Exposure not making any difference
- Thread starter recluse
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NickyNacker
Well-known member
I feel the exact same
Enialis227
Well-known member
Just exposure to anxious situations is not sufficient, you need to practice applying cognitive techniques.
You probably need to talk to psychologist to see what types of things you can work on using.
People who say exposure therapy is the answer for anyone with SA don't know what they are talking about. For some yes I am sure it is the answer, but for some it absolutely isn't.
It depends what is triggering your anxieties and fears. i.e. if it is that you are self conscious about a part or parts of yourself which makes you anxious when people see that part(s) of you then exposure therapy could never ever make you overcome your anxiety/fear. You would need to work at changing the way you think about the part of you that you are self conscious about - believing its not bad or something to be ashamed of, to develop confidence in that part of yourself and yourself in general.
What is triggering your fear/anxiety around people?
Flowers-Of-Bloom
Well-known member
If it is not getting better, then perhaps you're preventing it from getting worse. From experience I know that getting less and less exposure to social interaction (due to avoidance) will cause the condition to get worse until you can barely do what you can do now. So, yeah. Don't stop now, whatever you do.
kayelle
1
I know what you mean, it's hard to know the difference between them until you actually do exposure therapy and you realise how different it is! But the key difference is one is just exposure, and one is exposure therapy.
Here's a list from The Anxiety and Phobia workbook. It gives you lists of situations to aim for as examples, and you also have to make your own. For example, if you wanted to eventually go to a party, you would make a list with ten situations on it, ranging from easy at 1 to the hardest, going to the party, at 10. Then you would start with the easiest situation and once you're comfortable with that, you go on to number 2, and keep doing that until you're comfortable, and then go on to number 3, and so on. If you break a difficult thing up into 10 easier steps, it will be SO much easier. But you have to work at it every day, there's no point doing something once or twice a week!
Here's the example, this one's for crowds:
(1) with a partner, approach a small store with a few people inside
(2) with a partner nearby, remain in the small store for 2 to 5 minutes
(3) approach and enter a small store alone for 5 to 10 minutes
(4) with your partner, approach a busier store and remain for 1 to 5 minutes
(5) approach a crowded store alone, or with a partner waiting in the car, and remain nearby for 5 to 10 minutes
(6) with a partner, approach a large shopping centre and go inside and out for 5 to 15 minutes
(7) approach and enter a large shopping centre and browse for 5 to 15 minutes, with a partner then alone
(8) approach and enter a large department store in a shopping mall and browse for 5 to 15 minutes, with a partner then alone
(9) attend a small sporting event, party, or concert with a partner
(10) attend a larger sporting event, party, or concert with your partner and then try steps 9 and 10 alone
Honestly, this method WORKS. Step 10 always seems impossible, but when you build it up, you can do it, and you'll get closer and closer to that goal! And it's really easy to make your own lists, just think of something you'd love to do and then think of easy things related to that and build it up to that goal. Then start doing it! I can put up one of the lists I made myself and am doing if you like? If anyone's interested! Sorry I hope I'm not rambling on...
Scrabbl
1
I'd like to see your list.
recluse
Well-known member
Thanks Kayelle. I think in my present situation i am up to number 8 in the list, parties, concerts etc where there are crowds of people compacted together gives me a feeling of panic. I have travelled to places alone but i hate having a lot of people around me without much space to move, and escape.
kayelle
1
Cool! Well I suppose it's a thing that's unique to each person, because I made lists with things that I would find the hardest at the top, but those things might be different for everyone else.
So these are exercises my therapist gave me as part of my exposure therapy. First I did out a list of short, medium and long-term goals, for example a short-term goal was to get a taxi to my boyfriend's house, and a long-term goal is to move out and to go abroad for a holiday. But I was taking a year out from college so one of my main goals was to be well enough to get back to there, so I did a list for that. One of the worst things for me was to study in the library or to give a presentation, so here's the list I came up with:
(1) Drive around college with someone in the evening (so it would be quiet)
(2) Drive around college with someone during the day (so it would be busy)
(3) Go for a walk in the college with someone in the evening
(4) Go for a walk in the college with someone during the day
(5) repeat 3 and 4 alone
(6) Go for a coffee in the college canteen with someone
(7) Repeat step 6 alone or without a car outside
(8) Sit in on a lecture in a small lecture hall
(9) Sit in on a lecture in a big lecture hall
(10) Sit on the inside of a row in a lecture so I couldn't run out easily
(11) Go to a lecture and then a coffee in college
(12) Spend the day in college
(13) Study on the ground floor, 1st floor and then 2nd floor of the library
(14) Give a presentation
Ok, I was pretty badly agoraphobic so my first steps are pretty 'easy' ones, but they were hard for me! Some of the things I still find hard, like sitting on the inside of a row in lectures and study on the higher floors in the library, but I've given two presentations in the last month, I try and go to my lectures every day and talk to my classmates, and I finished and submitted a thesis last December
Scrabbl
1
I've given two presentations in the last month, I try and go to my lectures every day and talk to my classmates, and I finished and submitted a thesis last December
That's awesome!
Now that stuff on your list is pretty easy for me.. but I don't have agoraphobia. I guess we all deal with different problems.
Here's the stuff I'm trying to work on so far, starting this week.
everyday I will:
- greet / say bye to at least 1 coworker
- sit in front of the shuttle if possible - no pressure to chat with driver
- make an extra effort to intiate smalltalk with a friend
kayelle
1
Yay! Thats awesome, I'm sure you'll do brilliant!
Yeah, the social phobia isn't too bad for me, it was the agoraphobia that I was struggling with, so the things on your list wouldn't be too hard for me, it's funny how that is! So many different things for us to get anxious about ::