, begin talking to them for exemple about the weather, or ask them what time is it,
Don't set boundaries between you and other people by your facial expression, try to be relaxed.
don't feel bad, I have about two good true friends and the rest are just aquitances, its better to have two good friends then a bunch of people who you cant really speak about anything too. Not many people can go through this life with good true friends, my good friends ive known since I was 4 and now i'm 21, these are the people I really care about as ive known them the longest, they live back in my hometown but I know they'll always be there for me and vice versa....
these people who have 100 friends on facebook, they probably are not friends..do you think they have anyone to call at 3am if they are worried about something, probably not but I have two good friends that would answer....I have about 70 friends on facebook but the people on my facebook are people from school (that i never talk too) and mostly my family..but on a day to day basis i'd say I talk to about three people(who aren't my family) on facebook...I always found with these people with lots of friends are so mean and I don't understand it, I don't wish to have 100 "friends" (people they just know) in real life or online but it would be nice to have more friends but I used to live with someone in student accommodation who was really horrible and mean and cheeky and made my life hell and yet everyone liked her and thought she was cool and amazing and they all tried so hard to be her friend, what is with people? why would you want to be friends with someone like that?
so what im trying to say is be lucky for the friends you have, they are true friends, nobody in this world has 80-100 friends they are aquitances not true friends and to be honest its good to have true friends who u can be urself with.
these people who have 100 friends on facebook, they probably are not friends..do you think they have anyone to call at 3am if they are worried about something, probably not but I have two good friends that would answer....I have about 70 friends on facebook but the people on my facebook are people from school (that i never talk too) and mostly my family..but on a day to day basis i'd say I talk to about three people(who aren't my family) on facebook...I always found with these people with lots of friends are so mean and I don't understand it, I don't wish to have 100 "friends" (people they just know) in real life or online but it would be nice to have more friends but I used to live with someone in student accommodation who was really horrible and mean and cheeky and made my life hell and yet everyone liked her and thought she was cool and amazing and they all tried so hard to be her friend, what is with people? why would you want to be friends with someone like that?
so what im trying to say is be lucky for the friends you have, they are true friends, nobody in this world has 80-100 friends they are aquitances not true friends and to be honest its good to have true friends who u can be urself with.
Subpop
Well-known member
This is really good advice. Overthinking or intellectualising situations can really stifle any attempts to relax in the company of others and interfere with learning to be 'in the moment' and learning to practice strategies to overcome anxiousness.
Lea
Banned
I don´t know what´s weird about it, if people are extraverted, it is very easy to make loads of friends. It comes naturally to them. First of all, you must not be shy and be comfortable around people. Extroverts get energized on parties and around a lot of people, that´s why the friends come naturally to them. It is not how hard you try, it has to come naturally!
Flanscho
Well-known member
Nobody has 80 to 100 friends, no matter what they say. Why? Friendships require time. You have no time for your friends? The friendships fall apart. Nobody has time for a hundred friends.
I got about four very close friends, about 5 more not that close, and maybe 15 more that losely somehow belong to my circle of friends.
I got about four very close friends, about 5 more not that close, and maybe 15 more that losely somehow belong to my circle of friends.
WishingICould
Well-known member
I don't even have that...
5arah
Well-known member
You might consider whether you want friends because you crave association or because you feel having friends/many friends is what's normal. If it's the former…well, I'm not qualified to give advice on making friends, and I hope you find someone who is, but if it's the latter, try to be okay with yourself. You don't have to be "normal". It's definitely important to be around people regularly, but it's okay to enjoy being alone or with only a few people. As always, sorry if this is irrelevant. I have a knack for that. 
WishingICould
Well-known member
You might consider whether you want friends because you crave association or because you feel having friends/many friends is what's normal. If it's the former…well, I'm not qualified to give advice on making friends, and I hope you find someone who is, but if it's the latter, try to be okay with yourself. You don't have to be "normal". It's definitely important to be around people regularly, but it's okay to enjoy being alone or with only a few people. As always, sorry if this is irrelevant. I have a knack for that.
I don't crave association. Being "popular" doesn't really interest me. It would just be nice to have a group of people i could rely on, have a laugh with and trust.
5arah
Well-known member
Ah, that's what I meant by association. Apologies for using a vague and possibly inaccurate term. That's certainly a normal and legitimate desire. To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't have that if it weren't for my sister. Sorry, I can't give you any good advice.
paintedblue
Well-known member
Richey
Well-known member
I think it's a simple answer, but with lots of variations of uniqueness. i think alot of it comes down to the conditioning of personalities they were always with growing up, upbringing. personal traits like personality, quirks, swagger.
person A: grows up is mild mannered and quiet, perhaps moody and somewhat defeatist, but can be silly, fun, chatty with friends, has a group of friends, 4-5 close friend with many other acquantences, something happens, they get bullied, maybe two of those friends have a big argument, maybe there is some bullying somewhere, they then become more reserved, switch off, become very independent and fly solo instead. Hang on to the belief that they weren't wanted or that it was time to disengage from the group. This becomes the "norm" after a while. Really needs some friends to give them a boost of self-esteem though. To remind them of their importance. Without that, more likely to stick to a cycle of "safety". Wait for someone else to befriend you, which may never happen unless you take a risk.
person B: Grows up, is loud, unselfconscious, has a fearless approach to making friends. has some coolness about them that people like so continues to make friends, has some problems but never enough that it effects personality or belief entirely. So progresses. Will dictate asking friends to go places, is generally the one who make the phone calls and shows interest in topics, conversation. More likely to always have a group of friends in some form throughout life.
person A: grows up is mild mannered and quiet, perhaps moody and somewhat defeatist, but can be silly, fun, chatty with friends, has a group of friends, 4-5 close friend with many other acquantences, something happens, they get bullied, maybe two of those friends have a big argument, maybe there is some bullying somewhere, they then become more reserved, switch off, become very independent and fly solo instead. Hang on to the belief that they weren't wanted or that it was time to disengage from the group. This becomes the "norm" after a while. Really needs some friends to give them a boost of self-esteem though. To remind them of their importance. Without that, more likely to stick to a cycle of "safety". Wait for someone else to befriend you, which may never happen unless you take a risk.
person B: Grows up, is loud, unselfconscious, has a fearless approach to making friends. has some coolness about them that people like so continues to make friends, has some problems but never enough that it effects personality or belief entirely. So progresses. Will dictate asking friends to go places, is generally the one who make the phone calls and shows interest in topics, conversation. More likely to always have a group of friends in some form throughout life.
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