Has SA Made You A Tougher Person?

theoutsider

theoutsider

Well-known member
I know we all talk about the woes of having our variations of social anxiety but I am wondering if anybody thinks that living with SA has made them a tougher/better person. It may sound a little oxymoron-ish but I actually think for me it has. Why? Well for starters it has forced me to have to learn to deal when people misunderstand, ridicule or just plain don't like me. I have learned to take people's negativity with a grain of salt and carry on about my business. I will never like being disliked or misunderstood but I now feel more equipped to deal than my counterparts who do not struggle with SA.

I've seen "normal" people occasionally find themselves victims of dislike or misunderstanding and it tears them apart. I actually made a co-worker laugh and feel better about her situation recently when this happened to her. I told her that people with SA have a name for situations where we are misunderstood or disliked. We like to call it Tuesday!

I feel that I am more at ease with myself whereas people without SA seem to often need interaction and approval from others. Also, I feel that having SA has made me more compassionate for anyone who is having a tough time in life. Where some people may scoff at a homeless person for example, I am able to see them from a different perspective and realize that because I don't know them personally and have no idea how they came to be in their situation, I am in no position to judge them.

I wouldn't wish SA on anyone, but I suppose every cloud has a silver lining.
 
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jaim38

Well-known member
I'm not sure if having SA made me tougher, but it definitely changed my outlook on life in general.

I feel that I am more at ease with myself whereas people without SA seem to often need interaction and approval from others. Also, I feel that having SA has made me more compassionate for anyone who is having a tough time in life. Where some people may scoff at a homeless person for example, I am able to see them from a different perspective and realize that because I don't know them personally and have no idea how they came to be in their situation, I am in no position to judge them.
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Me too. Having SA allows me to have a different perspective on things. I also find myself empathizing more with people who are being hated for whatever reason (aka JB, Kim K). I mean who are we to tell them how to live their lives? Leave them alone.
And sometimes when there's a certain trend or hype going around, I find myself questioning why it's so popular.

I wouldn't wish SA on anyone, but I suppose every cloud has a silver lining.
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I guess you're right.
 
R3K

R3K

Well-known member
hmm, yeah this is an odd topic lol, but i think i can agree with it in the sense of judgmentality(sp). so many non-socialphobics just doll out criticisms (almost always negative) about friends, coworkers, strangers even, with complete, unrestrained bias and hate.

being a lifelong victim of judgement and scrutinization from non-socialphobics, i've developed a mental shield to it all, and when i see a coworker being chastised by a manager for something i automatically go into empathization mode and say something to help them get their mind off it. this usually comes in the form of trash-talking the manager a little bit after he's left the room:giggle:.

i do feel like a tougher, more resilient person than most non-social phobics. but i've taken a lot of damage in my life. mental scars from all the anxiety attacks. that sh*t never goes away, therapy or not, it's always there.
 
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BlueWeepingRose

Well-known member
Tougher. I don't think it's made me tougher. It's just made me realize more things about myself. For example I'm a introvert, before I really tried to be around people. Even a lot of people but in the end I felt really uncomfortable.

I can only handle a few people at a time and for the longest time I remember people trying to tell me that something was wrong with me. I know I have problems sure, but being in a room with a crowd of people who I don't even know is very uncomfortable for me. In the end I just came with a solution in my head that not everyone will understand how I feel. Even if I tried to explain it to them.
 
vj288

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
SA has given me an opportunity to become a better/tougher person, I wouldn't say it just made me one though (or that I am one at all). Everything being so hard for me, it forces me to cope with situations, and how I cope with them is what influences how tough or "good" I am. If I let it win and just rot away in my room, and let my thoughts be negative and feel sorry for myself, it doesn't make me tougher it weakens me to a pathetic state. If I rise to the occasion though, and even when it's hard and I fail constantly I still try, and want to be better and am forced to overcome things to get there, it makes me a better person.
 
Esperance

Esperance

Well-known member
Nothing good for me. I mean, probably that trying to overcomes our fears is something that should make us tougher but we are just trying to do what everybody can do. For me, it's worse. More the time goes on, the more I am afraid of other people, the more it is hard for me to be social.
 
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SomethingKeen

Member
If by tougher you mean "numb" I guess you could say that. But that whole emotional thing I've never really had a good understanding of anyway (I don't empathize well with others). I'm sure many people see me as cold and remorseless, the whole "life goes on" attitude. I've certainly been through plenty of emotional trauma but I would definitely say that being an 'observer' and a loner has had an effect on how I filter my feelings. Like was already said, I'm capable of seeing things more subjectively.
 
X

xSleepy

Well-known member
Definitely not. Not feeling in control of my anxiety and not feeling in control of my life has made me anything but tuff. It's just made me feel insecure and pathetic. Maybe one day when I actually make some progress, then who knows, maybe I will surprise myself and turn out to be a bad bitch who doesn't gaf.
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
Not tougher at all.
Only a sad, angry, despairing, envious, defeated, weak and broken person actually. :kickingmyself:
 
theoutsider

theoutsider

Well-known member
xSleepy said:
Definitely not. Not feeling in control of my anxiety and not feeling in control of my life has made me anything but tuff. It's just made me feel insecure and pathetic. Maybe one day when I actually make some progress, then who knows, maybe I will surprise myself and turn out to be a bad bitch who doesn't gaf.
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Trust me, that is nothing to aspire to. The world is full of too many of those already. Better to hope to turn out to be a well rounded person who still cares despite whatever hardships you have had to endure.
 
Yarrow

Yarrow

Well-known member
I dunno. I think I was never a tough person in the first place, and I learned to compensate.
 
mikebird

mikebird

Banned
It's made me timid as well, depending on each situation

I have a good neutral balance inside when I'm alone

but spurring a aggressive, outrageous outburst doesn't pay off

The only alternative is to be silent, spending all my time calculating other people's motives, having plenty of criticism ready
 
razzle dazzle rose

razzle dazzle rose

Well-known member
SA has made me a really scared person. The opposite of tough! But I can handle more than I give myself credit for. I do like to make this distinction though: anything that is good in my life, that I have done, overcome, learned, etc. that is me, not my SA.
 
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