Does your weight affect your self worth and how social you are around people?

[voodoochild16]

my height bothered me first then the weight after. i was 205 and i lost 35 37 pounds cause if i measured myself i was a mere 5.7.2. I decided I was going look up how to get taller. I took height tablets for 6 months and I actually gained about a inch and a 1/2 which is huge. I felt better about myself after that. Even though i took something for it when i get up and measure myself it will say 5'8.7

It definitely makes a difference to be taller, but I've never heard of taking something to become taller, that's cool. If I was shorter at about your height, I would look a bit more overweight, so I am glad to be at 6"2.

 

[hidwell]

Me being overweight doesn't help my low self esteem but even if I was relatively trim I would still have my social anxiety my reactive depression and crap skin.

 

[Marc7]

My anxiety is alot like yours but my weight prevents me from reaching my fullest potential of conversing with people and having no problem with doing it (with some anxiety still involved).

So with me feeling overweight now, I feel like "I don't want to be social, I just want to avoid", instead of if I was skinny "I am confident with myself and feel a bit of anxiety but I can do this".

Well, like everyone has their own opinions and most therapists have not gone through SA themselves, the instinct way of their thinking is that if someone feels less of themselves because of their weight, that therapist is to tell them to "get over it", as that is possible with some outgoing people, that's just looked at as someone really letting themselves down all for something that they just want and would "only would be nice" to be.

But for me, all my life of going from SA from the age of 14. It's always been my weight holding me back. 170 lbs was nice, but I still wasn't all there. I forgot to mention that when I reached 170 lbs, I did lose even more weight and got down to 156. But I was starving myself again, and not working out completely. I was very happy there and felt more confident. So I have been there, and have felt the confidence. It's just I got to get there with a healthier way of working out, and a plan to stay there and to maintain it.

Why do you feel not social with being overweight?

What do you mean it is looked at as someone really letting themselves down all for something that they just want and would "only would be nice" to be?

So you got SA at 14 right? So your 156 right now then? Idk how people maintain their weight.

 

[voodoochild16]

Why do you feel not social with being overweight?

What do you mean it is looked at as someone really letting themselves down all for something that they just want and would "only would be nice" to be?

So you got SA at 14 right? So your 156 right now then? Idk how people maintain their weight.

I mean that "outgoing" people tend to want to be thin and when they let themselves down, that is something they can overcome, and so therapists look at it as "letting themselves down". Where for us it's a more permanent, and serious issue that can only be fixued by CBT or actually losing the weight.

I mentioned frequently the "was" word, so basically I "was" 156 at a time, and it "was" nice. But I didn't maintain it, and I only got there by starving myself. People maintain their weight (if they have an addiction to food like us) by motivation in eating better foods and exercising frequently. There is also CBT for changing the way you think towards your eating habits, but that takes alot of work and is best done with a therapist who knows what he or she is doing with the patient.

 

[Marc7]

I mean that "outgoing" people tend to want to be thin and when they let themselves down, that is something they can overcome, and so therapists look at it as "letting themselves down". Where for us it's a more permanent, and serious issue that can only be fixued by CBT or actually losing the weight.

I mentioned frequently the "was" word, so basically I "was" 156 at a time, and it "was" nice. But I didn't maintain it, and I only got there by starving myself. People maintain their weight (if they have an addiction to food like us) by motivation in eating better foods and exercising frequently. There is also CBT for changing the way you think towards your eating habits, but that takes alot of work and is best done with a therapist who knows what he or she is doing with the patient.

By letting themselves down you mean gaining weight? CBT means cognitive therapy or something like that right?

I don't think I have a addiction to food although my appetite increased I think because of my medication I take. But I think I have high blood pressure and cholesterol so I watch my sodium and cholesterol except for foods I don't know its sodium and cholesterol (I know that's bad but I would have to look up some foods I eat and I lack motivation). But what about people without a food addiction how do they maintain their weight? Oh and is that OA or just a therapist that does that?

 

[Kiwong]

My big head can be a problem walking through doorways. Weighs a tonne.

 

[GraybeardGhost]

My big head can be a problem walking through doorways. Weighs a tonne.

I used to have the same problem back in my marching band days. Try walking into a door frame when you're wearing a sousaphone. Got my clock cleaned more than once.

 

[Kiwong]

I used to have the same problem back in my marching band days. Try walking into a door frame when you're wearing a sousaphone. Got my clock cleaned more than once.

Ouch that would hurt.

 

[Shali]

I get that all the time as well as people coming up front and telling me I am fat. It sickens me and it's what drives me to do stupid stuff.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

I get that all the time as well as people coming up front and telling me I am fat. It sickens me and it's what drives me to do stupid stuff.

Try not to pay any attention to them. I know it's hard.

 

[AGR]

definitely,when I was lighter my body looked really good,I could see my abs,besides I rarely got tired,now I am a mess.

 

[voodoochild16]

definitely,when I was lighter my body looked really good,I could see my abs,besides I rarely got tired,now I am a mess.

At 156 my abs were very clear, but not muscular, just a normal skinny look.

By letting themselves down you mean gaining weight? CBT means cognitive therapy or something like that right?

I don't think I have a addiction to food although my appetite increased I think because of my medication I take. But I think I have high blood pressure and cholesterol so I watch my sodium and cholesterol except for foods I don't know its sodium and cholesterol (I know that's bad but I would have to look up some foods I eat and I lack motivation). But what about people without a food addiction how do they maintain their weight? Oh and is that OA or just a therapist that does that?

Well, by letting themselves down by already being slightly overweight and continuing to gain weight if it is a problem. But I think they can accept their weight and still be outgoing, where like I said for us it's more of a permanent feeling to be completely dissatisfied and to feel self conscious of ourselves because of that weight. Yeah, CBT is "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy".

The way people without food addictions maintain there weight is by their natural way of thinking. For men I know that are slim, they just get "full" sooner because in their heads the feel "full", which is not going by the taste of the food but just by feeling like their no hungry any more. For us (I am assuming us), it's by the taste of the food, and that also we can take in more even if we are already full. It's mainly an addiction to the taste of the food for me though. I have found books and cd's that help you create new thinking habits to help you "believe" your full when you've eaten a sufficient amount of food.

I get that all the time as well as people coming up front and telling me I am fat. It sickens me and it's what drives me to do stupid stuff.

I am suprised people do that to you, I guess that's in high school though. I got the comments like that in high school too.

Try not to pay any attention to them. I know it's hard.

I tried not to pay attention too, but it got to me too much all the time.

 

[A Many Splendored Thing]

I've been 224lb for awhile now. I definitely want to lose it and am trying several different methods atm.

I wouldn't say the weight affects my confidence too much. Unless I'm doing something that really draws attention to my weight. My body likes putting fat in my chest, so I get manboobs much faster than average. I've been teased about that before.

I think I'll keep a weight loss journal in my signature and see how that goes.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

I've been 224lb for awhile now. I definitely want to lose it and am trying several different methods atm.

I wouldn't say the weight affects my confidence too much. Unless I'm doing something that really draws attention to my weight. My body likes putting fat in my chest, so I get manboobs much faster than average. I've been teased about that before.

I think I'll keep a weight loss journal in my signature and see how that goes.

To lose weight you have to change your life style. Include at least 2 servings of vegetables and 2 servings of fruit in your diet (even if you're full and pigged out on junk food). That will give you much needed nutrition and feel you up more.

 

[Marc7]

Well, by letting themselves down by already being slightly overweight and continuing to gain weight if it is a problem. But I think they can accept their weight and still be outgoing, where like I said for us it's more of a permanent feeling to be completely dissatisfied and to feel self conscious of ourselves because of that weight. Yeah, CBT is "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy".

The way people without food addictions maintain there weight is by their natural way of thinking. For men I know that are slim, they just get "full" sooner because in their heads the feel "full", which is not going by the taste of the food but just by feeling like their no hungry any more. For us (I am assuming us), it's by the taste of the food, and that also we can take in more even if we are already full. It's mainly an addiction to the taste of the food for me though. I have found books and cd's that help you create new thinking habits to help you "believe" your full when you've eaten a sufficient amount of food.

Oh and what does CBT( I know it means Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) mean?

Oh and why do you have an addiction to the taste of food? You know where I can find those books and cds?

 

[voodoochild16]

Yea that is irrational and now I get you now. Sorry but you didn't answer when I said what diet and what workouts do I need to do to loose weight?

Oh I did talk about this earlier but I'll get into it again. I honestly can say what ever you can do to get yourself sweating, which cardio is the most persistent thing I can do once I have done enough of lifting weights (using the machines, free weights in front of the mirror, anything that you find interesting at the gym). I tested myself with some actual "organized" workouts with a friend once, and another time with another friend. It's just too boring to me, and I know it has benefits but if I can *keep things simple* and just workout, then at least I am doing something.

Going for a long run outside is great because if you run to a certain location and back for 30 minutes, you keep going because you have to get there. Where on the treadmill, it's just you running no where, and it tells you when you have reached a certain distance, and you can stop anytime, it's just not the same as running outside.

Try to stay away from running in the woods, or if you do go with a friend. Running in a neighborhood that you don't know many people is nice for the social anxiety, where as running in a neighborhood where you know lots of people will prevent you from running in that same place over and over again as you fear seeing people you know (at least i do).

So just get in that gym, set the timer for like an hour for the first day, and do some workouts (anything like I mentioned above). And the fastest way to lose weight is just to workout 2 hours a day for many weeks while staying away from pop or beer completely, drinking lots of water, and just staying away from any fatty foods. Consume lots of calcium (it prevents calories from being absorbed in your stomach) and also eat lots of protein foods to keep you fuller, longer. Also eat lots of soup (it takes your stomach longer to digest soup in the stomach, so you stay fuller, longer). Dedicate your life to it and you will get there. Look at a BMI chart and choose what your goal of weight is:
Calculate Your BMI - Standard BMI Calculator

(also bear in mind that sometimes BMI charts are bullshit sometimes, because I know guys my age at 6"2 that are 140 lbs and the lowest weight of my scale is 150).

And also make a plan on how your going to maintain your weight (you can't lose the weight and go back to the same old fat-loaded foods, but you can eat an ice cream cone once in awhile).

Oh and what does CBT( I know it means Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) mean?

Wait, I feel a bit lost. Do you want to loose weight? Or you feel like you must, but people say you don't need to?

Oh and why do you have an addiction to the taste of food? You know where I can find those books and cds?

I have an addiction to food because my mother does (I think) and I think I inherited her eating habits. She thinks the same way towards eating food, so I don't hate her for that but I dislike having it as an addiction.

CBT is: "a type of psychotherapy in which negative patterns of thought about the self and the world are challenged in order to alter unwanted behavior patterns or treat mood disorders such as depression."

Definitely, I am going to start losing weight soon, I just got to clear my fridge of beer and other crap. I hate to throw it out if you know what I mean.

The books and CD's are really only for the motivated (I have motivation but it only goes so far) and I bought a book, and a book of CD's, and didn't stick to the routine. The best you can do probably is to find the CD I am talking about
(search on Google for "Beck Diet Solution Torrent") and listen to all the tracks over and over again on a daily basis. It will get annoying but that will be the best way to reinforce the good habits of thinking like a thin person so that you can replace those thoughts that are like "omg that ice cream was so damn good now I am going to the store to buy 3 more buckets", with "alright im good from here now I am going to play some Risk with grandpa".

If you search for "eating habits CBT" on Amazon, you'll find alot of stuff, but since I am really bad at getting into books I just stick to the CD's. Hope that helps, ask anything else.

I'd say that one of the primary reasons I am losing weight is to build the confidence enough to be able to approach the opposite sex, and eventually get into some sort of relationship. The confidence just isn't there right now and I know a guy who basically tried dating while slightly overweight and had not much success, so he just lost 20 lbs and had lots of confidence, and it all went uphill from there.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

It does. But now, I'm close to my ideal weight. I feel good.

 

[voodoochild16]

It does. But now, I'm close to my ideal weight. I feel good.

That's what I mean, for those who don't understand.