I actually don´t think this way. I need some exposure in order to live at least a bit and to earn some money, or see the places I want to see.. I will never stop being shy but I will never be anybody else and noone else will to this for me, so I have to do it with the resources I have, with the body and brain I have.. I am not forcing myself into exposure but given the things I want to do , I inevitably come across social situations.
Unfortunately, I allways feel so horrible talking to people, it´s strange, I like it on one side because they are interesting or like what we´re talking about, on the other side the awkwardness with the eye contact etc., is very tiring and draining and I feel so ashamed of myself, of my presence, that makes me avoid people... When I am like this, I would like to see but not be seen.. There is still the line between wanting to come and show that I am interested in them and care, and between feeling like it´s rude of me to honour them with my presence. Then if some people say they like me, I don´t believe them, I think they are kidding and feel embarassed about it. And of course, many people don´t like me, sometimes straight away. I am lucky though that to me it doesn´t matter too much what people think, I am used to low key life and living lonely, so I don´t have anything to loose.
But still it´s kind of sad, if I didn´t have this, I would be into every adventure. If I can´t live full life, isn´t it better not to live at all?