Does your weight affect your self worth and how social you are around people?

[voodoochild16]

Hey all, I am just wondering if anyone here that feels that they are obese, and have people tell you all the time that you look fine, but deep inside you still feel like you are overweight and that you dont feel like being social because of it?.

Anyone skinny that is reading this, won't get it, you seriously have to be fat with SA to know what im talking about. Any ways, post your responses on what you guys think and in the mean time, I'm posting a poll about it to see what a fair amount of statistics show.

 

[Klonoa]

Yes, I absolutely hated and despised myself for it. I lost 10 KGs (22 LBs) in 2 months and I feel much, MUCH better and secure about myself after it, I really enjoy how I even look younger than I actually am (people thinking I'm 17 or 18!) and my face isn't ugly/old, but a more youthful "pretty boy" kinda face.


I know it'll sound super selfish and egoist, but I feel loosing weight was the best choice of my life.

I also now move way faster and react faster in boxing too! The bad part is that I get faster because I'm still getting used to my "new" slim body.

 

[Marc7]

It doesn't affect me socially but it makes me self conscious and worried that people are going to talk about me. Also it makes me anxious going to places where people are not overweight or chubby. Also I get anxious, conscious, and worried for my family member that people are going to talk about that person too. It affects my self worth because I'm thinking to myself in my head that people who maintain their weight or loss weight are better than me.

 

[Hellhound]

I'm not introverted because of my weight, but yes, I do despise how much I weight. I want to be as skinny as humanely possible.

 

[voodoochild16]

Yes, I absolutely hated and despised myself for it. I lost 10 KGs (22 LBs) in 2 months and I feel much, MUCH better and secure about myself after it, I really enjoy how I even look younger than I actually am (people thinking I'm 17 or 18!) and my face isn't ugly/old, but a more youthful "pretty boy" kinda face.


I know it'll sound super selfish and egoist, but I feel loosing weight was the best choice of my life.

I also now move way faster and react faster in boxing too! The bad part is that I get faster because I'm still getting used to my "new" slim body.

Thanks Klonoa for stating what you said, because there is no cure for this from what I have read, and really the only way to get over it is to either get used to it and accept it (which I couldn't do and don't think most people going through the same thing can do it), or lose the weight and get it done.

Seeing someone about it is only going to get you remarks like "what are you talking about?, you look fine". Or "are you out of your mind?". No one has ever understood what I meant except the ones going through it.

It doesn't affect me socially but it makes me self conscious and worried that people are going to talk about me. Also it makes me anxious going to places where people are not overweight or chubby. Also I get anxious, conscious, and worried for my family member that people are going to talk about that person too. It affects my self worth because I'm thinking to myself in my head that people who maintain their weight or loss weight are better than me.

Ittalk, the self conscious feeling your talking about is exactly the same thing, that's a combination of the main feeling. Any ways, everything you mentioned, I feel the same way bro. So now my conclusion is just to lose the weight.

Any one else suffer from this?, drop us a line in this thread about your experience with it.

 

[Marc7]

Ittalk, the self conscious feeling your talking about is exactly the same thing, that's a combination of the main feeling. Any ways, everything you mentioned, I feel the same way bro. So now my conclusion is just to lose the weight.

What main feeling are you talking about? You also feel that feeling for other people. I know I have to loose wait but I have no motivation to do anything though :sad:.

 

[Kiwong]

I haven't been overweight for about 13 years.

It's funny that my family reckons I looked healthy when I was overweight.

And that I needed to put on some weight when I was in my twenties and fitter than I have ever been.

 

[Steiner]

Sure to a point. It's not what prevents me from socializing to people though since I am not super fat or anything, riding around in a scooter.

 

[lurknomore]

I'm not really sure how to respond. I've been overweight much of my life but after I had my son (10 years ago) the depression that plagued me since adolescence was just magically gone (like I was experiencing reverse post-partum). I changed my diet, started exercising a bit (just walking most every day), and I ended up losing about 50 pounds or so. I'd say my self confidence was higher, I got myself back into college and ended up leaving my husband at the time, but I think all of those things happened because I was feeling better, not the other way around. And even when I was thin, although I was accomplishing things, I don't think my social anxiety was any better, I still didn't talk to people or socialize.

 

[voodoochild16]

How about just nice and healthy, mate? Skinny as humanely possible? Niether attractive OR healthy.

Right, but he could of meant just skinny at 145 lbs and 6"2.

What main feeling are you talking about? You also feel that feeling for other people. I know I have to loose wait but I have no motivation to do anything though :sad:.

Just being extremely self conscious about yourself because you feel fat, and this is only when around people. It just makes me want to avoid everyone and everything even more, and not even be social, and all that goes on in my head is that "I just want to lose the weight then everything will be fine".

But I know that is irrational, I can't wait that long, and I must function now so that I can live. It's just an ongoing struggle, I've never been able to turn it off.

Oh and as for motivation, I hear you dude, it's definitely extremely difficult to motivate yourself to lose weight. The best thing you can do is think about how bad you want it, and realize what it takes is 2 hours per day of working out for a few weeks, on a good solid diet of healthy food, and no over eating, and no cheating. Then you will lose weight fast and in a healthy kind of way, always take a day off every 3 days to let your body rest, and don't give up, it takes life dedication, and if you could never do it all i still wouldn't blame you.

I'm not really sure how to respond. I've been overweight much of my life but after I had my son (10 years ago) the depression that plagued me since adolescence was just magically gone (like I was experiencing reverse post-partum). I changed my diet, started exercising a bit (just walking most every day), and I ended up losing about 50 pounds or so. I'd say my self confidence was higher, I got myself back into college and ended up leaving my husband at the time, but I think all of those things happened because I was feeling better, not the other way around. And even when I was thin, although I was accomplishing things, I don't think my social anxiety was any better, I still didn't talk to people or socialize.

Well I guess it may not apply to all people suffering from social anxiety who are overweight. But there is a huge majority of people out there that think like this, like the people on this thread. It's either you have gone through it and understand, or it's hard to explain cus you may look at any of us and tell us we look fine, but it's not any one elses opinion, its our own. Even if someone tells me i look skinny, i just wont believe them.

 

[Marc7]

Just being extremely self conscious about yourself because you feel fat, and this is only when around people. It just makes me want to avoid everyone and everything even more, and not even be social, and all that goes on in my head is that "I just want to lose the weight then everything will be fine".

But I know that is irrational, I can't wait that long, and I must function now so that I can live. It's just an ongoing struggle, I've never been able to turn it off.

Oh and as for motivation, I hear you dude, it's definitely extremely difficult to motivate yourself to lose weight. The best thing you can do is think about how bad you want it, and realize what it takes is 2 hours per day of working out for a few weeks, on a good solid diet of healthy food, and no over eating, and no cheating. Then you will lose weight fast and in a healthy kind of way, always take a day off every 3 days to let your body rest, and don't give up, it takes life dedication, and if you could never do it all i still wouldn't blame you.

Well I get the thought of if I loose weight then I won't be judged anymore.

What is irrational?

The problem is I don't what diet to go on and what exercise to do. Also I know I have to loose weight but I can't get myself to do it.

 

[MollyBeGood]

Yep. For me if I gain a few pounds my self worth goes waay down. Conversely, if I loose weight, I feel amazing and really confident.

 

[singing-love]

This is something that i struggle with as well, but as many people have written there are so many different options that i struggle and i also lack the motivation.

I understand how you fell about weight making it harder to interact socially in makes me very self conscious when i am around others.

 

[voodoochild16]

Well I get the thought of if I loose weight then I won't be judged anymore.

What is irrational?

The problem is I don't what diet to go on and what exercise to do. Also I know I have to loose weight but I can't get myself to do it.

It's irrational for me to say to myself that I can't be social and feel good about myself, and have a positive self worth feeling about myself until I lose weight, because that takes weeks, so being a deadbeat until I lose weight is simply, irrational, not anything that you said, just the way I have thought about it in the past.

Yep. For me if I gain a few pounds my self worth goes waay down. Conversely, if I loose weight, I feel amazing and really confident.

Yeah, totally, I always thought like this and still do. I think people without SA have confidence issues too because of obesity. The problem is we have too much food around us now a days, and we no longer have to hunt to eat. So there is no struggle to find food.

This is something that i struggle with as well, but as many people have written there are so many different options that i struggle and i also lack the motivation.

I understand how you fell about weight making it harder to interact socially in makes me very self conscious when i am around others.

The motivation is definitely a hard thing to come by. The way it goes on in my head is that I am an "all or nothing" kind of guy. Either I work on it everyday, until it's done, or I can't do it at all.

 

[singing-love]

The motivation is definitely a hard thing to come by. The way it goes on in my head is that I am an "all or nothing" kind of guy. Either I work on it everyday, until it's done, or I can't do it at all.

I know exactly what you mean, I am the same.

 

[nicole1]

I voted yes here. There are other things that impacts whether or not I'm social, my weight just happens to be one of them. Sometimes I avoid going out so that people I know don't see how much weight I've gained. It makes me uncomfortable being around others because I feel bad about my looks.

 

[Marc7]

It's irrational for me to say to myself that I can't be social and feel good about myself, and have a positive self worth feeling about myself until I lose weight, because that takes weeks, so being a deadbeat until I lose weight is simply, irrational, not anything that you said, just the way I have thought about it in the past.

Yea that is irrational and now I get you now. Sorry but you didn't answer when I said what diet and what workouts do I need to do to loose weight?

 

[Klonoa]

Thanks Klonoa for stating what you said, because there is no cure for this from what I have read, and really the only way to get over it is to either get used to it and accept it (which I couldn't do and don't think most people going through the same thing can do it), or lose the weight and get it done.

Seeing someone about it is only going to get you remarks like "what are you talking about?, you look fine". Or "are you out of your mind?". No one has ever understood what I meant except the ones going through it.

Wait, I feel a bit lost. Do you want to loose weight? Or you feel like you must, but people say you don't need to?

 

[anuskas]

I´m slim and I´m SP but I believe that being slim helps a bit with the social anxiety. I already have many problems now but If I get fat I´ll have another one.

 

[migthymask]

Of course that overweight mixed with SA affects more than if someone is thin, it is because society has a kind of people that is accepted, but I know people with obesity like 150kg o more and they are happy, have a family, children, friends, go out parties, and Im an average guy and I feel so bad, no social skills, and it makes me feel so bad