Daniel089
Well-known member
I think my life has now become a big tragedy. My life is a game is where I'm the main character, and I can only lose, no other options.
Even if others do find my problems and my depression pretty ridiciolus, I feel lost like no other person on this planet.
Let me tell you about what happened this day:
From morning till afternoon I was in front of my PC as usual, then I packed my stuff, because in the evening I take the train, to my family's summer house near a lake. Before that I had this appointment with a psychotherapist. I told her about 85% of what I wanted to, in the end I said originally I was thinking about CBT. Then she said it is a very good idea, and gave me 3 names with 3 telephone numbers. In the end I wanted to pay, but she said I own her nothing, because we have no "contract". Well I'm gonna start CBT, but I don't know if I should try group therapy or individual therapy. I'm gonna leave the decision to the expert.
After this I took the train. When I arrived in the town my mom and her friend were already waiting for me. So we ate ice cream in the town centre where other people were just dancing, having fun, with lots of people even younger than me, lots of couples etc. It just completely made me depressed, that they are having fun. I just completely lost my mind, and wasn't keen on talking with my mom. I f'd up my life so bad I feel there is no place for me here anymore, because other people have a weird, unexplainable and detrimental effect on me. Instead of living the life, asking the girls to dance with me, having loads of fun with buddies, etc. I'm talking to my mom and her friend (who I do know for a long time now)
This caused a giant depression for me today, and I was having so much sorrow inside, mixed with self-pity it was pretty easy for me to begin to cry.
You may wonder why I just don't get to know people, is that so hard? No it isnt't hard for me, it is just simple impossible... (right now?)
Even if others do find my problems and my depression pretty ridiciolus, I feel lost like no other person on this planet.
Let me tell you about what happened this day:
From morning till afternoon I was in front of my PC as usual, then I packed my stuff, because in the evening I take the train, to my family's summer house near a lake. Before that I had this appointment with a psychotherapist. I told her about 85% of what I wanted to, in the end I said originally I was thinking about CBT. Then she said it is a very good idea, and gave me 3 names with 3 telephone numbers. In the end I wanted to pay, but she said I own her nothing, because we have no "contract". Well I'm gonna start CBT, but I don't know if I should try group therapy or individual therapy. I'm gonna leave the decision to the expert.
After this I took the train. When I arrived in the town my mom and her friend were already waiting for me. So we ate ice cream in the town centre where other people were just dancing, having fun, with lots of people even younger than me, lots of couples etc. It just completely made me depressed, that they are having fun. I just completely lost my mind, and wasn't keen on talking with my mom. I f'd up my life so bad I feel there is no place for me here anymore, because other people have a weird, unexplainable and detrimental effect on me. Instead of living the life, asking the girls to dance with me, having loads of fun with buddies, etc. I'm talking to my mom and her friend (who I do know for a long time now)
This caused a giant depression for me today, and I was having so much sorrow inside, mixed with self-pity it was pretty easy for me to begin to cry.
You may wonder why I just don't get to know people, is that so hard? No it isnt't hard for me, it is just simple impossible... (right now?)
Last edited: