Ever Tried to talk to people about your problems

[Honda]

I have several people around me that I dont want to alienate by talking to them or asking for their opinion about my problems.. I feel like exploding sometimes because my family doesnt understand me..

There is alot of confident acquaintances and people I know that I wish to get an input from as I believe they could give me an advice or two.. Though Im worried they wont understand me or get a negative impression or even try to take advantage of the fact im being honest with them..

Anybody ever discussed their phobia or anxiety with others?

 

[Necrucifer]

I have tried with people who brought it up and asked me whats wrong but I have had a couple people say mean things afterwards saying I need to stop putting my problems on others and try making it seem like I did something wrong when they wanted me to tell them what is wrong with me.

I have had some people also actually listen and try to help to it does to an extent and also have had people not care what I was saying at all or just blaming it on me saying its my fault and I need to man up? It's not that easy so some people understand some dont. That's like telling someone with suicidal issues to go kill themselves which is not a smart thing to do and stupid.

If I did not have anything wrong with me and its my fault I am shaking and sweating in public and feel nauscious well then that means there must be something wrong with me because I am scared of people. I am afraid to tell people I actually know my problems because of running them off you know?

Now as for family members only my household and a couple of my relatives know I actually have a problem and there supportive my dad isnt and he does not care. My mom is but she forgets so much to take me to the hospital for an appointment I have to resort to taking my dads depression meds which are to strong for him and to strong for me because they work all day but make me dizzy and sleepy.

I know its wrong to take someone elses meds but I dont do it unless I start to feel like I want to just drop off the face of the world. If your family or friends that you can actually count on and trust 100% go ahead and speak with them about it if it makes you feel better but if you have any doubts telling a specific person probably shouldnt until your 100% sure you can tell them and think they wont just dismiss you.

 

[Ms Cloud]

Ever Tried to talk to [normal] people about your problems?

Yes. It always backfires. They can't possibly understand, so they just write me off as a colossal bore and not worth getting to know. That happened to me (again) recently and I've been very upset about it.

 

[Necrucifer]

Yes. It always backfires. They can't possibly understand, so they just write me off as a colossal bore and not worth getting to know. That happened to me (again) recently and I've been very upset about it.

Wanna cry together? I've had the same happen recently to haha...sorry not funny but hope that makes you feel a bit better hope you're having a good morning though at least.

 

[Ms Cloud]

Wanna cry together? I've had the same happen recently to haha...sorry not funny but hope that makes you feel a bit better hope you're having a good morning though at least.

You're such a sweetie. Yup, I'm sure it's a familiar pattern for many of us. You can send me a PM if you want to get some of this out of your system. I'll listen.

 

[this_portrait]

Yeah. Not that it did much good when I tried talking about it with most people, though. Most of them don't get it, and they never will. The sad part of it all is that some of them were people I thought I could rely on to be there for me.

 

[SonicMan]

Wow I feel so lucky. I have recently been open about my issues with my group of friends and they have been really nice about it. Even if some of them don't really understand they have still listened and been supportive. They are such good friends.

 

[lurknomore]

When I talk about it to the "normal" people around me (mostly family members), they don't get it at all. They say things like "You're too smart for that," or "You'll grow out of it," and "Just do things" etc. Part of the problem is that I can't just make myself do things, and at 32, things are getting worse, not better, so I don't think I'll just grow out of it. ::

 

[Graeme1988]

I've made many attempts to talk with my family (mainly my mother and oldest sister) about my problems, my social anxiety in particular. But they're always quick to laugh it off and tell me "I'm just shy".

Unless I actually get some therapy - CBT would probably be the ideal option - I don't see things gettting any better for me. But even the idea of therapy is dismissed by my mum as a waste of time.

 

[brainfog]

friends....i have talked with a few close ones, one for the most part tell me to just be myself, but the problem is, i fear i AM being myself, which is me being anxious and self conscious, and so focused on makng a good impression i ge tawkward, the other says he understands, says it could also result from being in a town where you don't know anyone (which is my case )

 

[Honda]

Well sitting alone wont get me anywhere, you need to talk to people with more social skills and experience as to better understand how to cope with your problems.. But I feel that the scenario is as follows:

They dont understand you and they find it weird awkward or unusual, that's how many people are. And nobody ever believe the idea that you can survive on your own, its some new-age bull**** theory god knows who invented it..
People need to have someone they can lean on when they are down and low.. Unfortunately I feel that people including myself are somehow scared of revealing any kind of weakness to others fearing that other could use it against ourselves..

 

[RedMonkey]

Tried a couple time before. Like talking to foreign tourist. I give up. I have talk to my ex-GF too. She ask me what is that Social anxiety disorder? I give up. Answer lies in Google. Better keep it a secret now.

 

[upndwn]

I probably am a bit to open about my problems, which has a tendency to scare people away. A few has been pretty understanding and easy to talk with though. I tend to joke about it with friends because I don't want them to feel sorry for me, but most of my closest friends know about my condition.

 

[mart22n]

I have a lot of experience telling people about it. All I can say is - nobody is going to give you much new and spectacular advice. It's mostly along the lines of "Don't give a damn what other people think of you." And that still is the best advice there is, I believe. DO NOT make a problem out of your anxiety. Your mission is to start feeling more and more comfortable in your skin. You have to SLOWLY AND STEADILY crawl out of your anxiety-hole. If you stop crawling for a while, you'll slide back down as time goes by.

Make things that make you feel good about yourself. I for example tell about my anxiety to most new people whom I want to know better, by just saying: "Icebreaker! Look me in the eyes!" They then look. Then I say "Hey, I'm not afraid to look you in the eyes!" I'll then explain that eye contact is essential to communication and when I say out loud that I'm not afraid of eye contact with the person, I really have no major eye contact problems with that person any more. Then I also mention I have minor social anxiety (yes, it's now minor but it used to be major - I would always get tense in any social situation, be it with my mom or anyone else).

And then -pronto!- I've told that person about the two things I'm most ashamed of, and as there's a lot less shame, there's a lot more fun!

My advice - if you feel ashamed of your anxiety, TELL PEOPLE! If you feel ashamed of anything else, TELL PEOPLE! Be god damn stubborn, rebel against the society's norms and you'll achieve success!