feeling relaxed around people...?!

[Falkor]

hey,

when im alone, sitting in my room, nobody around..
Just sitting at my laptop, watching some tv, playing guitar, i could even dance in my room.. Nobody sees it lol... I feel confident, no stress, i can just be me.
Be relaxed, and no anxiety at all.
But when I face myself to the real world, FACING PEOPLE.
in a social situation..
I feel anxiety because people look at me, because they can focus on me, and I'm afraid i'll act like a fool, being anxious and uncomfortable.
And i'm afraid they'll notice.
How can we actually do this in real life? facing people?
this shows that we can actually feel relaxed with no anxiety ALONE.
but how can we feel this way WITH SOME PEOPLE AROUND?
There must be a way.. right??
:/

 

[kihira]

Whoa! you've suddenly gone colour

This may seem a crazy idea, but I can't help thinking that a half way point between your confidence in front of a camera and your anxiety in front of people would be to perform in front of people wearing a costume or a mask or the like.

Could you imagine acting before an audience in costume or a bear suit??

 

[ilmatross]

Whoa! you've suddenly gone colour

This may seem a crazy idea, but I can't help thinking that a half way point between your confidence in front of a camera and your anxiety in front of people would be to perform in front of people wearing a costume or a mask or the like.

Could you imagine acting before an audience in costume or a bear suit??

i now want a bear suit regardless

just to wear to the store / around the house. how cool would that be

I don't have anything to add to this thread besides my new found desire for a bearsuit

 

[Falkor]

i now want a bear suit regardless

just to wear to the store / around the house. how cool would that be

I don't have anything to add to this thread besides my new found desire for a bearsuit

haha, a bearsuit would be awesome to hide.. But we should feel good with our own skin! I wish we could...
Just feel good around people, not anxious at all, relaxed...

 

[Feathers]

Hey Saskia,

It was much easier for me to dance at dorm parties, where there was lots of people (but not too much, I preferred the small/er/ish ones not big mass events), and always a crush.. You sort of 'get lost' among people, and it's good if you have friends there so you feel safer, and can talk to people inbetween.. You can dance with others in a group.. and after a certain time most everyone was drunk (except me lol and perhaps a friend or two) and nobody cares how you dance or what you do lol.. Especially if the lights are a bit dimmed..
And yeah, wearing a mask like at Carnival could be fun too.. you can become someone else and just be in that role..

If you are talking about performing on stage, everyone has jitters before that.. And it helps to do it a lot of times so it becomes routine.. And if you have friends there to cheer you on... (Lots of tips for performers online too..)

It may also help to go without glasses lol (if you wear them), so everything might be a pleasant blur, ha ha.. Or just try to see the world and people in 'unfocus'... Or try to see them as a 'sea' of people with some friendly faces in it..?

 

[kihira]

Or just try to see the world and people in 'unfocus'...

I actually do that in social situations, unfocus a bit so that I'm less conscious of being looked at.

 

[Falkor]

Hey Saskia,

It was much easier for me to dance at dorm parties, where there was lots of people (but not too much, I preferred the small/er/ish ones not big mass events), and always a crush.. You sort of 'get lost' among people, and it's good if you have friends there so you feel safer, and can talk to people inbetween.. You can dance with others in a group.. and after a certain time most everyone was drunk (except me lol and perhaps a friend or two) and nobody cares how you dance or what you do lol.. Especially if the lights are a bit dimmed..
And yeah, wearing a mask like at Carnival could be fun too.. you can become someone else and just be in that role..

If you are talking about performing on stage, everyone has jitters before that.. And it helps to do it a lot of times so it becomes routine.. And if you have friends there to cheer you on... (Lots of tips for performers online too..)

It may also help to go without glasses lol (if you wear them), so everything might be a pleasant blur, ha ha.. Or just try to see the world and people in 'unfocus'... Or try to see them as a 'sea' of people with some friendly faces in it..?

I should wear dirty glasses then , no.. I don't wear glasses, but that's a great idea for people who need glasses!
Maybe I should wear sunglasses! Sunglasses really help me, but sometimes people say things like ''Hey the sun is not shining, why are you wearing that?!'' -.-

Haha, maybe I should go dancing in a group, maybe i can shake the Social Anxiety off.. xD, because it's my fear to dance in a group, and maybe i will overcome sa if i would do that!! but the truth is, that i dont have the courage to try that!! But I could start with something else.. I'm planning to join a social club, or something like that

But maybe ''TRYING the most difficult steps.....'' Would help me , to feel better sooner.. Because it will help us experience that we can actually DO those things.. But still it's hard x_X

Thnx for the tips, feathers!! =D

 

[Pacific_Loner]

I think the key is to just stop caring about what people think...
And in fact I think you did an incredibly big step in that direction by putting videos of you on youtube...
By the way you're really talented, I hope you know that.

 

[EasySkanking]

Try to realize that if you do do something embarassing, it isn't that bad. If people think you are stupid, ugly or boring - it is no big deal either. I'm not afraid of those things at all. (When I am able to be relaxed and face these fears of being seen as boring/ugly/stupid and my fears actually happen, it does not hurt me, I do not care that much what other people think - I don't think you do either.

What is causing the problem is our anxiety - it distorts everything. It makes us believe that being embarassed by looking stupid/ugly/boring is scary (because it was as a defenseless child) - but it is not (as rational aware adults, we can cope with it just fine). Don't underestimate your ability to cope

Oh and I just want to say that I really like your over-all happy/upbeat personality - you are very brave to post videos on youtube . I agree with Pacific Loner, I think you have a lot of talent (that you're obviously proud of ). Good for you! :-D