Does anyone else have NO friends?

[Bree1989]

I've always wondered if there are other people out there who, like me, have absolutely no friends. I know that there must be, but I've never met any myself, or heard of any.

I last made friends in elementary school, back when girls would just walk up to me and say, "Want to be friends?" I didn't have to do anything. It was easy. Then in high school I stuck with the same four or five friends that I had met in elementary. But each of them ended up switching schools or moving, so I ended up entirely alone. For the entirety of grade 12 I had no one to talk to. I would just hide in the bathroom between classes, and in the back of the library at lunch hour. It was awful.

I'm in University now, and not much has changed. I don't even know how I would go about making friends. I talk to people during class sometimes, and my co-workers and I are always chatting and joking around, but nothing ever comes of it. VERY rarely (like twice a year, maybe) I'll go out for coffee or to a movie with a classmate or co-worker. And we remain friendly, but we're never FRIENDS. We're just acquaintances.

The only human interaction I have is with my boyfriend (I don't know why, but I've never been nervous around guys). Other than that...I'm utterly alone. If my boyfriend were to kick me out right now for some reason, I wouldn't have a single person to call for help.

This just makes me feel SO hopeless and alone, because even when I hear about people who are "loners" or "outcasts" they still have a core group of friends who they hang out with. They still have SOMEONE.

Can anyone else relate to this? Or does anyone have advice?

 

[Razzlecherry]

Yeah, I don't have any friends either. I did have two friends during High School, though, like you, they moved away. (I'm still in contact with one, but don't see much of a real relationship.)

Though, there was this one guy who I would hang around with at school and sit at lunch with, though I've never really felt comfortable around him. The only others I've ever associated with were friends of his.

I'm currently attending a University, just coming out of High School. The place is nice and the people are friendly, but not much is happening. They even had the entire weekend setup with events for people to meet each other, but nothing really happened for me. I've spent most of the weekend pinned in my dorm room.

It's not easy for me to be social, but boy am I trying. I've said hello and tried to strike up conversations with people. Something that is outside my comfort zone.

Though I'm hopeful that I'll make some friends when the classes actually start.

*Oh and hallo! I'm a new member of the forums! Nice to meet all of ya!

 

[JuiceB]

Welcome to the forum Bree and Razzlecherry.

I can relate. I haven't had any friends for many years now and it's difficult for me to interact with anyone new, especially since I stutter badly. When I was a teen I moved back and forth between Louisiana, Georgia, and Texas. I had a few friends (despite being awkward) but because I was always moving I'd lose contact with them.

I have also met people who were my friends once but pretended to not even know me or were not interested. It has happened a few times which showed me that friends don't always stay friends. Either that or they were never friends to begin with.

 

[Labyrinthine]

The only real interactions I have are with people online.

Offline, I don't have any friends. I grew apart from the ones I did have. Technically I know so many acquaintances that I chat to frequently, but we never make plans to do anything and I never tell them anything important going on with my life; basically it's all just a mask.

I wish I had some advice to give, but I'm still trying to figure it out myself. Currently I'm just trying the same methods as you are, and pushing myself outside of my comfort zone. It seems to be working slightly. A little improvement is better than no improvement, I figure.

Welcome to the forums, by the way!

 

[coyote]

Hi, Bree1989 and Razzlecherry. Welcome to the forum.

 

[Foxface]

I've always wondered if there are other people out there who, like me, have absolutely no friends. I know that there must be, but I've never met any myself, or heard of any.

I last made friends in elementary school, back when girls would just walk up to me and say, "Want to be friends?" I didn't have to do anything. It was easy. Then in high school I stuck with the same four or five friends that I had met in elementary. But each of them ended up switching schools or moving, so I ended up entirely alone. For the entirety of grade 12 I had no one to talk to. I would just hide in the bathroom between classes, and in the back of the library at lunch hour. It was awful.

I'm in University now, and not much has changed. I don't even know how I would go about making friends. I talk to people during class sometimes, and my co-workers and I are always chatting and joking around, but nothing ever comes of it. VERY rarely (like twice a year, maybe) I'll go out for coffee or to a movie with a classmate or co-worker. And we remain friendly, but we're never FRIENDS. We're just acquaintances.

The only human interaction I have is with my boyfriend (I don't know why, but I've never been nervous around guys). Other than that...I'm utterly alone. If my boyfriend were to kick me out right now for some reason, I wouldn't have a single person to call for help.

This just makes me feel SO hopeless and alone, because even when I hear about people who are "loners" or "outcasts" they still have a core group of friends who they hang out with. They still have SOMEONE.

Can anyone else relate to this? Or does anyone have advice?

I don't have any firneds, except a couple on-line friends. I only had one friend, at least I would call her a friend, not sure how long it lasted. Her name was Jil, and I was in 10th grade and she was in 12th grade. She was the only one who hung out with me, it is was a couple of times.

I remember I was sitting out in gym class one day, and she passed through the gym and seen me sitting there, came over and sat with me for a bit. It was awesome. I will always treasure that moment.

For awhile, I had her on Facebook, but not sure if she blocked me or not, but she is not there anymore, and can't access her profile. Not a big deal, becuase I dodn't think she remembered who I was, and we didn't talk much. Plus, she is into getting drunk and partying all the time, like most people. I'm not into that at all.

It was a lot easier to be friends when you very young, the older you get, the more is expected of you. There is a lot more barriers, and loops in communication. If you lack at social/communication skills (which I do very much), well, it dosen't get you far. I tried endlessly to make friends, people started disliking me, and blocking me for reasons unknown to me, and I'm left there confused.

It's so hard for me to talk to people, and it makes me paranoid, becuase I don't know if I'm annoying them, or saying something to don't like. I never know, if the next thing I will say, will set them off, and that's what I'm afraid of. People don't tell me where I go wrong, and it happens again, to the next person who comes along and so on. How are you suppose to learn from mistakes, when you don't know what mistakes you've made?

My mind is blank most of the time, due to Brain Processing Disorder, where the brain connot handle the information properly and it gets jumbled around, it affects speech and stuff. I made up the Brain Proccess Disorder, becuase when searching for my problem, I could not come up with a term or anything. What cuases it, I'm not sure. Maybe too much on the mind, but the brain is deffinitly overloaded. I can't always think properly when speaking, but even if I can, I still make mistakes, which turns people off. It also really affects my learning ability too.

 

[Silatuyok]

Pretty much only family for me. All my other "friends" are the type I hang out with once a year at most.

 

[Razzlecherry]

It's so hard for me to talk to people, and it makes me paranoid, becuase I don't know if I'm annoying them, or saying something to don't like.

I am the same way. I never know if the person I am talking to, sitting next to, etc. are actually annoyed/bothered by me. It's gotten to the point where I would just avoid people to relieve them of the burden that I am. Ouch.

 

[Etbow23]

I feel the same way as you...I have had friends in past, but never a lot. When I was younger, I had a healthier social life. Around the age of 15 or 16 something happened though and I was basically alone. I did make one friend at the hospital when I was 16, but me and her don't talk anymore.

I have my boyfriend, and I had hung out a couple times with (only guy) friends at my old job. I had talked to some women at work and other acquaintances, but never really made a really close bond. I just moved, and I'm back to square one. Just acquaintances. It's like something's wrong with me; I have trouble making "real" friends with people.

 

[Steppen-Wolf]

I'm in University now, and not much has changed. I don't even know how I would go about making friends. I talk to people during class sometimes, and my co-workers and I are always chatting and joking around, but nothing ever comes of it. VERY rarely (like twice a year, maybe) I'll go out for coffee or to a movie with a classmate or co-worker. And we remain friendly, but we're never FRIENDS. We're just acquaintances.

The same thing happens to me.

My social skills have improved a lot in the past few years, now I can actually behave like a somewhat normal person, but the small talk, the joking and the occasional laugh never turn into anything like a friendship.

There's just something else that's missing which doesn't let us make real friends, sadly I don't really know what it is .

 

[Sea Bass]

Yup, same here. I have no friends. The worst part is not being able to fit in with people.

 

[Foxface]

Yup, same here. I have no friends. The worst part is not being able to fit in with people.

You cna say that again.

 

[vitalis]

It sucks to feel alone specially while at school/univ periods. Youth is the time when we're supposed to be more social, and at the same time we're exploring the world we're in, so it's a time thing like those you describe may happen (from being easy to relate to the group to sometimes isolate and that this process self-reinforces in a certain age and gets worse eventually).

But if you look carefully at people around you, you'll find out there's a lot of people in their adulthood who don't have SA and doesn't have friends they can trust. Actually, we may call any acquaintance a friend if we wish so, but it is not exactly a friend. So just take a look at people around you, not just your schoolmates and not at all people that could be diagnosed with SA, you'll find loads of lonely people that also feel lost. We're living in a mostly lonely world, probably more individualistic and prone to loneliness to any other period of history.

 

[Starry]

I have no friends either, and no human interaction other than my husband and the occasional (3 or 4 times a year) visit from family members (My mother, his mother and little sister and his grandmother - and once or twice, his uncle)... I don't even have any online friends anymore...

It doesn't seem to be too unusual to not have friends though... Our old neighbours didn't appear to have social phobia (though, they might have had it mildly, I suppose)... But then never had friends visiting, only their family (quite frequently) and they never went out socially either... Just out to work and back...

 

[fadedteal]

I have no friends too. I can relate to you because I used to hide in bathrooms during breaks in high school too. Standing alone in hallways was just too awkward so I chose to hide(not that hiding in bathrooms wasn't awkward as well). As of now, I don't have anyone to meet up with except for my ex whom I meet for about two times a year. I have one online friend whom I talk to almost everyday but he lives in another country. So yeah, no friends irl.

 

[1BlackSheep]

I used to have a lot of friends when I was younger, but it seems to be more difficult to form close friendships now that I'm older. It's like people my age get kind of set in their "circles" and aren't really looking to find new friends. I have acquaintances I go out with on occasion, but no real-life "best friend" that I talk to all the time. In some ways I miss it, but in other ways I don't! I've met some nice people online who I wish lived closer though!

 

[Jemo]

I have no friends or acquaintances whatsoever. I'm completely alone, except for my family that I see once in a while, of course. It's been like that ever since I was a teen. I had friends that I played with when I was a kid but it was as if we grew apart after hitting puberty. Apart from the loneliness, of course, it also makes me feel really vulnerable not having anyone.

I can definitely relate to the thing about hiding in the bathroom at school. I have always dreaded the breaks a lot more than the classes because I had to figure out what to do with myself. Sometimes I would just sit somewhere and stare at my watch until the break was over. I hated it.

 

[Siegfried]

No friends... and i just simply gave up, i don't even try anymore, for me it's just pointless... my situation is pretty much the same, here in my job i barely speak to my co-workers... and in university i'm lonely... some days i feel so desperade because there is no one here who can help me... it just seems that it never will.

 

[jryden]

I have zero friends. I had a few in HS but when we graduated, we went our separate ways. In college, I only talked to people If I had to like in group projects. So yea I hang put with family because I have no choice.

 

[Fanden]

I have some, but lots have disappeared during the last few years. I find it difficult to make new friendships also.

I think it might also be like this for people without SA when they get older. When you're 15 you have 20 friends. When you reach 40 you have 4, and when you're 50 you have your wife/husband to whom you're really close to. But i don't know.