Help me fight anxiety

[Ithior]

I would like it if you guys could give me suggestions of things to do to battle my anxiety (sorta like challenges I guess?) and other recommendations from people who've been in similar situations.

For a while now I've been thinking that I probably don't have SA or AvPD, but last weekend I went through an experience that made me realise that I do have at least one of the two and that ignoring it won't make it go away.

Now that I have way too much free time on my hands, I want to work on improving my condition. I don't think there are good therapists in the city I live, though I never tried any; still, they're probably expensive and I don't have that much money to spare.

My anxiety usually happens in one of these circumstances:
-eating with girls I don't know well
-being with people in quiet spaces

Why does it happen? I'm not sure myself, but I believe the first one is related to basic human instincts and the second is more psychological: I think I'm afraid that people will hear my stomach grumbling or my digestion.

How does it manifest? Usually nausea and grumbling stomach. Nausea in the first situation and grumbling stomach in the second. Both happen if I'm in both situations at the same time.

I've tried this one method that was simply letting it be or even trying to magnify the anxiety feeling to see that it actually doesn't get worse, but when I try it it does get worse and I feel like throwing up.

Additional notes:
-I haven't thrown up in years, maybe I'm also afraid of throwing up because I remember it being awful. It's possible that this makes me more nauseated in some situations.
-I can't really pee unless I'm completely isolated from the "outside" world. That means I can only do it if there's no one around to hear or see me pee (sometimes just thinking that someone might be entering the restroom soon is enough to stop me), or if it's impossible for someone to hear or see me pee (constant loud noises for example). I guess I'm sort of paranoid in the bathroom.


Thank you for reading.

 

[hardy]

If the people here could help you, they wouldn't be here in the first place. Please be aware what you are doing...asking the questions in the wrong place. Please listen to this talk : DEALING WITH UNHAPPINESS AND WORRIES BY AJAHN BRAHM - YouTube ...it helps me calm my super anxious mind.

We need to solve our problems..no one can spoon feed you or anyone. Life is about leaning. If the situation is worse, medication isn't too bad temporarily. There might be good doctors that can help you, we need to find them...don't we?

 

[Ithior]

I'm not asking for a cure, I'm just asking for stuff that you guys have made that kinda helped you or that you think could help you but were too afraid to try. That's the sort of thing I'm looking for.

I already have medication that I take occasionally, but sometimes it doesn't really help.

 

[hardy]

I don't have answers for the questions...but this article might help in discovering the root cause of anxieties/problems.

The Art of Living: Vipassana Meditation

may we be happy.

 

[Silatuyok]

Everyone has these embarrassing physiological things going on from time to time. I happen to be pee shy too, and it's something I've learned to laugh about instead of worrying over. Being lightheartedly open with other people about these issues can take away a lot of the stress. If your stomach growls in front of other people in a quiet room, you could always make a joke about it, or just laugh about it yourself, make it seem like no big deal. There's no shame in these things that you mentioned, and the only reason it should bring negative attention to you is if you act awkward and nervous about it. That is going to make other people feel awkward and nervous!

 

[Biev]

I was going to say the same thing, but she phrased it better than me. It's very common for people to feel nervous in the situations you've mentionned. Enough that it's often joked about in movies and sitcoms. Some people manage to get over it better than others. I for one can pee in a public restroom just fine now, but I'm fairly sure I'll always feel super awkward sharing an elevator with people, for instance. I think it will help you if you realize that the other people around you are nervous too. Also, it's pointless to worry about things outside of your control like stomach rumbling. I doubt you are causing it to happen by worrying, any more than you can will it away. It happens to everyone and it doesn't have to be a big deal.

 

[jaim38]

I also don't feel comfortable eating around other people for fear of stomach growling, burping, farting, etc other embarassing noises. So when I eat out, say at a fast food restaurant, I try to eat less than normal.

It's interesting to hear many people are "pee shy". I'm more afraid of farting and doing #2 - if strangers hear me do this, I would be totally mortified! You could try flushing and doing your business at the same time to drown out the noise.

Vipassana meditation does help. I recommend it too.

 

[Ithior]

Thanks for the replies. I only got around to reading everything now (I kept avoiding it, seemed like a lot to read if you consider the links as well).

I had heard of something similar to Vipassana meditation before, but I have trouble doing it in social situations. I don't know, it feels like I have to ignore my surroundings to do it, and it might seem rude depending on the situation.

I still haven't watched the video though, it seems awfully long...

 

[Earthcircle]

Warm baths and hypnosis. There's a hypnotist on Youtube I really like: Michael Sealey. I see that you live in Europe. Could you afford to take some time off and visit one of the old spas?

 

[theoutsider]

^^^ Have you gone to a hypnotist in person? I'm curious about that because I have always thought hypnosis might be helpful but never fully pursued it.

 

[Earthcircle]

^^^ Have you gone to a hypnotist in person? I'm curious about that because I have always thought hypnosis might be helpful but never fully pursued it.

I have gone to a hypnotist in person. The one danger is that some hypnotists go in for the Freudian nonsense about getting in touch with past trauma. I would suggest making it clear to the hypnotist in advance that you don't want that. You want to *relax*.

 

[Ithior]

^^^ Have you gone to a hypnotist in person? I'm curious about that because I have always thought hypnosis might be helpful but never fully pursued it.

My dad is a neuropsychologist and he claims to be able to hypnotise, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that.

 

[Earthcircle]

My dad is a neuropsychologist and he claims to be able to hypnotise, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that.

He doesn't have to be the one doing it.

 

[HexNoir]

If the people here could help you, they wouldn't be here in the first place. Please be aware what you are doing...asking the questions in the wrong place.

I'm saying this out of love and respect: Don't you think we can all help one another by learning from eachother?

<3

 

[hardy]

I'm saying this out of love and respect: Don't you think we can all help one another by learning from eachother?

<3

my bad....lol

i wish i can be more supportive. The pain that i am dealing right now, it's almost impossible to be compassionate to others suffering. I am going to watch what i say or answer from here on...i have been saying a lot of sh**.