Fear of age, time speeding up

[adios]

Hi.
I know there are mostly young people here, but maybe is someone else scared of growing, of the number his last birthday...
I feel like there is only just about 10 years to live. After ten years I'll be old man ... no matter what the other ppl say about the best years, the man in the best years of life. I feel like I wasted all my life and I'm sick of it. Can't catch it anymore.

The other thing ... which is related with this... I feel like the time is speeding and speeding up. One day means nothing for me now. Nor even week or months. Las few years just disappeared. Nobody believes me. Every time I try do something through the day, I feel I am losing time only ... doing not important things only. Every time anyone call me to help with something (they only call if they need something - help or repair), I clearly see that another day is lost. And day after is lost to coz I have planed another useless thing.

I feel I should leave this place. But dunno where to go (tried few times, didn't work). And... the first thing....I'm already old man...

(sorry, I don't speak well english, but hope you can understand)

 

[lily]

Hi.
I know there are mostly young people here, but maybe is someone else scared of growing, of the number his last birthday...
I feel like there is only just about 10 years to live. After ten years I'll be old man ... no matter what the other ppl say about the best years, the man in the best years of life. I feel like I wasted all my life and I'm sick of it. Can't catch it anymore.

The other thing ... which is related with this... I feel like the time is speeding and speeding up. One day means nothing for me now. Nor even week or months. Las few years just disappeared. Nobody believes me. Every time I try do something through the day, I feel I am losing time only ... doing not important things only. Every time anyone call me to help with something (they only call if they need something - help or repair), I clearly see that another day is lost. And day after is lost to coz I have planed another useless thing.

I feel I should leave this place. But dunno where to go (tried few times, didn't work). And... the first thing....I'm already old man...

(sorry, I don't speak well english, but hope you can understand)

Hi, i can understand your English. i don't feel that the day is speeding up but i feel bored/lonely so i need nice people around and a more active forum or to still come to this one once in a while. yes i feel that i have lost time or level of enjoyment definitely w/ my condition but I'm still dealing w/ it now and getting help. I'd say you can still enjoy eating and drinking your favorite foods and drinks and i'll pray for you that you can get on a journey of getting well.

 

[LoyalXenite]

I dont fear aging, but I hate being my age and not having achieved what others my age have. Which is mainly because of my mental health and general history having held me back. So when I see my age its not a feeling of "Im getting old or running out of time" but an "god I'm wasting my life or I should be doing this or that by now, or have done this or that"

 

[FountainandFairfax]

I think a lot of us feel this way.

I'm 42 now and I haven't realized any of my dreams, in fact I've let them all go. The meager goals I've now set for myself include things that are so mundane that they don't even bear mentioning.

I basically just want to get through life in one piece at this point. No wife, no kids, no nice house. Just a job that won't kill me and enough money to support myself.

 

[LoyalXenite]

I think a lot of us feel this way.

I'm 42 now and I haven't realized any of my dreams, in fact I've let them all go. The meager goals I've now set for myself include things that are so mundane that they don't even bear mentioning.

I basically just want to get through life in one piece at this point. No wife, no kids, no nice house. Just a job that won't kill me and enough money to support myself.

I'm outta thanks so giving you this instead :thumbup: :bigsmile: . I definitely relate to just trying to get though in one piece, pretty sure thats the best I could hope for in life too

 

[BlueDays]

I think a lot of us feel this way.

I'm 42 now and I haven't realized any of my dreams, in fact I've let them all go. The meager goals I've now set for myself include things that are so mundane that they don't even bear mentioning.

I basically just want to get through life in one piece at this point. No wife, no kids, no nice house. Just a job that won't kill me and enough money to support myself.

Any goal a person sets for themselves is worthwhile, because it is worthwhile to that person, that is all that matters, imo.
I don't believe that goals have to be spectacular to be of value.

"Just a job that won't kill me and enough money to support myself" - This goal you that you have atm, is the exact same one I have!

 

[BlueDays]

I dont fear aging, but I hate being my age and not having achieved what others my age have. Which is mainly because of my mental health and general history having held me back. So when I see my age its not a feeling of "Im getting old or running out of time" but an "god I'm wasting my life or I should be doing this or that by now, or have done this or that"

I also don't fear aging. The fact that I don't, makes me feel abnormal.
You don't have to worry so much LoyalXenite, because you are still young enough to achieve the things you want to in your life. With modern medicines etc people can safely live until their 80's now.
Apart from producing kids (as that is biologically age related) you still have years and years to achieve the things you wish to, LoyalXenite!
Has someone in real life mentioned that you are "wasting" your life? I know it's easier said than done, but try and not let anyone else put pressure on you, according to what society says you should have achieved by now.

 

[lily]

I also don't fear aging. The fact that I don't, makes me feel abnormal.
You don't have to worry so much LoyalXenite, because you are still young enough to achieve the things you want to in your life. With modern medicines etc people can safely live until their 80's now.
Apart from producing kids (as that is biologically age related) you still have years and years to achieve the things you wish to, LoyalXenite!
Has someone in real life mentioned that you are "wasting" your life? I know it's easier said than done, but try and not let anyone else put pressure on you, according to what society says you should have achieved by now.

agreed .................

 

[LoyalXenite]

Apart from producing kids (as that is biologically age related) you still have years and years to achieve the things you wish to, LoyalXenite!
Has someone in real life mentioned that you are "wasting" your life? I know it's easier said than done, but try and not let anyone else put pressure on you, according to what society says you should have achieved by now.

I cant have kids anyway so aging wont change the odds of that (not that I plan on having children anyway). I know I have time, but it just feels like Im never moving forward in life (coz everything always ends up going wrong and I stay stuck in the poverty cycle and things never actually come out the way I need them to).

I have actually been told by people I'm wasting my life. A few actually, some say it because my anxiety means I stay home alone most of the time when Im not at uni or at d&d, some say it coz Im 28 and a mature age student who is doing an impractical arts degree.. :idontknow:

 

[Kiwong]

I understand how you feel Adios. I had a stroke in June. I faced my mortality straight in the face. You think how many years do I have left? Better get started on all the dreams I have.

 

[grapevine]

Im going to bump this thread.

Im 38 and facing 40. I feel the same that i havent achieved anything near like others my age have due to illness over the years. And now my dreams of having a child and a partner seem like a never when they always used to be a maybe.

 

[FountainandFairfax]

 

[Hoth]

Im going to bump this thread.

Im 38 and facing 40. I feel the same that i havent achieved anything near like others my age have due to illness over the years. And now my dreams of having a child and a partner seem like a never when they always used to be a maybe.

I'm a month and a half from 40 and haven't done much with my life (no partner, few friends, poor, never been anywhere, etc). I waste a lot of energy [especially this year with 40 looming] worrying about getting old. But the only place worth living is the present. All the good days happen when you block out past and future and just focus on what you're doing at this moment.

 

[GettingThere]

There are a couple of things to unpack in this thread. Firstly it is normal to feel that time is somehow moving faster. Apparently Psychologists can explain this phenomenon which occurs. The second thing is the mention of giving up on dreams. We MUST have dreams because dreams are like fuel for our lives - without them we cannot operate. So we must dream even if it means setting new goals or readjusting old ones. All the while we must draw enjoyment from the positive things which occur in the moment everyday such as good food and drinks, movies and tv shows and achievements no matter how small they may be. As for age, I am now 62 and mirrors are not my friends. But I find that while we seem to lose some things we also gain in other ways so that there is a kind of balance to the ageing process.

 

[Miserum]

Yup, I fear it. We have so little time as conscious beings. Imagine all of the time that came before your existence, and all of the time that will come after it. Now imagine your measly, infinitesimally small, 60-100 orbits around our sun. It's nothing compared to the unfathomable, infinite extent of universal time.

I fear for what will become of my ant-like existence, but I am not without hope. I try not to, in my thirties, waste as much time as I used to prior to this point in time... because I realize how little of it I actually have. Some of that wasted time (defined as a lot of time focusing on superficial needs and avoidance of anything truly difficult) was fun, but most of it was extremely unproductive in terms of spiritual and intellectual attainment, if you don't count suffering as a means to an existential breakthrough. And most of that time was simply... misguided. Sometimes I wonder if I'd come to any of the realizations I've come to, if I didn't suffer immensely.

As it stands, I'm trying not to waste any more time, and am of the opinion that you can improve your situation if you work to clarify all of the fucked-up issues that plague you. And then you take a series of confused yet courageous steps to unfuck yourself.

Of course, some people have so many responsibilities (like parenting 3 kids, for example), that they have no time to reflect on their lives. So they can do little about their situation if they are unhappy. I guess I'm pretty lucky in that sense because, well... it's just me, myself, and I. However, even with such a busy parental (or other busy) life, I think reflection can be done. It's just that priorities may need to be switched around.

In your case, it's ten years until you are an "old man." I think you can do a hell of a lot in ten years. I think anyone can do a hell of a lot in ten years. And honestly, I think you're giving age too much credit. You can still make something of your life past the age of 50.

Importantly, I also think perspective can change quite a bit over time, if you allow it to change.

 

[grapevine]

I find this topic so difficult for myself. It can be a cause for distress and depression for me when i think about it as im approaching middle age and so on. I think its so important to be mindful and to almost sort of give up on ideals in stages or ages of your life. For what has been that is. And to also try to give up on any pressures for the future. Its good to have realistic goals and not goals drenched in fear and anxiety.

For me, I just cant even go there much when i think about my approaching age and missing out on things because of my illness and so on. You should never beat yourself up and be unkind to yourself. Rather, drench yourself in compassion and take each day as a free opportunity to find the good spots in life where you can grow and vizualise even if its just concentrating on just one thing you enjoy or have goals in.