Does any of your friends make you feel inferior?

Srijita52

Well-known member
So I've this friend.We both have the same interests,our sense of humour match,she's very nice to hang out with when were're alone.I love spending time with her(again alone)but she acts completely different around others.Like the other day we're with our one friend & she was literally making fun of me,I even saw her winking at him to ask me questions I was really uncomfortable with.She always does that.I told her I don't like it but she just does'nt care.btw,she's very social & outgoing & I'm known as 'her retard friend'!I'm really sick of her.What on earth should I do?Please give some advice.
 
So I've this friend.We both have the same interests,our sense of humour match,she's very nice to hang out with when were're alone.I love spending time with her(again alone)but she acts completely different around others.Like the other day we're with our one friend & she was literally making fun of me,I even saw her winking at him to ask me questions I was really uncomfortable with.She always does that.I told her I don't like it but she just does'nt care.btw,she's very social & outgoing & I'm known as 'her retard friend'!I'm really sick of her.What on earth should I do?Please give some advice.

A true friend cares how you feel imo.
If she does not care about doing something you have told her you don't like, then she maybe not the kind of friend worth having.
 

da_illest101

Well-known member
Drop her, cause she will drop you the first chance she got. People like that aren't your friend, they are just people who just want to find someone that can make them look better because they don't act a certain way. You are better off alone then having a ****** of a friend, if we can call that a friend. Trust me get rid of her asap or give her a taste of her own medecine.
 

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
If she makes you feel bad about yourself, you could try talking to her about it but if this isn't something you feel can be fixed, you could try spending less time with her and finding someone else to spend your time with-- or find an activity to fill your time rather than hanging out with her.

The longer you stay together with someone who makes you feel bad- the more resentment will build and once that dam breaks, there's no going back.
It's hard to lose a friend but it makes things easier fi you can find something to replace her whether it be a hobby, a new friend, a job, a club-- just something constructive to take up your time so that you don't spend your days alone. The more time you have alone, the more you will think and the worse you will probably feel about yourself. You shouldn't feel bad about yourself!

There will always be people who act as your friends- selfish people who care more about themselves, who do whatever they can to make themselves look good and feel good.
It's unavoidable- these people are everywhere.
The best thing you can do for yourself, in my opinion-- is to be open about how you are feeling with your friends, family, partners, the people in your life; and just be honest.
Do things for yourself and learn to love yourself even if there's no one around to love you. Be okay with being independent.

If someone is making you feel inferior, they may be doing it on purpose or they may be completely oblivious to that fact.
Talking is the key to turning the situation around in your favour by either finding out that they really are two faced-- or that they really care about you and want to change.
Only talk if you feel comfortable with it and try not to be effected by what other people say.
 
Drop her, cause she will drop you the first chance she got. People like that aren't your friend, they are just people who just want to find someone that can make them look better because they don't act a certain way. You are better off alone then having a ****** of a friend, if we can call that a friend. Trust me get rid of her asap or give her a taste of her own medecine.

^ What he said.
 

Minty

Well-known member
If she tolerates you being known by others as "her retarded friend", then I'm afraid she's not a very good friend to you at all.

One thing you should probably be aware of is that people who are entirely different around different groups of people aren't comfortable with who they really are. They have low self-esteem. And people who make fun of others do so to feel better about themselves... It's bullying, when you strip it down. And this situation is almost worse because 1) the person who is bullying you is someone you really care about 2) the person who is bullying you is taking advantage of the fact that you're close. She knows she can say anything and you won't reject her because you're friends.

This is a weakness in her. You can confront her about it as tactfully as possible and if she chooses to ignore it, there is simply nothing you can do. You cannot change other people. So, your only options from that point would be to decide whether her rude behavior in public is worth it because of the close connection you receive from her in private, or whether you want better--in which case, you'll have to move on.

Hope things work out for you.
 

Phoenixx

Well-known member
I used to have a friend like this. She was great to hang around, when it was just the two of us (Except last year, she started to even tease me when it was just us). But once we were with other people, she made fun of me constantly, making me feel horrible. And people like that aren't "friends," trust me. I learned the hard way. :( I even opened up to her, told her that her teasing hurt me, but she didn't care. I finally got rid of her this past year. And I've felt a bit happier since.
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
Drop her, cause she will drop you the first chance she got. People like that aren't your friend, they are just people who just want to find someone that can make them look better because they don't act a certain way. You are better off alone then having a ****** of a friend, if we can call that a friend. Trust me get rid of her asap or give her a taste of her own medecine.

I tried to drop her,even ignored her for two weeks.But then she started telling others 'Oh,look guys I care so much about her & she's avoiding me',(she's also a sympethy whore)& suddenly I was the b***h & everyone started hating me....
 

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
I tried to drop her,even ignored her for two weeks.But then she started telling others 'Oh,look guys I care so much about her & she's avoiding me',(she's also a sympethy whore)& suddenly I was the b***h & everyone started hating me....

It'll be hard but honestly-- if people force themselves into your business and it bothers you, tell them that you're allowed to choose who you want as a friend and someone who allows you to be known as her 'retarded friend' isn't someone worth hanging out with.

If people hate you for that, they're obviously a bunch of narrow minded juvenile a**holes.
 

twiggle

Well-known member
I'm known as 'her retard friend'!.

^ That's shocking, and I bet she says it in a pretend jokey voice too, right?

I echo what everybody else has written. This girl is no friend of yours. I'd advise you try and drift away from her a little - you don't need to make a confrontation about it, or point blank just stop talking to her - but just try and spend less time with her. In that time, try and become good friends with yourself - as it sounds like your self-esteem needs a bit of repair after being subjected to her cruelty.
You really don't need people like that. It is very hard to discover and realise that we are better off without a particular friendship, but this one seems to be pulling you back much further than you would be without it.
 

Kathryn.fr

Well-known member
Spread nasty rumors about her... joke, but that's ****ed up. I could never drop someone really. But I usually tell it to them to their face that what they say is not right. I've had friends like that, but they usually say they're just playing right after it. yours seems pretty mean though :( +1 what everyone else says though. :3
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
^ That's shocking, and I bet she says it in a pretend jokey voice too, right?

yeah she does that & sometimes she'll wink at others & say "Stop it you guys.Its not easy for her!"She always HAS to tell me what others think of me like'You know they were telling me today that you're a really boring person' then she adds 'I only say this cos you're my best friend & I care about you'it really hurts me to hear those.I'll be having a perfect day doing fine then she'll say something like that & my entire day will be ruined.It has happened many times....
 
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Srijita52

Well-known member
She definitely sounds like a friend you could do without, but definitely try and lose the friendship gradually rather than suddenly, because despite her many misgivings, there must be some reason why she stays hanging around you. Your friendship must mean something to her even if she is a terrible friend,
Good point,she says that I truly understand her while everyone else is jealous of her.She always says that we're true friends & meant to be friends for lifetime.She wants to be my roomate in university but I really don't want to live with her...
 

Srijita52

Well-known member
that *wink* is a sign she isnt a friend and has been talking about you behind your back.
True friends dont do that. You should be careful and i dont trust her.

If she was a genuine friend, she wouldnt tell you what other had said to you, because she knows it will hurt your feelings and she knows its not true, so she wont tell you. Plus, she telling you that they think your boring, what is she expecting to happen by telling you this? She knows its only going to upset you. A nice friend wont say that.

I just think its better to have friends who you dont have to think about stabbing you in the back, if we think about the real defintion of a friend, they suppose to be friendly. but then, you know her better than me. Anyways, i think being friends, you should be able to talk to each other about anything, so if this is a problem to you, talk to her about it. If she cares. s, then she is a friend.

I talked to her about it a couple of times but she completely blew me off saying'that's stupid,you're misunderstanding' then she kept telling me in every five minutes 'Oh yeah I forgot my words hurt you!'
 

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
It sounds to me like she needs you alot more than you need her.

Be happy without her and do things you enjoy.
That is the best revenge you could get on a person like this.
 

alspacka

Well-known member
I've been on both sides in this kind of situation, and in my experience these 'friendships' are erosive to your personality and twist the notion you have of them. Such a relationship doesn't have a future imo.
 

schist

Well-known member
She's quite obviously taking advantage of you. She knows you have SA, and is constantly giving you **** around other people safe in the knowledge that you will not break away from her - she sees you as needy etc.

Do yourself and your self-esteem a favour and drop her from your life immediately.
 

da_illest101

Well-known member
I tried to drop her,even ignored her for two weeks.But then she started telling others 'Oh,look guys I care so much about her & she's avoiding me',(she's also a sympethy whore)& suddenly I was the b***h & everyone started hating me....

To this point it really doesn't matter, because anything you do won't make anyone feel differently. Anyone with decency wouldn't like her just because she is talking about you. You don't seem to be friends with the others so what they think isn't important at all. As you can see, everyone in this thread is telling to get rid of her. But If I was you I would put her in her place in front of everybody even if that makes you look like the ahole, so that she won't do that to anyone else
 

chrisjurban

Well-known member
being social phobic, or anybody really, friends are pretty hard to come by. and we're programmed like that, to connect and hold on to the connection. in my past, i had a friend that i made while i was completely depressed and isolated from pretty much any other social situations/contacts. there were parts of it i enjoyed, such as the way that he would always be around me no matter what kind of bad mood i was in. however, he constantly made me feel inferior-when i confided in him, he'd make fun of me at a later date (always in front of other people, always with a fricking audience lol), etc. it took me a while, but as i made other social connections, i learned that my relationship with him was pretty negative. i slowly decreased the amount of time i spent with him until one day i just told him i no longer wanted to be his friend, it just hurt too much.
 
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