Hey everyone. Who else just sat and tried to think of a greeting? ^-^

#1
Hey guys. I'm Pixie, 28, and I've had social anxiety for most of my life, since before I even started school. It was pretty obvious, looking back, but strangely nobody noticed until I was bullied from the age of 12-14 about my appearance (and everything in between), and started skipping school until I dropped out at only 14 years old. I then became sort of agoraphobic, wouldn't leave the house for three years except for some appointments. A number of mental health professionals came to my home to see me, I was extremely dark and depressed. Lost all of my friends, except one. She's still my best friend now. Just before I turned 17 I started going out again, but I was never able to go out on my own or be anywhere in public by myself, and I still struggle with that. I don't know if that makes me agoraphobic or not. I shake and stumble and feel really lost and confused when I'm somewhere on my own, and I felt that way at school a lot, too. All the roots are from childhood, I now realise, but I don't know what to do about that. All treatments I've tried over the years have failed for the most part.

So that's my story in a nutshell. I've been on a number of forums but I struggle to stick around. Even online interaction is hard these days. I don't work, I live with my parents as I'm still quite dependent and I see myself as still a child, emotionally and psychology. I have general anxiety and don't handle life very well. I also have a chronic illness which causes me a huge amount of fear and stress, and I'm getting that tested right now. My dream is to be free of the illness, and to become an adult woman, no longer a kid! My name, by the way, is about my fantasy self/alter ago, Adrienne. I forgot to say I'm a maladaptive daydreamer! Adrienne is who I wish I could learn to be. To an extent, at least.

I've waffled on enough. Hopefully I'll see you around. :bigsmile:
 

DeadmanWalking

Well-known member
#2
I think that you're much better than you give yourself credit for:). To be self-aware enough of your problems and shortcomings to know how responsible you are for them without blaming yourself completely is a very good sign of maturity. But, really, it's just taking things one step at a time. You'll reach the person you want to be as long as you keep moving (even if you have to force yourself to do it) and never give up.

But, anyway, welcome to the site:thumbup:.
 

theoutsider

Well-known member
#4
Welcome to the forums. You sound like you would benefit greatly by being here. There are some really good folks on this forum who know your pain well. Their advice and sometimes just their listening ear(s) can be invaluable. If nothing else, know that you're not alone. Best wishes to you and hope to converse in the future.
 
#8
Welcome to social phobia world.

Sounds like you have "trait anxiety", like me. As i was painfully shy & awkward around people (even my family) before i even went to kindygarten or school.

I don't believe you can eliminate it, but it can be "moderated" via meds & other means. So it is (or seems to be) a "life sentence", but the good news is it can be worked on. :thumbup:
 
#9
:D Thanks for all the lovely welcomes. I finally log in today after avoiding it, really need to get over my "logging in anxiety."

I agree, I do think it's something that will be with me forever, but I hope to control it to some extent one day, enough to live more of a life. Truth be told, I'm quite lonely. I feel like Rapunzel.

This place seems really friendly so hopefully I'll find the motivation to log in more often!
 
Top