Does anyone else have NO friends?

[Geo]

Guys at your age with your same problems experience the exact same situation, except that guys couldnt get a girlfriend in that spot :/ lucky girls....

Yeah, I've noticed many girls on this forum that say they have no friends but still have a boyfriend. A good lover can be as good or better as a best friend and that would be good enough for me.

Other than the small circle of friends I've had in junior high and high school, I've never really had many friends. Since then, me and those same friends have drifted apart, leaving me with nothing. I did manage to become part of a new circle of friends about a year ago however. Unfortunately it all ended after one of the girls and myself decided to date. I broke up with her after a couple months and naturally it all went downhill after that.

Sounds just like me. I was part of a big circle of friends too and dated one of the girls. When we broke up, she and her close friends (like 5 of them) from the group pretty much packed up and left and now there's only like 3 of us left.

 

[angryguy]

I have no one in real life. It's been that way since I was about 13. My only friend moved away and I never met anyone else who wanted hang out.

i lost my only friend at 13 as well.. since then i had no friends ever again and im 20 now

 

[angryguy]

ive been depressed without friends all those years since i was 13. Ive always pushed people away and wanted to be alone all i did was play on my xbox and MMPORG games. now im 20 and i found out that i need to learn to get along with people and make friends to survive. and now nobody wants to be friends with a depressed lifeless boring person like me, whenever i try to make friends i hang out with them for a bit but i have nothing to say so bam they find out how boring i am and they just leave me by my self. I also dont have a job because its hard for people like myself to find one which is even more depressing because its making me skinny.

 

[MotherWolff]

From the looks of things, seems like everyone in this thread has no friends. I have friends online or should I say, "contacts." However, I have only one person that I sort of know in person. We aren't truly close friends though because we never see eachother and we hardly even speak to one another over the phone. Like many of you guys, I only had one or two friends growing up, but as I got older my friends moved to different schools and they probably forgotten me. When I was in high school a girl tried to befriend me until one day I just told her, "Leave me alone!" And she did.....Now, MotherWolff just has zero friends.

 

[OceanMist]

I've always wondered if there are other people out there who, like me, have absolutely no friends. I know that there must be, but I've never met any myself, or heard of any.

I last made friends in elementary school, back when girls would just walk up to me and say, "Want to be friends?" I didn't have to do anything. It was easy. Then in high school I stuck with the same four or five friends that I had met in elementary. But each of them ended up switching schools or moving, so I ended up entirely alone. For the entirety of grade 12 I had no one to talk to. I would just hide in the bathroom between classes, and in the back of the library at lunch hour. It was awful.

I'm in University now, and not much has changed. I don't even know how I would go about making friends. I talk to people during class sometimes, and my co-workers and I are always chatting and joking around, but nothing ever comes of it. VERY rarely (like twice a year, maybe) I'll go out for coffee or to a movie with a classmate or co-worker. And we remain friendly, but we're never FRIENDS. We're just acquaintances.

The only human interaction I have is with my boyfriend (I don't know why, but I've never been nervous around guys). Other than that...I'm utterly alone. If my boyfriend were to kick me out right now for some reason, I wouldn't have a single person to call for help.

This just makes me feel SO hopeless and alone, because even when I hear about people who are "loners" or "outcasts" they still have a core group of friends who they hang out with. They still have SOMEONE.

Can anyone else relate to this? Or does anyone have advice?

You think your situation is bad, look at mine:

I have no friends and then I don't even have a g/f. At least you have a b/f to lean on.

I can totally relate to the outcast thing you talked about. Yeah, even outcasts, loners and losers have at least a core group of friends they can hang out with.

I don't even know what to call myself? The loser who loses more than the losers?

 

[Lonelykitsune]

I guess I don't have any right now. The one guy I could honestly call a friend moved out of the apartments. That leaves the other tenants (pleasant but unknown), family and co-workers, none of whom I've gotten to really know yet.

There are more tails's out there lol.

Well I'm starting uni next week and I had a few chats but am nervous as hell. My old aquaintinces are moving away and one has stopped speaking to me for some reason.

 

[vermont]

well
in the last 20 years i have had only one friend (for two years), thats it.

 

[PhantomPod]

I don't have a single friend. I only had friends back when I was younger and we'd play games around the neighborhood. But ever since middle school I haven't had any friends. All through out high school I never had friends or any one at all that I'd hang out with outside of school. During high school I at least had a lot of online friends who I'd talk to everyday after school. Now I don't even have any online friends.

During college I never managed to make any friends and now that I'm graduated and in the working world I have my colleagues that I chat with sometimes, but we're not friends and we don't hang out outside of work.

I mainly just have my dog who is my best friend and I have my mom and dad who I'm pretty close with.

I don't even understand how to make friends. When I see some people who seem to be able to become great friends with everybody they encounter, I am just amazed. And I feel like an alien from another planet as I try to sit on the sidelines and observe how they interact with people and make friends.

 

[Kat]

I have made a few online depends where I go as well but I'm a bit lazy when it comes to friends some people draw to me but I'm fairly introverted which is a bit boring to outgoing people. I would like to spend more time in investing in hobbies maybe that will broaden m horizons with being able to connect with people.

 

[Nathália]

Bree, I'm the same way. Even when I put myself out there it is hard for me to make friends because I am too shy.

People have tried to talk to me, but it makes me incredibly nervous to talk back. I don't have any friends and I would like to meet people.

Even if I put myself out there I fear it wouldn't do any good because I become mute, I can't talk or my memory gets so bad, like I am new to the world. So I have nothing to talk about.

 

[vitalis]

Bree, I'm the same way. Even when I put myself out there it is hard for me to make friends because I am too shy.

People have tried to talk to me, but it makes me incredibly nervous to talk back. I don't have any friends and I would like to meet people.

Even if I put myself out there I fear it wouldn't do any good because I become mute, I can't talk or my memory gets so bad, like I am new to the world. So I have nothing to talk about.

I sympathize, but the worst thing we can do is to avoid this. The more we lock on ourselves the less skilled we become on it, and on and on, so even if we seem to have bad experiences or at least not successful ones we have to keep on trying.

 

[SourceCode]

I am working and I dont have any friends for past 3 years, I guess. All old friends are lost somewhere in this race. I am not good at communication and when I talk to people, I cant impress them. I had a girlfriend, but she broke up with me. She was the only person, I used to talk alot and used to share my feelings. I feel hopeless, lost and alone. Sometimes, I feel angry on myself, because I cant make friends or atleast not good at it.

 

[lithiumflower]

I have no friends offline. The last friend I had was about four to five years ago. I have a couple of online friends, but even have a very hard time making friends online.

I speak to my coworkers when I have a question or if they speak to me. I'm not really more than acquaintances with them though.

I just hate that when my coworkers do speak to me and ask what I did every single weekend, it's so awkward. I find myself making things up often to avoid being judged for not leaving my house at all.

 

[HappySquidward]

I have not had a friend since kindergarten. It was also strange that i never saw them at school. Afterwards I moved and only had acquaintances come and go throughout classes and semesters. I always looked forward towards going to school if there was someone who would talk to me. But most of the time I was just left alone.

 

[findingbeauty]

I used to have friends when I was part of a church. When I chose a different path, that brought a wedge, and then because of marriages and family I lost the rest. Sometimes I wish I had the same faith just so I could be part of community like that again, but I really have no interest in organized religion anymore (I really don't mind if other's do and am not writing this with any intention to offend ). I think that was the only time I really had friends and felt fulfilled in that area in my life ever - it was about a 7 year period. The rest of my life I've been horribly alone, awkward, and full of fear. Now I have a boyfriend (not always sure if it's secure), no friends, and no close family. I am grateful for my bf and think those who have a friend, bf/gf, and/or family should truly be grateful while hoping for more.

And JuiceB, I also have a mild speech impediment, which makes the whole thing that much harder. I talk very, very, very fast and I have a really hard time pronouncing things correctly because everything tumbles out of my mouth at once. Most of the time when I say something, people ask me to repeat it because they didn't understand. So when I'm in a group conversation, I'm always hesitant to say anything, because I never know when it will come out as a weird jumble of words, or a strange sound.

Like this morning my co-worker asked me how I was doing, and I replied with, "Meheyoukna" (or something ridiculous like that) and he gave me a funny look. We made a joke of it and laughed, but I don't always feel as comfortable about it with other people.

Bree, I can't say much for making friends, but when I was reading about what you described as a "mild speech impediment" it made me wonder if mindfulness-based meditation would help. I used to speak really loud and fast when nervous and I have trouble making eye-contact. I think that meditation has helped me to slow down/calm down in those situations. I still have trouble with eye contact more than anything, but I'm improving!

I just hate that when my coworkers do speak to me and ask what I did every single weekend, it's so awkward. I find myself making things up often to avoid being judged for not leaving my house at all.

I think this is exactly why many of us actually feel happier when we have less social contact and isolate. It's so painful to be reminded of what we don't have and be exposed to social pressure to have lots of friends and activities. I have a lot of privacy at my job now and don't have anyone asking questions or keeping tabs, so I feel much more peaceful - still lonely, but peaceful.

 

[1BlackSheep]

I just hate that when my coworkers do speak to me and ask what I did every single weekend, it's so awkward. I find myself making things up often to avoid being judged for not leaving my house at all.

I, too, hate that question!!! Most of my coworkers couldn't fathom wanting to stay at home on their days off. I'm quite the opposite! ::

 

[Flanscho]

I don't know...

When I finished school in Germany, and social service, and wanted to study, I decided to move away from my family. I wanted to be more independent. And so a person I knew well, who was living in another pretty large city, told me, that some close friends of hers share a flat, and there is space for one more. So I thought "what the heck" and moved in. Sometimes that was a bit stressful, but all in all it was nice, and I made friends that way. It's easier than when you live alone.

Earlier this year, after sharing that flat for 10 years, I moved out, and into my own flat. I moved into another part of town, closer to other people I know, and now I see them more often.

I sometimes do feel lonely, alienated, and wonder if I have any true friends. But from a logical point of view, I have them.

In the end, I think it depends on where you live. People in tiny villages of course have a harder time than those living in larger cities. But thanks to the internet, making friends is now easier too.

I have people who want me to join them on activities, who are happy when I'm there, and so on. But I've noone whom I could just phone and say "I feel ****ty, where are you? I need to talk".

 

[Gianluca1981]

I have just a friend who I don't see from 5 years, sometimes we call each other. I moved from Italy to London few months ago and I am all the time alone.
Now I am working in a restaurant and, fortunately, my colleagues are very friendly and helpful.

 

[JJB]

About three years ago I realised I didn't really enjoy having 'good' friends, I get why some people need them but it wasn't a case of me having no friends, it was more a case of me not really wanting any close friends. Maybe I'm not explaining it so well here, it's difficult to explain. Basically when I use to hang with friends I'd get irritated real fast and never really relate to them (for example they never understood my arthritis). I know I'm someone whose always preferred alone time, I'd much spend my spare time relaxing listening to music and either be writing, playing games or watching a film... if that makes me weird then I guess I'm a weirdo.

Some folks aren't destined to have many friends, don't think that's such a bad thing, some of us are happy with ourselves. Of course I hope one day to meet a good friend, but I'm in no rush. So don't worry so much about it, you'll find friends eventually.

 

[MotherWolff]

MotherWolff wonders if any of us are actually interested in making friends. If we are interested, shouldn't we make an effort to create friends? I haven't a clue how to make friends but all we can do is try. I know that there are many reading materials on making friends. I think that there should be a class for it too(well, I never heard of that).