Hello...

[Dimples]

Hi Everyone, just thought I'd give a little, if not long introduction
I'm 23 years old and live in the Uk. I have suffered with social anxiety, severe depression, panic attacks and agoraphobia for the past 10 years. I was always a very shy child, a lot of strangers and family would comment on it to my parents. When I was about 7 there was a lot of arguing and abuse going on in my household and I grew up in a very unstable environment. At 13 I started getting picked in at college and that's when everything started. I dropped out of school and lost all my friends, I missed out on so much and in a way I still think I'm stuck in that mentality of high school. The bullying really affected me and still does. I always think strangers are going to randomly start on me and that everyone thinks the worst of me. I became pretty much house bound. I literally have NO friends. It's been this way since about 16. I rely heavily on my Mum. She does everything for me ie. shopping. I can't talk on the telephone or open the door. My Mum also "talks" for me when I'm in public, I literally go mute and cannot speak to anyone apart from my family. What makes it worse is that my family is very isolated also. We have no one apart from ourselves, they have no friends either. It sounds really strange I know! I honestly don't know if there is anyone else in the same position here?
Right now I only leave the house to walk my dog and even then I need to be driven by my Mum to a secluded location. I haven't interacted with a person outside my family since October.
It gets me really down to think that most people my age are living life to the fullest, that's what I want to do but I just feel it's never gonna happen. I've tried CBT but obviously that's hard because I can't talk to strangers.
I feel like I'm a lost cause right now and have gotten into a rut of accepting my life of just existing.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Hello, there! Welcome to the forum.

I know very well-- and get the feeling that most of the members here know exactly what you mean by feeling like a lost cause.
It feels impossible for me to get 'better'. I just want to be able to be self-sufficient. I'm fine with never having a social life but I want a job!
T_T

Anyways... Weirdy, here. 26 and agoraphobic.
And again-- welcome! ^_^

 

[fate12321]

Hello and welcome

I can tell you've been through a lot. You just gotta keep on going and not let life bring you down. Being a victim of bullying can be tough. But remember, those people are no longer with you, it's nothing but memory now, so try to let it go. Not everyone is cruel as you think there are good people out there, but to find them, you must put yourself out there as well. Try to make an effort to change, it's easier said than done, but every effort counts.

 

[BlueDays]

Hello Dimples, welcome to the site.

 

[TreeBones]

Hi Dimples,
I think a lot of us can relate to what you had to say. I personally feel like I'm just "existing" most of the time instead of living as well, I know it can be pretty tough.
Recently someone gave me advice on making an effort to achieve just the tiniest goals, that way, each step you take, it makes the whole ordeal a bit better. Maybe next time you walk your dog you could walk him without being dropped off somewhere. Who knows, maybe you won't even run into anyone while you're walking, and you'll probably feel a whole lot better afterwards.

Oh and welcome

 

[PugofCrydee]

Hi Dimples, welcome
It's great that you acknowledge your problems. You sound like you have thought deeply about not just what happens socially, but why.
That in itself tells me that you have the inner strength to improve how things are.
You're not happy with how things are, and you want to change things for the better.

2 days ago I was officially diagnosed with AvPD. I too am not happy with how things are in my life currently. It gets so lonely. I don't want want rich, beautiful, popular friends, just a few good friends with whom we can enjoy each others company and understand that things can be difficult at times for us.
So today I joined a support group for people with social anxiety.
I'm actually ..almost terrified at the thought of having to go and meet complete strangers. But the meetings will be lightly structured, as in 10 pin bowling, or a movie and we will grab a bite to eat before or after.
The good thing for me is, I know the people who will be there will have the same issues I do. It's going to be tough, but I'm going to give it my best shot.

I've been getting therapy for nearly 2 years, and have only just gotten to this stage.

I realize you have difficulty in talking to a CBT therapist, but they are truly your best hope at improving your life.
Not everything they say will work.
Not each session will help.
But if you can get something good out of going regularly, however small, it all adds up.

Even a 10% improvement would be great. I'd take that, would you?

 

[jc972]

Hi, welcome to the forum.

 

[greggy]

Hey welcome, im sure i speak for all of us in saying we are looking forward to getting to know you and getting through this together ;0)

 

[Dimples]

Thanks for the welcome guys
Obviously it's not nice to hear other people are feeling the same but at least I'm not alone here.

WeirdyMcGee- Oh yes I'd love to self-sufficient one day too, realistically though that won't be for a while, I think I'd go even deeper into myself and see no one not even my family if I was to move out now.

TreeBones- Thanks for the advice, I have had days where I change the routine and walk in public places but that hasn't happened since October time. I don't know what made me then, so I struggle to get into that mind set.

PugofCrydee- Thankyou! I really hope the meet up goes well for you. Let me know if you can
I have done a bit of research and haven't found any groups in my area. That would be a major step for me.
When I last did CBT things did go really well and I managed to go into a shop by myself and buy some shoes. That was when I was 16 but I feel the older I get the more useless everything is.

Does anyone else hate birthdays?

 

[PugofCrydee]

Oh yea..birthdays... lol.
For many years It's become just another day for me. It's all about people making you the center of attention. Probably just the opposite of what a lot of us would prefer.

 

[BoredBoredBored]

I can relate to the things that you say. I also have literally NO friends. The last time that a friend called me on the phone was probably about 5-7 years ago.

If you want things to change, you're either going to have to get help or force yourself to do things that make you uncomfortable and see what happens. Easier said than done, I know.

 

[Dimples]

BoredBoredBored - I try and tell myself that numerous times a day, it does help, but it is very hard to stay motivated and encouraged. Especially if something goes wrong which it usually has done.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Hi Everyone, just thought I'd give a little, if not long introduction
I'm 23 years old and live in the Uk. I have suffered with social anxiety, severe depression, panic attacks and agoraphobia for the past 10 years. I was always a very shy child, a lot of strangers and family would comment on it to my parents. When I was about 7 there was a lot of arguing and abuse going on in my household and I grew up in a very unstable environment. At 13 I started getting picked in at college and that's when everything started. I dropped out of school and lost all my friends, I missed out on so much and in a way I still think I'm stuck in that mentality of high school. The bullying really affected me and still does. I always think strangers are going to randomly start on me and that everyone thinks the worst of me. I became pretty much house bound. I literally have NO friends. It's been this way since about 16. I rely heavily on my Mum. She does everything for me ie. shopping. I can't talk on the telephone or open the door. My Mum also "talks" for me when I'm in public, I literally go mute and cannot speak to anyone apart from my family. What makes it worse is that my family is very isolated also. We have no one apart from ourselves, they have no friends either. It sounds really strange I know! I honestly don't know if there is anyone else in the same position here?
Right now I only leave the house to walk my dog and even then I need to be driven by my Mum to a secluded location. I haven't interacted with a person outside my family since October.
It gets me really down to think that most people my age are living life to the fullest, that's what I want to do but I just feel it's never gonna happen. I've tried CBT but obviously that's hard because I can't talk to strangers.
I feel like I'm a lost cause right now and have gotten into a rut of accepting my life of just existing.

Hey Dimples. Sorry I couldn't talk more in the chatbox. Hope you join us there again some time.

Your story is very similar to a lot of people here. When I found this place, just knowing I wasn't the only one was helpful. Please understand that things can get better if you don't give up, though it will likely take a lot of time and painful effort.

:thumbup:

 

[Dimples]

Thanks it does help a lot knowing I'm not alone in this. I feel like right now my mind is going through a switch since being on here. I'm already thinking of contacting my doctor for a discussion about medication.

 

[MikeyC]

G'day, Dimples. Hopefully things start picking up for you and you can start talking to other people besides your family.

Growing up in an unstable environment is awful. I'm sorry that has happened.

I hope you enjoy this forum.

 

[Stig23]

Hello Dimples, I know exactly what you mean. I was bullied from the start of middle school until my mum took me out of school the day before my 14th birthday. The bullying came from my so called friends and anyone else they could find.I've never told my mum but it had just started to get violent. I was skiving off school, sitting in the local library or walking to the beach. I'd sit on top of the cliffs and just wonder, would anyone actually miss me if I jumped.
I opened up to mum and she took me straight out of school. I'm now 23 on antidepressants and still can't leave the house without atleast having my mum with me. I am glad I didnt do anything stupid because a year later my big brother and his good for nothing ex (thats a story for another day) had a beautiful baby boy that I love with my whole heart.
I hope things get better for you. Dont rush into anything, take baby steps. Giant steps may get you there quicker but it may not be so great on your mental health. X
Sorry if I'm rambling, this is my 1st post and the 1st time I've been on any kind of forum an I'm literally shaking while typing lol

 

[BlueWeepingRose]

Hello, Welcome to the Forum!

 

[williamreinsch]

Hi Everyone, just thought I'd give a little, if not long introduction
I'm 23 years old and live in the Uk. I have suffered with social anxiety, severe depression, panic attacks and agoraphobia for the past 10 years. I was always a very shy child, a lot of strangers and family would comment on it to my parents. When I was about 7 there was a lot of arguing and abuse going on in my household and I grew up in a very unstable environment. At 13 I started getting picked in at college and that's when everything started. I dropped out of school and lost all my friends, I missed out on so much and in a way I still think I'm stuck in that mentality of high school. The bullying really affected me and still does. I always think strangers are going to randomly start on me and that everyone thinks the worst of me. I became pretty much house bound. I literally have NO friends. It's been this way since about 16. I rely heavily on my Mum. She does everything for me ie. shopping. I can't talk on the telephone or open the door. My Mum also "talks" for me when I'm in public, I literally go mute and cannot speak to anyone apart from my family. What makes it worse is that my family is very isolated also. We have no one apart from ourselves, they have no friends either. It sounds really strange I know! I honestly don't know if there is anyone else in the same position here?
Right now I only leave the house to walk my dog and even then I need to be driven by my Mum to a secluded location. I haven't interacted with a person outside my family since October.
It gets me really down to think that most people my age are living life to the fullest, that's what I want to do but I just feel it's never gonna happen. I've tried CBT but obviously that's hard because I can't talk to strangers.
I feel like I'm a lost cause right now and have gotten into a rut of accepting my life of just existing.

Hi there nice to meet you!

That sounds a lot like I was. My dad would usually do all the talking for me when I was younger and he would pretty much do a lot of the talking for my whole family in fact (he is the only one without a big SA problem).

It's important you go to a doctor and try to get therapy i mean this for me was the biggest step and it will put you in the right direction. I was so scared about what to say and even speaking to my doctor that I ended up just writing a letter and giving it to her when i sat down. I just said It's hard for me to explain so i've written it all down here. Is a great way to do it because I know how hard it is to think straight in those situations (especially at the beginning).

It's been 2 years since I started therapy and now i know what techniques are working best for me. I now use EFT everyday, I do exposure therapy everyday and I have a lot of my own techniques I use which help also. Now I go out more, I can handle embarrassing situations better, I feel more accepting of myself and I do what I love more without procrastinating too much because of being depressed.

I hope this has helped! This community is very friendly and if you have any questions, advice or even just want to talk just message one of us