How are you feeling?

lily said: ↑

I think 2023 might be a better year for me. I hope so!

I'm hoping the same for me, as this year hasn't been that great for me.

Exhausted but inspired...

Didn't really get much sleep last night, due to still be hyped up after seeing a concert in Glasgow. Ah wus still up at 3 o'clock this morning. 😆

This gig to be specific...

The opening band were phenomenal. Biffy were on top form. My 9th time seeing them, and nearly a decade since I last saw them in concert. Ah got quite emotional when they played one of their older songs – 57, the song that got me into the band. And ah totally blow my voice out – like most o' the crowd, I'd imagine – singing along to the final song o' the night: Many of Horror.

Well... I'm not doing so well. Been pretty much bedridden with lower back pain all day. Just come on not long after I woke up, probably could be down to the way I slept? 🤷‍♂️ Whatever's caused it, it been bloody agony, anyway. 😖😫

Graeme1988 said: ↑

Well... I'm not doing so well. Been pretty much bedridden with lower back pain all day. Just come on not long after I woke up, probably could be down to the way I slept? 🤷‍♂️ Whatever's caused it, it been bloody agony, anyway. 😖😫

awww, I hope you feel better soon!

My back is feeling a lot better now, ah decided to rest up and just lie in bed for much of Monday there. Then, on Tuesday, I decided to force to do stretches to help my back. As painful as it was certainly help, as I was feeling a lot better yesterday.

It's been a long time since I posted here and plenty has happened in my life.

My wife fell seriously ill for which she is undergoing treatment, trying to look after her and the children, trying to deliver at work (amidst the work fraud anxieties) and responsibility for a household and car that I'm still clueless on.

People have helped, especially when my wife went to hospital, but since she's home it has been incredibly difficult to ask and accept for help.

So this means, when I try to do something, I go into it feeling anxious, out of my depth and if there's a setback, then that sets me off mentally and I feel absolutely worthless as a 36 year old man.

I feel overwhelmed by everything.

Not so great. I just found out that one of my cousins has had an overdose. 😟😔 They're okay now, like, thankfully. They're in the hospital, recovering and getting help. But that's all I know... haven't really asked for details as to how and why. And I don't want to know why, I'm just going to assume it was an attempt and leave it at that. That's not cool or mean of me, is it?

I just don't know how I'd have reacted to finding out they were dead. OD'ing is bad enough...

Graeme1988 said: ↑

Not so great. I just found out that one of my cousins has had an overdose. 😟😔 They're okay now, like, thankfully. They're in the hospital, recovering and getting help. But that's all I know... haven't really asked for details as to how and why. And I don't want to know why, I'm just going to assume it was an attempt and leave it at that. That's not cool or mean of me, is it?

I just don't know how I'd have reacted to finding out they were dead. OD'ing is bad enough...

Oh my God.. Graeme, aw, that's awful, especially near Christmas. Some people are happy and other hate holidays or Christmas for some reason. I'm glad they're alright and hopefully they'll never do that again. No that's not mean of you if you say maybe it was attempt at suicide? I know! OD'ing is bad enough to hear! I wish you a very Merry Christmas Greame, xox

lily said: ↑

Oh my God.. Graeme, aw, that's awful, especially near Christmas. Some people are happy and other hate holidays or Christmas for some reason. I'm glad they're alright and hopefully they'll never do that again. No that's not mean of you if you say maybe it was attempt at suicide? I know! OD'ing is bad enough to hear! I wish you a very Merry Christmas Greame, xox

Thank you.

Merry Christmas to you as well, lily.

I am bored but things are coming up later this month.

Quite fatigued, low energy.

And my Mum stressing a bit because, last night while chatting on the phone, her brother just dropped a surprise that: he coming up from London to visit and stay with us for a few days in a couple of weeks' time. And, one of my cousins is coming with him. Not that we're not looking forward to it, it's just... all very last minute.

So damn happy I got a new iPad for Christmas. I can’t believe how much I love it ❤️❤️❤️

MollyBeGood said: ↑

So damn happy I got a new iPad for Christmas. I can’t believe how much I love it ❤️❤️❤️

I got a new cell phone cover during the Christmas season but it was deceiving. The colour of the phone made me think it was the cover colour but it was actually transparent, lol, so I want to get a new one.

Quite disappointed. 😔

My uncle fell yesterday and hurt his hip... again. So, he probably won't be coming to visit now. 😟

He was supposed to be travelling up from London and staying with my mum and I for a week.

Thankfully, though, he only bruised his hip. And my cousin who was going to be coming up to visit with my uncle has a fortnight's holiday in June, so they might come and stay for a week then.

Ugh! But still... We were all so looking forward to the visit. My uncle had his bags packed, my mum and I spent the last few days get things ready.

Graeme1988 said: ↑

Quite disappointed. 😔

My uncle fell yesterday and hurt his hip... again. So, he probably won't be coming to visit now. 😟

He was supposed to be travelling up from London and staying with my mum and I for a week.

Thankfully, though, he only bruised his hip. And my cousin who was going to be coming up to visit with my uncle has a fortnight's holiday in June, so they might come and stay for a week then.

Ugh! But still... We were all so looking forward to the visit. My uncle had his bags packed, my mum and I spent the last few days get things ready.

aw, I'm so sorry to hear. If he's not coming this time, maybe he can come another better time when he's better. 🙁

lily said: ↑

I got a new cell phone cover during the Christmas season but it was deceiving. The colour of the phone made me think it was the cover colour but it was actually transparent, lol, so I want to get a new one.

Not sure I understand what you mean? But I hope you get a new one that works better.

Feeling more positive about moving again. Maybe this new place will work out great, and I will meet some people I can feel a fellowship with. That would be life changing but I’d be happy with a roof and a bed first and foremost. 🙏

I have fallen sick with a cold/flu, mild but uncomfortable. I hope I get better soon. 🙁 Now I don't get to go out with my family this weekend if I don't get better by then. How sad and disappointing. I wanted to have fun and be with family going to places eating, drinking and walking and talking, lol

I have been going to the hospital and doctors a lot lately since my insurance kicked in and I can get the care I need to get better, but wow do I feel bad for the health care workers who have to wear the masks all day everyday. The first thing I do when I walk out the door I rip mine off and feel so thankful to not have to be so restrained anymore. I noticed two of the nurses at my last visit were breathing through their mouths loudly and sounded unhealthy and stressed breathless almost even while just sitting there taking my BP …I feel like I like in an alternative universe ever since 2020

lily said: ↑

1 month later and I'll be down to 0.5mg of my benzo and 5mg sth of one of my medications that cause me a lack of motivation. Yay!

Are you getting off Benzodiazepines completely then? I just watched a doc on how that can be very tricky. It’s unfortunate the medicines that are supposed to help with anxiety can make us so tired and unmotivated. I have never tried that class of drugs even though I know I could get a script. Ever since I got suicidal off the antidepressants and all the other side effects I have not taken anything for mental health that isn’t natural or holistic. Honestly for me sleeping helps me a lot. It’s not the most productive thing to do obviously but it helps turn it all off and I can finally relax naturally.