This is a little off-topic and not directly related to your issue of why looks matter to guys, but if you want to weed out your male "friends" with ulterior motives, just let it slip that you'd never date a friend under any circumstances, even if they were the last guy on earth. Let it slip that you can't help but see male friends as brothers, so it absolutely repulses you to think about them romantically. Let it slip that even if you got absolutely drunk off your bum and threw yourself at them, the minute they reciprocate you'd be gone. Constantly refer to them as "buddy" and take every opportunity to remind them how good of a friend they are (and if you have a bf, tell them that he agrees). Also let it slip that you think guys who take the "friend angle" just to position themselves so they can date the woman down the road are the absolute slimiest scum of the earth (because they are). And be adamant and fiery about it all, as if you're talking about guys who club baby seals for a living. Don't be wishy-washy, otherwise you might give them a glimmer of hope that you're just teasing. Those that stick around after all that are probably the ones who really care about you and would make good friends.
I think cross-gender friendships (friendships between men and women) can be tricky; I think you need to use a different set of rules for your male friends compared to your female friends. For example, physical contact, looks-based compliments, pet names, and one-on-one activities with romantic undertones should be avoided as much as possible because your male friends might misinterpret them as you "sending signals". I'm not trying to come across as some kind of expert or lecture you (you probably know all this anyway), but for personal reasons I've been reading A LOT on the subject lately (anecdotes on forums, as well as articles, studies, and even a couple books), and I've come to the conclusion that although legitimate cross-gender friendships (cgfs) exist, they're pretty rare. And I think way rarer still (if they exist at all) are cgfs where there's absolutely zero romantic or sexual tension from either party. In other words, even in legitimate cgfs, one of the people probably secretly has romantic feelings for the other.
One of the studies I read really made laugh (though I wasn't surprised with the results in the least) because it highlighted how different men and women are when it comes to friendships. Men with female friends were asked if they ever had romantic or sexual feelings for any of their female friends, and I think like 75% of them responded YES (and you can bet the actual number is even higher since I'm sure some lied when they said NO). Women with male friends were asked the same question, and only like 15-20% answered YES. You can interpret these results in lots of ways, some which paint males in a not very good light. lol.
Anyway my point is, try not to take things personally as some kind of aspersion on or denigration of your personality or character, because it seems like most (if not all) women in cgfs have to put up with similar issues to yours. I think the main issue is that women just tend to value cgfs much, much more than most men (and that's probably no surprise to anyone). Like I said before though, I think a true friend will put his feelings and wants aside, and respect the friendship because he knows it's extremely important to you. No matter how strong my romantic feelings are, I'd never violate the trust of someone I genuinely cared about. If things got too painful, I'd have to distance myself of course, but I'd still try to be there for them. I think unrequited feelings, even romantic ones, are pretty fleeting though, so I don't think it should ever be serious enough to break up a legitimate friendship.
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