i just dont care for anything anymore and it's kinda sad. I'm going on a trip tomorrow and i'm not excited. My cat got put down today:🙁: and i have lil emotions thats not good maybe i'm in a real deep depression? i dunno , i really dont know whats wrong with me. i really think i'm a robot :🙁:. fukk.
well i went to the boot sale today , i got a nice cot for my gfs daughter for her baby , rambo dvds , the god father dvds , and there was this spanish bird selling home made Pella so i brought some it was lovely , then off to my weight training , done that now im stuffing chicken and rice so im chilled and happy ....... oh also im waiting to see if i get banned , so its been a pretty exciting day actually , and it hasnt finished yet , cos all the people that voted for me to be banned , im going to ban cos im the web master 😉 just a little warning there so retract your ban vote before i see it savvy 😎
i have drank two valiums and scremed, shivered, made my mom cry, made everyone feel bad, and i feel like ****.. and i cant calm down and there is no hope :/
Feeling alright today. I usually find myself pretty content with what I have, but I could certainly be happier. Content doesn't include happiness for me all the time..
I have been having a very tough time with agoraphobia sneaking up on me again, which scared the **** out of me 🙁
When it all comes down to it though, I am healthy physically, have a place to stay, have a job to pay the bills, food in the cupboard.. I would be selfish to not be happy for that.
Mentally and physically tired. I called my old co-worker last week, just to ask her how she was doing, cuz I haven't spoken to her for months. She asked me if I have time next Saturday. So I said: yes. And then we decided to see each other in her hometown today and to make some Indonesian dishes together. When I was at the train station in my hometown, she called me to ask me if I've read her sms. So I said, no.
She: Will you read it now?
I: What's wrong? You sound so sad on the phone. Did something horrible happen?
She: Yes.
I: Then what happened? You can tell me now.
She: No, no, no. Just read the message, ok?
I: Ehm ok, I will.
sms: 'I need to cancel this appointment, cuz I need to bring my bf to the hospital.'
After I read the message, I called her back.
She: Did you already take the train?
I: not yet, but the train will arrive about 1 minute.
She: Ok, you can still come if you want.
I: Ok, see you later.
When I arrived in her hometown, I called her to tell her that I arrived. We walked to the market near her appartment and we did some groceries.
I: Can I see your appartment? Cuz you promised to show me.
She: No, you can't right now, cuz my bf is resting. He was in the hospital yesterday, but now he's at home again, to recover. Maybe some other time.
I: Oh ok, I understand. You should take care of him.
So I only went with my old co-worker to the market. She bought some veggies and fruit and after that we went to a restaurant to eat a roti. She only ordered a snack.
I: Aren't you hungry?
She: No, I'll eat at home. I already cooked for myself and for my bf.
I was like: Oh ok. My old co-worker is usually very funny, but today she was rather bored and stressed out and she wanted to take the bus to her house immidiately after I finished my meal.
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