How do people always have something to talk about and I don't?

[Hero]

I notice in people's conversations, people pluck out quotes, conversation topics, facts, funny incidents that have happened to them. They are like comedians with an endless barrage of material to talk about. "Did you see.." "Did you know that.." "The other day.."

My mind is littered with thought, I have done many interesting things, but I can't remember them. I can't just grab something out of my head and talk about it, and when I try my mind is blank. I wish I could pluck info out my head, but it seems an absolute mess!

 

[jryden]

YES. This happens to me too.
This site has helped me realize some of the things that happen to me (because of SA) aren't only happening to me! Things like not being able to remember well. Once the conversation ends, I'm like I should have said that!, I should have told that story. Its so frustrating.

 

[Srijita52]

The same thing happens to me too. When I talk to someone even online, I just can't think of anything to say. Its like my mind goes totally blank. But maybe its something that gets better with enough practice though.

 

[laure15]

This happens often to me too, but I think it has something to do with selective mutism. At home, I can say whatever I want with my parents, but in public with strangers, I find it hard to voice my thoughts.

 

[uniquemisfitess]

I notice in people's conversations, people pluck out quotes, conversation topics, facts, funny incidents that have happened to them. They are like comedians with an endless barrage of material to talk about. "Did you see.." "Did you know that.." "The other day.."

My mind is littered with thought, I have done many interesting things, but I can't remember them. I can't just grab something out of my head and talk about it, and when I try my mind is blank. I wish I could pluck info out my head, but it seems an absolute mess!

I also have this issue and if I do get the nearve to talk it comes out all wrong or I lose thought patterns and feel silly and someone usually interupts before I get through my thought. I am really good at talking to myself also. LOL

 

[Hero]

I'm glad I'm not alone here guys. I always try to remember SA isn't my fault- I'm just a victim of circumstance and bad luck! Has anyone thought of any techniques so far to help? I find it even harder to talk to myself, it is really unnatural- but I do feel safe, and un-judged.

 

[Bo592]

put it on paper start a journal. start listing topic that interest you and have a conversation with yourself when you are alone and study what you wrote before you go out. The problem is your close up and need to express yourself.

 

[gustavofring]

Momentum.

A lot of people are in a routine of activities and planned things. They always have something going on.

 

[Phoenixx]

I notice in people's conversations, people pluck out quotes, conversation topics, facts, funny incidents that have happened to them. They are like comedians with an endless barrage of material to talk about. "Did you see.." "Did you know that.." "The other day.."

My mind is littered with thought, I have done many interesting things, but I can't remember them. I can't just grab something out of my head and talk about it, and when I try my mind is blank. I wish I could pluck info out my head, but it seems an absolute mess!

^ I totally understand, I'm like this too. I am not much of a forgetful person, and my mind is constantly running with thoughts, it's how I've always been. But get me to try and start a conversation or keep one going? I can't think of a single thing to say usually. And the times when I actually want to say something? I can't because I'm too anxious and afraid to say what's on my mind. I can never win.

 

[Foxface]

The same thing happens to me too. When I talk to someone even online, I just can't think of anything to say. Its like my mind goes totally blank. But maybe its something that gets better with enough practice though.

Same here, especially if it's someone I like.

 

[neohorizon]

How i got better: PLZ READ

In my case the problem was my speaking skills and my confidence (none), i couldn't speak right cause i had no skill with it and my anxiety in these moments were huge.

"Solution":
the professional help will make big difference, but if you want to win this war you must fight many battles!
If you want stop being a horrible cooker, you need to cook!
I know its hard, there's the fear of shame or of looking like a retard. But what i can say is, fight as many battle as you can, say more "Hi" to people, ask for things to other people just to start a conversation, find people that likes the same things that you like and talk about it...
And remember to use the lost battles, the conversations that ended bad and you regret, to learn and dont repeat the mistakes... (i bet you will repeat cause its freaking hard, but go on).
After you get better the words and topics come much easier.

If you constant have awkward moments there is some guides on google to help you!

* srry my english *
(ctrl + c from other post of mine)

 

[coyote]

Has anyone thought of any techniques so far to help?

i've learned to stop thinking so much about the conversation

to stop thinking about what to say, or whether what i have to say is any good

to get out my own head and just try to be fully present in the moment

then all the stuff i want to say comes out without any effort

 

[JuiceB]

The same thing happens to me too. When I talk to someone even online, I just can't think of anything to say. Its like my mind goes totally blank. But maybe its something that gets better with enough practice though.

The same thing happens to me. This is why I avoid online chat.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

Sometimes I have a lot to say; other times I am silent. My problem used to be not having anything to talk about as I didn't have many life experiences to draw upon. Still don't. What has helped me is to read. A lot. About everything and anything. Having an interest in the person you are talking to is also helpful; just ask questions and more questions. Whatever comes to mind. Just say it. Sometimes it is difficult to do that and that is okay. The key is to keep trying. It is all comes down to practice.

 

[surewhynot]

Turn the tables. Ask them what they've been up to and then talk about anything that's loosely related. If they say "nothing", then say "oh I can't believe that, an active outgoing person like you".
Soon you'll have them thinking they're quiet and awkward. It's not pleasant for them, but better them than you , huh.

That sounds rather offensive... maybe not the best way to keep friends.

 

[xDreamseller]

YES. This happens to me too.
This site has helped me realize some of the things that happen to me (because of SA) aren't only happening to me! Things like not being able to remember well. Once the conversation ends, I'm like I should have said that!, I should have told that story. Its so frustrating.

Yup, this. If I had time to think about a conversation...like a pause button...I believe that I could be quite a good speaker. I don't have that luxury though.