Getting over a girl

freestylemonster

freestylemonster

Banned
My first girlfriend ever dumped me just over a month ago. Sometimes I'm okay and sometimes I'm not. Right now I'm really not. I miss her so much and I just want her back! Getting over her would be a hell of a lot easier if I knew other girls but I don't.

Anybody have any tips for getting over lost love?

:(
 
Mr.Moon

Mr.Moon

Well-known member
I still remember my first breakup. Gotta be honest, the first breakups never easy. I don't think any are really. Don't think you wanna go running back to her right away, trust me. 6 months ago I was dumped by a gal I was with 2 1/2 years and it hit me pretty hard. I'm over it now though, but it took a little while.
Just remember, you will be okay.

This is what I usually try to do. Try pre-occupying yourself with stuff you like to do. Whatever it may be, hobby's you like to do for instance. Keep a friend nearby if ya can to, even if its just one, male or female. It'll help when you have somebody to talk to about random junk.
For me, I'd try to keep at least 1 friend nearby, chatting to online or off and usually go out casually or play games.

Time heals all wounds. Good luck buddy, you can get through this I'm sure.
 
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RolloTomasi

RolloTomasi

Active member
freestylemonster said:
My first girlfriend ever dumped me just over a month ago. Sometimes I'm okay and sometimes I'm not. Right now I'm really not. I miss her so much and I just want her back! Getting over her would be a hell of a lot easier if I knew other girls but I don't.

Anybody have any tips for getting over lost love?

:(
Click to expand...

It's really just a "one day at a time" kind of thing. The best thing to do is let yourself feel like crap for a little while. Trying to get over someone is a mistake. You have to let yourself feel in order to get over it. That's the grieving process.

Once you're passed the worst of it, keep yourself busy enough so you won't think about them. If you have a job, work a little overtime. If you have a hobby you enjoy, dive right into it on your free time. Hang in there and try not to wallow in self pity for too long. It always hurts, but time heals all wounds(as cliche as it sounds, it's true).
 
jus

jus

Well-known member
This is kinda sad (im a loser sort of way) but... i want out with a girl for about 3 years, towards the end I didnt actualy like spending time with her and was just going through the motions seeing her every weekend.

Anyways the sad/loser part is I still think about her... 8 years later...
Allthough its partly because she calls me every 6 months or so grrrr.
Then when I dont answer to try ignore/forget about her she texts me asking if i hate her, then I feel guilty and call her back :p

damn females (cept the ones of this site, your all cool)


My advice... this is kinda shallow or whatever the word is, Do things to improve your life and make yourself feel better, exercise or something, make heaps of money etc etc. Join up to a dating site to meet girls, nothing wounds heals faster then being with other girls =)
 
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A

AGR

Well-known member
What I really think is that its easier to think of the good times and good things,try to focus on the defects,you will see she is just another person,in my opinion.
 
lunarla

lunarla

Well-known member
Feel it and then leave it alone. Write down what you may want to say to her, but for the love of god, DON'T send/tell it to her. Not right now anyway. If it's going to happen, it will. But for now, let it be. Work on yourself. Think about things with a wider/more-in-depth view.
 
BDDgirl

BDDgirl

Well-known member
At times like this all the old cliches ring true, time is the greatest healer, move on.... etc. Find solace in freinds and family, try and get out more, in six months time you will feel in a much better place and maybe be ready to meet someone new, don't jump into anything to fill a gap though, it will make the pain far worse.
 
JamesSmith

JamesSmith

Well-known member
I've had one relationship before and it ended after only a month and a half. She broke up with me claiming that we were different. She was right, we were different, I was shy and she was a big talker. I'm not mad about it, she's a nice girl. At the time, it was so painful. But it is what it is, it takes two people to make a relationship, and if one doesn't want it, then it's over. I moved on and now I never think about it anymore really. I agree with people in this thread, time heals wounds.
 
F

Feathers

Well-known member
Write a few miserable country songs about it? :D

In a few days, the holidays will be over & there won't be such pressure to 'be with someone you love'... or such. So it will get easier. Until February, ha ha.. Then, you can find an 'Anti-Valentine's' concert or cabaret to go to? (or stand-up comedy show?) Or just an internet group of people who hate Valentine's, or such? (Okay, you're here on this forum already, probably plenty of support here around that time too... :)) Then you're safe until 'International Women's Day' which is in March :) Basically, try to fill your time with other stuff...

Fill your weekends and such days with interesting or odd things, find out what's happening in your town... Open up to new experiences, hang out with cousins or other relatives/friends who are still single or have recently gotten single too... go for trips, go hiking, visit friends in other cities... theatre, festivals, seminars... volunteer or get involved in the community... start a band or theatre group? :D

Also, go out with your male friends, or meet new single people - both men and women? Like BDDgirl said, it's better to not 'jump into something' right now until you get over her, it's okay to meet people and go partying/dancing or sign up for a new course of knitting/massage/cooking and such...

Time does heal all wounds. Sometimes 'no contact' can work best indeed, some people manage to do okay with staying friends too... You may also find interest in books about relationships, dating, communication, to see which mistakes not to do next time or such. Or what to look for in a potential partner.

jus, it's okay to tell a girl you want no contact from her (or change your phone number). You can tell her it's hurting you too bad and if she's a true friend, she'll understand. (She'll be insulted at first maybe, but she'll get over it.)
 
Sinar_Matahari

Sinar_Matahari

Well-known member
I found that this comes with time. Wait it out. Also, it helps to not dwell on this. I know it's difficult to do, but you have to chase away thoughts of her right as they begin to form.

I agree with Adrox as well, but then if you really like or love someone, it's hard to dislike them for their negative traits because you liked them despite their flaws in the first place. I've tried pointing out "negative" things about people I've liked only to realize that those negative things did nothing to deter my interest. Reasonably, of course.
 
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fitftw

fitftw

Well-known member
my last breakup a year ago was terrible. She threatened to get the cops involved if I didn't stop texting/IMing her. It took me 2 or 3 months to fully stop sending a futile text every week or two. It sucks dude, it really does. You think there will be nobody else as good, but there will be. There hasn't been for me yet, but at this point I don't even care anymore.
 
ZachMusician

ZachMusician

Member
Oh man, I'm really sorry to hear about that. It really is a bummer having been dumped, or breaking off a relationship. I was there about a year and a half ago, and for a while it pretty much drove me to a pretty dark place. But I agree with what others have said, time will heal it, even if it doesn't seem like it at first. Also think of something you absolutely LOVE doing, (example: a hobby, reading, running, writing, playing basketball, building model airplanes) and just pour yourself into that hobby. After a while you'll realize how productive you are being, and that might soften the blow. And it's also VERY productive to be optimistic about the situation (something that I struggle with myself) and remind yourself that there are literally billions of people living on this earth, and that things do happen for a reason and someone really special that may be a better fit will eventually come your way... or eat a lot of ice cream, and General Tsao's Chicken until the whole thing blows over (what you really shouldn't do haha). Whichever seems easier.
 
freestylemonster

freestylemonster

Banned
Thanks for the support, guys. I was following your advice and doing really well. I went snowboarding this weekend and had the time of my life - without her :)

But then today I found out she has a new boyfriend sooo it kinda brought me down a bit :( Oh well, time will heal me!
 
freestylemonster

freestylemonster

Banned
fitftw said:
my last breakup a year ago was terrible. She threatened to get the cops involved if I didn't stop texting/IMing her. It took me 2 or 3 months to fully stop sending a futile text every week or two. It sucks dude, it really does. You think there will be nobody else as good, but there will be. There hasn't been for me yet, but at this point I don't even care anymore.
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I was actually doing this too lol she was starting to get really annoyed and started insulting me and stuff....So I'm trying veeeeeery hard not to text her lol (2 weeks without talking to her :D)
 
Felgen

Felgen

Well-known member
You're probably going through a hard time, but if someone has loved you, then someone can love you again. :)
 
Mr.Moon

Mr.Moon

Well-known member
freestylemonster said:
So I'm trying veeeeeery hard not to text her lol (2 weeks without talking to her :D)
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You should delete her number from your cell and throw away her number if ya wrote it down, if that's a problem.

Especially if she got with another guy only a week later. That shows your a better person than her already.
 
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