FriendlyShadow
Well-known member
With parents? If so, how old? Are there reasons? Does it depress you? Are you currently still looking for jobs, friends, ect?
Do you still live at home?
- Thread starter FriendlyShadow
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LoyalXenite
Well-known member
Im not so much still at home coz I've lived in other places and been homeless, but I am currently living with my father (well in half of his garage but still essentially living with him). I've been here for about two and a half years, at 29 its a little sad to be living with a parent, but its the best option for me financially and was essential for my safety and more importantly the safety of my dogs. So in comparison its well worth it. Im using this time to finish uni and then I'll be here while I eventually put my life together and save up for a place of my own (well thats the plan/dream)
vj288
not actually Fiona Apple
Yes, I do still live at home although I was away 4 years while at school. I'm 27 and have been back home since I was 22. My initial reasoning was to stabilize all aspects of my life, although at this point the only aspect left to stabilize is my finances. I do have an income and revenue streams (although not a formal secure job) and am waiting until I have saved enough for a down payment leading to reasonable mortgage payments.
As to whether it depresses me to live at home still, it does get to me quite a bit at times. On one hand I feel very stagnated, as living in my childhood home makes it hard to feel like a grown up. I've felt tempted at times to move into an apartment again just to feel like I've moved forward again, because I feel very stuck in the past at home and like I am just waiting for my life to being once I move out. It deters me from wanting to meet new people to a degree, because telling them I live with my parents (while there's nothing wrong with that) makes me feel like I am lagging behind where I want to be and not trying hard enough to change that. I just struggle to be, or see myself as, the person I want to be while still living at home. And just seeing where my Dad is in life and the peculiar relationship my parents have is not helping with any of those feelings either.
As to whether it depresses me to live at home still, it does get to me quite a bit at times. On one hand I feel very stagnated, as living in my childhood home makes it hard to feel like a grown up. I've felt tempted at times to move into an apartment again just to feel like I've moved forward again, because I feel very stuck in the past at home and like I am just waiting for my life to being once I move out. It deters me from wanting to meet new people to a degree, because telling them I live with my parents (while there's nothing wrong with that) makes me feel like I am lagging behind where I want to be and not trying hard enough to change that. I just struggle to be, or see myself as, the person I want to be while still living at home. And just seeing where my Dad is in life and the peculiar relationship my parents have is not helping with any of those feelings either.
PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
I moved out of home when I was 13. Been back a few times when I was younger, but just couldn't stand it. I've been independent pretty much since.
I still have nightmares of somehow I'm all of a sudden back living with my mum.. When I wake up I'm like 'Oh thank FK it was just a dream..' lol.
I still have nightmares of somehow I'm all of a sudden back living with my mum.. When I wake up I'm like 'Oh thank FK it was just a dream..' lol.
Miserum
Well-known member
Nope. I think if I have kids I'm going to set a limit on how long they can stay with me. There comes a point where continuing to live at home becomes detrimental to the process of becoming a fully-fledged adult, and becoming that is a necessary part of living a happy life. Generally speaking, having a job, independent living, other adult things, need to happen sooner rather than later (at least in the USA--I know cultures vary in this regard), or else your kids will be far behind the curve of their peers in many, many respects... and hate themselves and probably you (the parent AKA the enabler) as well for it.
Despite my ADHD diagnosis--which I still do not fully believe in--I credit my lack of social skills with the inability to fly the nest and become a fully-functioning adult within a reasonable timeframe; I'm simply behind the curve and don't know how to act around A) my age group (30s), who have been working for a decade now, and B) around the working adult demographic generally, which is apparently a political game and social system in and of itself.
To answer your question on friends... I am currently looking for MYSELF (and I believe that will come as I learn how to really be an adult). When I find out who that is, I believe true friendship will come much more easily.
Despite my ADHD diagnosis--which I still do not fully believe in--I credit my lack of social skills with the inability to fly the nest and become a fully-functioning adult within a reasonable timeframe; I'm simply behind the curve and don't know how to act around A) my age group (30s), who have been working for a decade now, and B) around the working adult demographic generally, which is apparently a political game and social system in and of itself.
To answer your question on friends... I am currently looking for MYSELF (and I believe that will come as I learn how to really be an adult). When I find out who that is, I believe true friendship will come much more easily.
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theoutsider
Well-known member
I moved out when I was 19. Moved back in at around 21. Realized living at home when I was in my 20's was much less ideal than when I was a kid so I moved back out within a year and haven't looked back since.
planemo
Well-known member
Yes, I'm at home with parents. My health related issues being the main reason. From a cultural point of you, me still living with my parents, no matter my age or circumstances is still considered normal, so I don't get depressed about it in that sense. I do hope to have a change in circumstances which may help me to find a job, make friends, get married, etc one day.
Phoenixx
Well-known member
I moved out of my parents' house when I was 21 and I honestly haven't looked back. It was a hard adjustment for me as I not only moved out but I moved to a brand new city. Even as challenging as that was, and also realizing how much I actually hated living in the city, it still beat living in the toxic environment I grew up in. Doing so allowed me to put a social and emotional distance between me and other family members too, not just my parents. Isolating myself really helped me figure myself out and work through my SA and depression. I still struggle but I have been SO much better off since leaving. 
That being said, I'm in the process of moving again closer to my family because I honestly miss the area (and my friends). BUT I'm still living far enough away where I won't see or hear from family on a daily basis at the same time living in a beautiful area where all I see looking out the window is trees, birds, green grass, and sky. No people or other houses!
That being said, I'm in the process of moving again closer to my family because I honestly miss the area (and my friends). BUT I'm still living far enough away where I won't see or hear from family on a daily basis at the same time living in a beautiful area where all I see looking out the window is trees, birds, green grass, and sky. No people or other houses!
LoyalXenite
Well-known member
BUT I'm still living far enough away where I won't see or hear from family on a daily basis at the same time living in a beautiful area where all I see looking out the window is trees, birds, green grass, and sky. No people or other houses!
That sounds like a wonderful place to live!