Feeling nothing when helping other people

[Silentknight]

I don't know if this may just be me but I don't get any happiness from helping others I still help as many people as I can but I do it because I want to not because it makes me feel good because in all honesty I feel nothing when I help others like just a few days ago when I was interning at an emergency department and I went out of my way to help this woman get warm blankets cause she was cold and after helping her and hearing her say thank you I felt nothing no good feeling or satisfaction that I helped this woman. Could this be a part of my SA or is it a sign of some other problem?

 

[EscapeArtist]

I don't know much about this one but schizoid?

 

[Seasons]

I felt nothing no good feeling or satisfaction that I helped this woman.

Would you feel bad if you wouldn't help knowing that you could though?

Sometimes something similar happens to me. I help but just because it's the natural thing to do at the moment, not because I'm looking for some kind of reward, even an inner one. Even if I just help an old lady with the groceries out of the bus or something she then is very thankful but it doesn't make any difference for me, I just go away and don't give it a second thought.
I just think that in certain situations helping someone doesn't really make me a better person. But I guess that not helping would have a negative effect on how I would feel.

 

[punklove]

I don't think it has to do with SA. Maybe you just don't realize how much your help meant to that person and your not truly convinced that you helped them in any way.

 

[Aussie_Lad]

I think it depends on why you are helping them. If you are doing it out of a sense of obligation then you will never feel good about it, this isn't to say that you shouldn't help in this sceario, but just realise that you won't feel pleasure from this approach. If you don't know that what you have done has helped the other person, then you may or may not feel anything from it. The feel good feeling comes from doing something out of pure unconditional love for others, and maybe, just maybe, getting some positive feedback on top of that.

 

[Confuseddd]

Thats all i want to do any more. i Want to become a psychologist and all my effort is going into that career wise. I could get into a huge thing and try explaining how passionate i am about this choice but i think i would just sound cliche and foolish. I love philosophy and psychology and i want to make a difference in someones life.

 

[Darryl]

Until your happy with yourself, you won't enjoy the gift of giving.

 

[lossoul]

I don't know if this may just be me but I don't get any happiness from helping others I still help as many people as I can but I do it because I want to not because it makes me feel good because in all honesty I feel nothing when I help others like just a few days ago when I was interning at an emergency department and I went out of my way to help this woman get warm blankets cause she was cold and after helping her and hearing her say thank you I felt nothing no good feeling or satisfaction that I helped this woman. Could this be a part of my SA or is it a sign of some other problem?

i think you're actually healthier than most people. because people should do good deeds not because it makes them feel good, but because it's the right thing to do. good job.

 

[hopelives]

I don't know if this may just be me but I don't get any happiness from helping others I still help as many people as I can but I do it because I want to not because it makes me feel good because in all honesty I feel nothing when I help others like just a few days ago when I was interning at an emergency department and I went out of my way to help this woman get warm blankets cause she was cold and after helping her and hearing her say thank you I felt nothing no good feeling or satisfaction that I helped this woman. Could this be a part of my SA or is it a sign of some other problem?

I know what you're talking about, I've been through the same situations and what I figured out was this. Perhaps we don't acknowledge the thanks we get after helping them? Maybe the woman said thanks to you and because of SA you didn't smile for fear of being embarrassed? Maybe you thought it's not a big deal to help someone get a blanket, so in your mind you just said ok, move on now. I think we repress any chance of expressing our feelings because of our mindset. And with continued repression, it becomes a habit not to feel the happiness. Maybe next time you can try smiling genuinely when someone says thanks to you? I don't know, it might work you know. It's great that you help people this way in spite of having SA. I can't even think of doing something like this in public places!

 

[Kinetik]

Well, SA can make you self-absorbed in the sense that you're so preoccupied with your own well-being and mental state that you have a diminished capacity for being selfless. I always had the sneaking suspicion that I was a pretty selfish guy, but I figured I would become more giving as I got older - I was wrong. Understand though, it has nothing to do with you as a person. At the core, you're a regular, helpful, loving individual. It's just that we're in survival mode much more often than the average Joe, and that makes us look out for number one first and foremost. Not necessarily a bad thing, it just means we can't always give as much as we'd like.