Does anyone suffer with Selective Mutism?

[Jodie-Tyler]

Doctors say that it usually starts with shyness as a child as we first go into pre-school/nursery and then primary school.
But all young children go through shyness.

However, if the shyness stayed right up until the late years of primary school, going into high school/secondary school makes it worse.
And then one develops social anxiety and from that may come selective mutism.

They say that's what happens in most cases, but we all know that every persons story is different.

I've had social anxiety all my life, I'm 18 now, and I avoid any socialising when possible. I dont go out, only for work, and I only work because I need the money. People thought that working would help get over my SA, but it only made it worse, and I'm so close to becoming completely mute. I hate talking, I hate using my voice. People at work think I'm rude and anti-social. My parents think I have an attitude because I never talk, just stay in my room all the time.

Is there anyone who has selective mutism, or has gone through it, and could shed some advice?

 

[Jodie-Tyler]

- I guess not LOL.....
I'll try Worldwide forums.

 

[SonicMan]

That sounds similar to how I used to be when I was 18. I was never completely mute but I used to be very quiet and hide away in my room all day. I try to do more sociallising now and talk more, but it has taken many years to get to this stage. My only advice is to do what you enjoy and just keep trying.

 

[planemo]

Pretty much any situation in which I was uncomfortable would stop me from talking and for someone in my family (relatives included) not to be very talkative is virtually unheard of. I was called various names by different people...

"The man of little words" being one, although I was just a youngster.

I developed selective mutism from very early on, and I almost never spoke in school unless it was with a friend.

 

[Hoppy]

I saw this on yahoo, found it really interesting, wish I had heard about it sooner.

 

[mikebird]

I can tell you that an opposite of this plays a big part of my condition, especially in work, as well as social situations.

I am not a good listener, because my own mind goes round in circles - I am a thinker - creative, more than doing what I'm told.

In meetings, or presentations, I think I have a short attention span, but not because I'm bored; I am interested, but as soon as someone talks about something new - the whole point of these meetings, I get thinking about what I'd do, once I hear it - so I don't pay attention, and this is terrible.

I usually approach the speaker afterwards, offering my own thoughts, ideas and suggestions, and they get confused and can't understand me. Isn't it OK to have your own ideas to offer?

 

[vj288]

I've looked into Selective mutism before, I'm not sure if I fit the bill perfectly but I definitely relate to some of the symptoms. I know in middle school, high school, there were situations where I was completely unable to say any words. I don't remember it happening much before middle school, so and since selective mutism is mostly effects (And starts) in early childhood I was put off by it. But in middle school and earlier high school there were also situations were I would not shut up. "A Mime on break" is how I thought of it, from a comic strip in which a mime talked a large amount to make up for all the silence.

But since then, my my ability to socialize has leveled out among the different situations. It's not completely level, there are some situations in which I really struggle to squeak out a few words, and others where I can speak paragraphs comfortably, but for the most part now I'm semi-mute in all situations. It hasn't gotten better with age, people stopped trying to talk to me and I stopped trying to talk to people as much. And there are specific topics in which I cannot talk about, so when they are brought up I go silent, and only speak when spoken to.

And in many situations I speak without saying anything, if that makes sense. Like I just agree, or say I don't know. It's mute in a sense I think, but not technically as I am saying words. The only advice I have is that if you do want to talk, make yourself talk. And if you're talking to people who know you, you may get some resistance as they're not used to it, but be okay with that. They'll get used to it.

 

[vexatiousmind]

^ I do this too, not very often anymore.
Its so hard to try to explain to someone how I just can't speak. I just can't.

I also get up and walk off in the middle of a conversation. I don't even realize that I'm doing it, until after I already left. It sucks, and it pissed people off. I need to pay more attention to myself I guess.

 

[*eMmCaM*]

Doctors say that it usually starts with shyness as a child as we first go into pre-school/nursery and then primary school.
But all young children go through shyness.

However, if the shyness stayed right up until the late years of primary school, going into high school/secondary school makes it worse.
And then one develops social anxiety and from that may come selective mutism.

They say that's what happens in most cases, but we all know that every persons story is different.

I've had social anxiety all my life, I'm 18 now, and I avoid any socialising when possible. I dont go out, only for work, and I only work because I need the money. People thought that working would help get over my SA, but it only made it worse, and I'm so close to becoming completely mute. I hate talking, I hate using my voice. People at work think I'm rude and anti-social. My parents think I have an attitude because I never talk, just stay in my room all the time.

Is there anyone who has selective mutism, or has gone through it, and could shed some advice?

i do>>but ONLY AROUND MALES lol that sux

 

[Pastafarian London Girl]

Definitely. I've always been scared to speak out in case I make a mistake, no one hears me or no one's interested. People used to think I was unintelligent when I was in school because I wouldn't speak out when I knew the answer to something. They were often shocked to see that I wrote well.

I'm in college now and I'm having to learn that I have to speak out in order to do presentations, and it's difficult for me to overcome my anxiety. People often mistake me for being rude because I find it hard to talk to people I don't know well.

 

[Luke1993]

Well I'm not sure if I qualify for having selective mutism but I probably only say a few words a day on average. I'm sad to hear that getting a job didn't help you get over your problems, I've been looking for any job in the hope I'll overcome mine.

 

[I'm Breaking down]

No, I don't suffer from Selective mutism. However, after learning about it some time ago, I am starved for more infomation about it.

 

[Roman Legion]

@OP: Sounds all too familiar.. I don't talk to anybody outside the family, but I prefer not talking at all at home either.. I stay in my room all the time and only leave it when I have to. I literally can't get the words out and I can't make eye contact.. I also feel incredibly uncomfortable around anyone not family..

 

[Roman Legion]

Yes I suffer from selective mutism and I was diagnosed with it as well. I was prescribed medication and currently seeing a therapist. Paul McCartney - She's Given Up Talking - YouTube

Who did you see to get diagnosed and how did they do it? Did it cost a lot? How did you/ do you deal with an interaction you know you HAVE to do, but know you will have a hard time handling the interation? I have to meet a college counselor tomorrow and I'm not sure I can handle it.. What would you suggest?

 

[Silatuyok]

I've never been diagnosed, but I suspect I might have it. One of the earliest memories I have of this is when I was about five years old, sitting at the dinner table with probably eight or nine other people. My mom had forgotten to give me a fork, so I sat there in my chair staring at my food, completely not knowing how to ask for a fork. Eventually someone noticed and helped me. I can think of at least a few other similar experiences from very early on.

To be honest, things are still the same for me today, but on an emotional level. I cannot speak when I am very upset, even if I know exactly which words I want to say. Or, if I don't know how to say something I need to say, I become very agitated and withdrawn. I've also experienced mutism with therapists, which makes the process much more difficult.

It's an interesting subject, albeit an unfortunate one.

 

[Roman Legion]

I've never been diagnosed, but I suspect I might have it. One of the earliest memories I have of this is when I was about five years old, sitting at the dinner table with probably eight or nine other people. My mom had forgotten to give me a fork, so I sat there in my chair staring at my food, completely not knowing how to ask for a fork. Eventually someone noticed and helped me. I can think of at least a few other similar experiences from very early on.

To be honest, things are still the same for me today, but on an emotional level. I cannot speak when I am very upset, even if I know exactly which words I want to say. Or, if I don't know how to say something I need to say, I become very agitated and withdrawn. I've also experienced mutism with therapists, which makes the process much more difficult.

It's an interesting subject, albeit an unfortunate one.

My father asked me to pick up something from Lowes on the way back from school for him.. I reluctantly did so.. I had no idea where this thing for the gutter was, so I walked around the store for like 2 hours trying to find it.. A normal person could have simply walked up to someone and asked, I couldn't do it, so I just walked and walked and searched everywhere for it until I found it.

 

[Silatuyok]

My father asked me to pick up something from Lowes on the way back from school for him.. I reluctantly did so.. I had no idea where this thing for the gutter was, so I walked around the store for like 2 hours trying to find it.. A normal person could have simply walked up to someone and asked, I couldn't do it, so I just walked and walked and searched everywhere for it until I found it.

Oh no!! I do that kind of thing too sometimes, though it depends on what kind of mood I'm in.

 

[MollyBeGood]

Yes I suffer from selective mutism and I was diagnosed with it as well. I was prescribed medication and currently seeing a therapist. Paul McCartney - She's Given Up Talking - YouTube

I have had this before-really bad when I was a little girl. Occasionally I will have it as an adult -it sucks like your mouth is glued shut and your body doesn't even work right...I think it's been over 10 yrs now since I had a spell of it and it was only for 30 mins or so..so for me it definitely went away with time.

that song really is great by Paul McCartney ty for posting!

 

[Gaucho]

mmhhh, i suffer from some characteristics of the definition. but it says that sufferers tend to have intelligence more then average lol. that sure doesn't hit with me.

 

[stevelee24]

Definitely. I've always been scared to speak out in case I make a mistake, no one hears me or no one's interested. People used to think I was unintelligent when I was in school because I wouldn't speak out when I knew the answer to something. They were often shocked to see that I wrote well.

I'm in college now and I'm having to learn that I have to speak out in order to do presentations, and it's difficult for me to overcome my anxiety. People often mistake me for being rude because I find it hard to talk to people I don't know well.

summed up my life right there