Do you think it's possible to have SA and be a natural-born leader?

Newtype

Well-known member
Lately I've been wondering if I actually have good leadership qualities, which is strange because I have SA, so all my life, whenever I've been in a situation that involved teamwork, I barely talked and let everyone else decide what to do and even though sometimes I didn't agree, I didn't say anything.

However, online I don't have any trouble interacting with people and my leader side tends to come out when I'm playing online multiplayer games. People tend to respect me and like me and overall I tend to be a better leader than the average person. The whole transition from getting to know people to being in a leadership position always happens naturally.

If I really am like this, it's a shame that my SA is blocking me in real life, since being a great leader is a nice skill to have. But do you think that it's possible for someone with SA to actually be a good leader?
 

vj288

not actually Fiona Apple
The only thing having SA says about a person is, that they have SA. It does not make them an introvert, it does not mean they hate parties, it doesn't prevent them from giving public speeches, and it doesn't mean they can't be a leader or take a leadership role. It does make a nifty excuse for why we do not do things we "wish" we could but "can't." Usually, what is in our way is not SA, but telling ourselves because of SA we can't do things. It is a label, but doesn't actually define you. Letting it do so is the biggest mistake anyone could make.
 
Last edited:

LifeInternal88

Well-known member
It is possible. Especially if you're somewhat of an expert in your field; people want to learn from you.

I'm not saying he has SA, but someone like Bill Gates doesn't strike me as the typical strong extrovert leader, yet he inspires and leads.
 

Koime

Active member
In the past when I've worked with "slackers" in a group at school or something, I've shown what I guess are leadership qualities. I've wondered this myself before. As soon as I get into a group of normal working people though, like I guess what it would be like at a job, I just get kinda back-staged.
 

laure15

Well-known member
It is possible. I can be my own leader with 0 followers, and I do that a lot; I do things that normal people wouldn't do, such as spending fridays and saturdays not drinking, smoking, partying, or going to clubs.

Like you, I am very active online but reserved and quiet offline. It's like I have 2 different personalities. When I work in online groups, I am very "outspoken" and assertive. But when I work in person with other people, I become the opposite.
 

coyote

Well-known member
introvert or extrovert, self-confident or self-doubting - most people don't like to lead; they would rather be led by someone else

somebody has to do it, and it's hard for me to stand by and watch everyone else hemming and hawing over what to do. besides, i like to have things my way.

so i often find myself naturally stepping up into leadership roles without even thinking - only later do realize the position that puts me in, and i begin to get anxious about it
 

coyote

Well-known member
The only thing having SA says about a person is, that they have SA. It does not make them an introvert, it does not mean they hate parties, it does prevent them from giving public speeches, and it doesn't mean they can't be a leader or take a leadership role. It does make a nifty excuse for why we do not do things we "wish" we could but "can't." Usually, what is in our way is not SA, but telling ourselves because of SA we can't do things. It is a label, but doesn't actually define you. Letting it do so is the biggest mistake anyone could make.

 

Steppen-Wolf

Well-known member
Can someone with SA be a leader?, sure, if some random circumstances led him or her to such a position, but someone with SA doesn't really have the tool to be a competent leader. You need charisma and social skills, it's simply impossible to have such traits while also suffering from SA.
 

aNOTfox

Well-known member
Can someone with SA be a leader?, sure, if some random circumstances led him or her to such a position, but someone with SA doesn't really have the tool to be a competent leader. You need charisma and social skills, it's simply impossible to have such traits while also suffering from SA.

I believe social skills are separate from Social Anxiety.
I'm good at hiding my anxiety and can put on an act where people assume I have the social skills of a "normal"(hate that word) person, when really I'm terrified!
Therefore I think you can be a leader and have SA as social skills can be faked, depending of course on how bad your anxiety is; a year ago there was no way I could fake confidence, but nevertheless I think social skills aren't necessarily controlled by social anxiety.
 

crazycatlady27

Well-known member
i think my SA is weird, as i hate being around people and i hate going to events or to someones house, but i seem to just be able to go to a supermarket or a small shop. and i am the best in an emergency, i have no problem talking to someone in authority and i can get things done lol
and i can put on a good show to the public, i can be a confident person on the outside and be a complete puddle on the inside lol
 

seaturtle

Active member
No, I don't think it's possible, because people who are strong leaders are charismatic, assertive, and can handle rejection and hurdles without being affected. They have thick skin.
Not that it's not possible to rise in your career field- it's just harder when you're not shmoozing and networking.
 

sullyS25

Well-known member
I think if you dont let social phobia define you as a person you can do anything you want. It is when we set limits on what we can do that we start to have problems.
 

A Many Splendored Thing

Well-known member
Leading is easy. Dealing with the pressure is hard.

I bet many people could be leaders if they wanted to deal with the pressure. If you lead, everything falls onto you.
 

hoddesdon

Well-known member
Yes, SA is a condition that it is superimposed on you and can mask other qualities by blocking them from expressing themselves. It is not who you are, but a medical condition. It does not destroy these qualities, but only holds them down by removing the tools to use them.
 

hoddesdon

Well-known member
I believe social skills are separate from Social Anxiety.
I'm good at hiding my anxiety and can put on an act where people assume I have the social skills of a "normal"(hate that word) person, when really I'm terrified!

coyote is also able to do that.
 

Richey

Well-known member
I believe social skills are separate from Social Anxiety.
I'm good at hiding my anxiety and can put on an act where people assume I have the social skills of a "normal"(hate that word) person, when really I'm terrified!
Therefore I think you can be a leader and have SA as social skills can be faked, depending of course on how bad your anxiety is; a year ago there was no way I could fake confidence, but nevertheless I think social skills aren't necessarily controlled by social anxiety.

I think this only really works if you naturally posess strong personality traits inhereted or from learning it growing up. Some people are just naturally cliquey and charismatic, can fit in easily, can cope with gossip, sarcasm, jokes, conversation, pressure and so forth but can still have anxiety somewhere in the middle of all that.

I can't fake it though around other strong personalities, i will still joke around, sometimes, but the others will drive the conversation through their own confidence and will generally be the leaders.

i think for those who have a strong character and ego then being a leader becomes much easier. having low self esteem and being shy just doesn't work in terms of being a leader.

But i don't understand the faking it thing, probably because i'm placid/shy and am envious of those who are either loud and confident or who can fake it and be confident.
 
Last edited:

laure15

Well-known member
^I agree with the above. I used to be able to lie and fake things easily, but this is becoming harder. I guess it depends on your personality. Some people like Bill Gates don't come across as extroverted but they are born with charisma and have a strong character.
 

R3K

Well-known member
my assistant manager at my old job had terrible social skills, but somehow, using timing and japanese-style angry silence, he got ppl to respect and obey him. it was eery how well it worked.

just cause you're a sociable person doesn't mean ppl are gonna follow/agree with you. you might come across as an airhead, or a BS'er.
 
Last edited:
Top