How can I make people understand?

[Draconess25]

I'm sick of people saying things like "everyone gets nervous" or "she's just a little shy", or trying to explain to me how so-and-so is an awesome person and I don't need to be afraid. They just can't seem to get that it goes BEYOND nervousness, BEYOND shyness, BEYOND being afraid of strangers! Hell, I've known most of my friends for years and I'm still anxious around most of them! How can I make people understand how terrified I get?

 

[Silatuyok]

I'm sick of people saying things like "everyone gets nervous" or "she's just a little shy", or trying to explain to me how so-and-so is an awesome person and I don't need to be afraid. They just can't seem to get that it goes BEYOND nervousness, BEYOND shyness, BEYOND being afraid of strangers! Hell, I've known most of my friends for years and I'm still anxious around most of them! How can I make people understand how terrified I get?

You can turn it around by using one of their fears as an example. What if you put a snake in their lap or threw spiders on them? Would they appreciate it if you said, "Oh, it's just a little snake/spider?" Probably not.

 

[littlegrrr]

What i find abhorrent is a stranger telling you every FREAKIN time they see you to "think happy thoughts" "smile" "theres so much to be thankful for" and when you politely explain youre introverted and take alot of time to warm up they say OH THATS JUST STINKIN THINKIN!

I even had a psychologist tell me that an say it was "situational depression" and i was creating imaginary issues. I finally went into a deep psychosis for 6 days and was properly dxed due to history and my very obvious amnesia-like state. At least now i have a diagnosis. Or teo, actually.


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[Draconess25]

You can turn it around by using one of their fears as an example. What if you put a snake in their lap or threw spiders on them? Would they appreciate it if you said, "Oh, it's just a little snake/spider?" Probably not.

About the only fear my mom has is one of her kids getting hurt, so that wouldn't really work. I mean I guess it could, like if I threatened to hurt myself or my brother, but that'd be a little extreme. >>

 

[ukmale]

Tell me about it I have no clue how my body works lol most people just call me lazy even when a friend rings up the house phone and I mean I have been friend with this guy since I was like 10ish maybe younger went all the way though school together and I will get panicking and start messing my words up just talking over the phone to him but after a while il settle into it and be alright but crap me if they pop over and wanna go out somewhere I die really die I only go out a hand full of times a yr

 

[Draconess25]

Tell me about it I have no clue how my body works lol most people just call me lazy even when a friend rings up the house phone and I mean I have been friend with this guy since I was like 10ish maybe younger went all the way though school together and I will get panicking and start messing my words up just talking over the phone to him but after a while il settle into it and be alright but crap me if they pop over and wanna go out somewhere I die really die I only go out a hand full of times a yr

That's what I hate the most, when people say I'm just lazy! Dx

 

[hardy]

What can you do? I have family members who keep on telling me nothing is wrong with me. And then there are others who think i have a mental disease. I don't like both opinions. May be people should mind their own opinion and leave me alone. Wait, i don't like that too...being Ignored.

It's a catch-22 situation.

 

[Draconess25]

What can you do? I have family members who keep on telling me nothing is wrong with me. And then there are others who think i have a mental disease. I don't like both opinions. May be people should mind their own opinion and leave me alone. Wait, i don't like that too...being Ignored.

It's a catch-22 situation.

Sometimes, I feel like it is a mental illness, because it obstructs our lives so much. But other times, I think it's just a personality type that other people just don't get, and it's that lack understanding that obstructs our lives.

 

[Capsaicin]

A sit-down and a long talk. Empathy is a virtue not a lot of people have enough of.

What i find abhorrent is a stranger telling you every FREAKIN time they see you to "think happy thoughts" "smile" "theres so much to be thankful for" and when you politely explain youre introverted and take alot of time to warm up they say OH THATS JUST STINKIN THINKIN!

I even had a psychologist tell me that an say it was "situational depression" and i was creating imaginary issues. I finally went into a deep psychosis for 6 days and was properly dxed due to history and my very obvious amnesia-like state. At least now i have a diagnosis. Or teo, actually.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

One of my least favorite trends in thinking, personally. There's such a thing as getting mired in negative emotions and giving them too much priority, but they do need to be recognized and processed. It's unhealthy to not do so, not to have or express them.

 

[Kiwong]

I've had things said such as "it doesn't look like anxiety to me" or "it's not anxiety it's a bad attitude. Why wouldn't I have a bad attitude to someone who said I was weird, after I told everyone I had a mental illness. Of course I resent it.

But that is the worst, the best is the people have shown me kindness,that was something beyond my expectations.

 

[AGR]

You dont,unless you want to be treated diferent,for good or a lot of times for worse,smart people would already get it anyway.

 

[Draconess25]

I've had things said such as "it doesn't look like anxiety to me" or "it's not anxiety it's a bad attitude. Why wouldn't I have a bad attitude to someone who said I was weird, after I told everyone I had a mental illness. Of course I resent it.

But that is the worst, the best is the people have shown me kindness,that was something beyond my expectations.

Yeah, I get "You must not have anxiety if you always come out of your room when people are over." I just like making sure they aren't talking about me.

 

[R3K]

ppl understand perfectly, they're just afraid. who wants to be known by their cool friends as someone who wastes time empathizing and babying a social phobic? it's not cool/popular to hang out in our depressed world, and it's futile to even try to bring us into the sunshine (usually).

so they brush us off with these dumb comments cause they're too afraid to lose face in their cool social cliques. gj normal ppl :applause:

 

[Draconess25]

ppl understand perfectly, they're just afraid. who wants to be known by their cool friends as someone who wastes time empathizing and babying a social phobic? it's not cool/popular to hang out in our depressed world, and it's futile to even try to bring us into the sunshine (usually).

so they brush us off with these dumb comments cause they're too afraid to lose face in their cool social cliques. gj normal ppl :applause:

I dunno what cool social cliques my mom and her husband are in, cause they don't even have any friends. xD

 

[PheonixBomb]

To paraphrase another forum I frequent "JUST B URSELF N DON B SHY LOLZ"

*facepalm*

 

[Ithior]

I'm sick of people saying things like "everyone gets nervous" or "she's just a little shy", or trying to explain to me how so-and-so is an awesome person and I don't need to be afraid. They just can't seem to get that it goes BEYOND nervousness, BEYOND shyness, BEYOND being afraid of strangers! Hell, I've known most of my friends for years and I'm still anxious around most of them! How can I make people understand how terrified I get?

I don't really have an answer, but maybe explaining the physical symptoms would be more clear to them? "Nervousness", "shyness", "being afraid": they'll take those as something that's just in your head.
But if you tell them what goes on with your body, like you told me in the other thread, they would probably understand better that it's not simply just in your head. You don't have to tell them all the symptoms if you feel embarrassed about them.

 

[Draconess25]

I don't really have an answer, but maybe explaining the physical symptoms would be more clear to them? "Nervousness", "shyness", "being afraid": they'll take those as something that's just in your head.
But if you tell them what goes on with your body, like you told me in the other thread, they would probably understand better that it's not simply just in your head. You don't have to tell them all the symptoms if you feel embarrassed about them.

Explaining it doesn't work. :/ They say that if I really felt that bad, I'd go see a doctor.

 

[SilentBird]

I don't understand how I feel, let alone know how to explain it.

 

[nickbraendle]

I have this same issue in my life. I also get the "he's just shy" and "everyone gets nervous". When I tell them about my social anxiety, they all say something to the extent of "just don't worry about those things" and "just move on". "Just" is the word that makes me angry in these instances. I feel with this disorder, It isn't possible for quotes and words of advice to change me at all, for me at least. It never has. It's hard for people to understand. You aren't alone. I'm sick of it too.