Hey would you have kids?

PhillipJFry

PhillipJFry

Well-known member
anomicdeer said:
I ruined my life for having one. Not only did I make a mistake by being with the father but it was stupid that I actually wanted one. Now I'm just a unsuccessful, lazy, crazy mother who can't deal with anything, especially having a developmentally delayed child. I add an extra person to this crowded world, so stupid. I just wish I got an abortion or something happened so I can get on with just taking care of only me and not having that responsibility.

But no. I'm stupid.
Click to expand...

Oh man, I'm sorry, that's a difficult situation.

I wish you wouldn't call yourself stupid when you're likely not, I don't know you though so I can't prove you wrong. But as far as mistakes go, having a kid is not so bad. At least your not the captain of the titanic, that guy messed up once and killed like 1,500 people.

I do hope that your life becomes "un-ruined" in the future, and that you and your child will be happy one day.
 
anomicdeer

anomicdeer

Well-known member
Well, that's their life. I don't care if they lost a child. If they want one then they can keep trying. I know someone with that problem and they finally had one. You think I don't have feelings? Well, it doesn't matter anyway since I don't care about anyone elses.

I know how horrible what I said sounds. That's how much I hate myself.
 
worrywort

worrywort

Well-known member
Have to say, I didn't find anything offensive about anomicdeer's post, I just though it was honest. In fact I can empathise a little. I'd imagine it's quite common that a person would regret having a child, it's seems like one of the hardest jobs in the world. Yet there seems to be a taboo about admitting that fact, but I don't think that's fair.

I do believe that, with time, it's possible to change your feeling of regret to one of genuine gratitude, where you'll come to see that having a child was a good thing to have happened to you, and I sincerely hope anomicdeer can find that place, but it's hard and I don't think there's anything wrong with a person venting their honest feelings on the matter.
 
PhillipJFry

PhillipJFry

Well-known member
anomicdeer said:
Well, that's their life. I don't care if they lost a child. If they want one then they can keep trying. I know someone with that problem and they finally had one. You think I don't have feelings? Well, it doesn't matter anyway since I don't care about anyone elses.

I know how horrible what I said sounds. That's how much I hate myself.
Click to expand...

I don't think you read what I wrote correctly, or maybe I unintentionally wrote in a way that sounded rude, if that's the case then I am sorry.
I wanted only for you to feel better, and perhaps to not hate yourself so much, I think it's okay to have the feelings you do. I wish you the best, honestly.
 
Argentum

Argentum

Well-known member
I would be more likely to adopt. I have a lot of sympathy for kids who sit in orphanages or foster care until they're old enough to fend for themselves. Any future spouse would have to drag me out after I selected our one, because I'd want any one that looked at me sadly. I had the same feeling when I was at an animal shelter a few years ago and a cat literally reached out and latched onto me, and I started crying when I was home because I couldn't afford to take it with me at the time.
 
Pyrophosphate

Pyrophosphate

1
Right now, I'm pretty sure I don't want kids, but I'm too young and financially unstable for kids anyway.

In the future, I would have real trouble signing myself up for that kind of responsibility, even if I did want them. If I do end up with kids, I am convinced they would be in good hands. I have 6 younger siblings, between 2 and 20 years younger than me, and I've seen and dealt with most anything that could be involved in raising children. They would be everything to me and I would be comitted for life. I just don't want to bring about that situation.

But that is all subject to change in the coming decades.
 
B

bsammy

Well-known member
no way in hell would i ever have kids...i wouldnt want to pass on any of my more negative traits...no way could i manage to see my kid go through that..
 
jayfan

jayfan

Well-known member
have kids but they are nothing like me which is a good thing .
never thought id get a girlfriend , never thought id get married or divorced, never thought i'd have kids, never wanted them but it just happened . i would not let it happen again .
bad experience for me . I'm a hermit , so i feel like sometimes my kids suffer because of my sa.
 
Last edited:
THeCARS1979

THeCARS1979

Well-known member
anomicdeer said:
I ruined my life for having one. Not only did I make a mistake by being with the father but it was stupid that I actually wanted one. Now I'm just a unsuccessful, lazy, crazy mother who can't deal with anything, especially having a developmentally delayed child. I add an extra person to this crowded world, so stupid. I just wish I got an abortion or something happened so I can get on with just taking care of only me and not having that responsibility.

But no. I'm stupid.
Click to expand...

how developmentally delayed are they
 
worrywort

worrywort

Well-known member
PhillipJFry said:
I don't think you read what I wrote correctly, or maybe I unintentionally wrote in a way that sounded rude, if that's the case then I am sorry.
I wanted only for you to feel better, and perhaps to not hate yourself so much, I think it's okay to have the feelings you do. I wish you the best, honestly.
Click to expand...

anomicdeer and I were replying to another user who's posts have subsequently been removed :thumbup:
 
Metal_isthe_Answer

Metal_isthe_Answer

Well-known member
Argentum said:
Fangirls stop and look when they pass Garrus, too, albeit for very different reasons.

(or do they?)
Click to expand...
This was one of my favorite bits:
Garrus: Nobody would give me a mirror. How bad is it?
Shepard: Hell Garrus, you were always ugly, slap some face paint on there and no one will even notice.
Garrus: Ha-ah! Don't make me laugh, damn it. My face is barely holding together as it is. Some women find facial scars attractive. Mind you, most of those women are krogan...
 
fate12321

fate12321

Well-known member
Nope. Never. I'm not sure why, but it's the way this world is heading that makes me not want to have an offspring.
 
RainAmbience

RainAmbience

Member
I honestly don't know, i suppose there is a chance i might in the future. Based on how i feel right now, i'd have to say no. I'm not capable of being a father just yet, i have much growing to do as a person. There's also the fact that i'm unemployed and have absolutely no idea what i'm going to do with my life. It also brings up another question. What kind of world would i be bringing them into?
 
W

w*n*c*a*m

Well-known member
I want kids. I'll just pray that they don't get my anxiety trait. I am the total opposite of my husband so I hope they get more of their father's personality.

The only thing I hope they could get from me is my artistry and intellect. (Not saying that my hubby is dumb. I'm just more of the analytical thinker and bookworm)
 
Regret93

Regret93

Well-known member
If you insist on owning a child to maintain your inflated ego, then please adopt. I would never bring another human onto this earth. It's a disgusting process, not to mention destructive as all hell. I'm a nice guy, I suppose.
 
Odo

Odo

Banned
I go back and forth on this one.

I think I probably would like to, actually. I really like kids and in theory know how to raise them, having been a teacher and meeting a lot of children and seeing what kind of parents they have. Of course, I also worry about not being able to be enough of a leader/parental figure.

I think it's getting to the point where I would need to have them soon, though. I don't have the biological clock problem that women do, but I'd still prefer to have a baby when I still have the energy to raise him or her right. I'd like to be more financially and emotionally stable as well... you can't be self-absorbed and unable to deal with your own shit when you have a kid. On the other hand, I've also learned that being responsible for someone else can really bring that out in a person.

There are a lot of reasons why I wouldn't want to have kids right at this exact moment, however... it's hard enough to meet one person let alone someone who would provide a loving family atmosphere and wouldn't clash with me over how to raise the kids or live life or other things of that nature.
 
Last edited:
W

WhisperingVoice

Member
Hi there! I have a boy he's 2 years old now, he isn't genetically mine but I personally know his parents. His mom, I could say have undergo a series of depression episodes but I don't really care if my son will genetically acquire his mom's traits. Because I also have social anxieties and have been depressed in the past and I know how exactly to cope up with it now. Maybe my role would be to shape him up to be a positive,outgoing and confident boy. I've been reading a lot of stuff about coping up with anxiety on early stages and I would always be there to guide him all throughout.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top