I feel like im not going anywhere, i thought the life after highschool was a big thing, you know like everyone imagine. Some of my classmates are traveling everywhere, and im just here on the computer typing of how i feel. I feel like a loser and i know i am. I can't take this anymore, i want to change but how do i change when i dont know were to start. Im an 19 year old college student, who doesnt even have his first job yet. I envy you people that are able to fight past your fears and find a job. I envy you i say! What am i going to do after college you say? I dont really know, im too scared of the real world, Im scared that i might not be able to make it. I feel inferior to everyone else. Im always confuse and second guessing myself. What i want is to explore to learn many things, travel and have confidence, and some day find a woman and have children. But the more i think about this the more it becomes a fantasy than a goal. How the hell am i suppose to reach that goal when i cant even fight for myself. I dont have the money to help myself. I hear people say that the way to beat SP is to eat right and do all that crap. But, I mean the the hell am i suppose to eat right when i cant even money to buy the ingredients. For the love of god i eat rice with meat every ****ing day. I dont know what the hell i shoudl do next. I feel even more anxious now that the economy is failing and people losing their jobs. How the hell am i suppose to find a job when people with more experience than me are out there doing the best trying to find a job. How the hell am I suppose to compepte with that. Hopefullly, no one will complain that i didnt do paragrahs, this was my intention.