Do you really feel free?

Sinopia

Sinopia

1
This might be a weird thread, but sometimes I'm wondering about what you think of the place where you were born and raised. Do you really feel the freedom there? I don't think I feel free, cuz of my SA. My SA is bothering me all the time. I was born and bred in the Netherlands, but I have asian parents. This place doens't feel like my homeland. I've always had the feeling that I'm not like the dutch and that I think it's difficult to get along with their mentality sometimes. I've been through a lot of racism and discrimination ever since I was a child. I've never actually learned how to deal with it. Usually when ppl say stupid things to me, I just ignore them and walk away, but inside me, I feel the anxiety all the time. Sitting at home became a habit to me at a very young age. I didn't want to play outside or join anything. I'm 25 now, still shy, still scared.

So how do you all feel in your neighbourhood? Do you like it? Do you really feel free?

Btw, this isn't meant to be offensive for the ones who are dutch. I love you all.
 
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EvilFlyingCow

Well-known member
I found that moving 1500 miles away from home helped me break out of my shell--at least temporarily. Out there, I made a lot of friends. But I moved back to my hometown to go back to college some years back. And I'm back in the same old rut again.
 
Phoenixx

Phoenixx

Well-known member
Well, I've only lived in NY for 8 years, but I still don't feel free here. I grew up for the first half of my life in the city, then my parents moved to this extremely rural area. I'm still not used to some of the stuff here. I go back to my hometown at least once a year and since it's changed so much, I don't feel free there either anymore. So I really don't know where I'd feel comfortable.
 
KnuffleBunny

KnuffleBunny

Well-known member
I was not shy at all as a child. I was loud, obnoxious and independent. I was also VERY free; I lived on a small island a few minutes by car to the mainland where I went to school, and I had practically no neighbors. My days were spent playing in the field next to my house, across the small street in the woods, in the swamp catching snakes and frogs, and in the summers collecting wild strawberries and blackberries. I had a few friends but had a wonderful time on my own. Was made fun of at school because I was 'different' but usually I just laughed at it and was perfectly happy with who I was.
 
MrJones

MrJones

Well-known member
Freedom itself is a weird concept... but i guess I'm not free, not at all. Some people say "hey, you can be free if you want to, just forget everything about your society and go to live in the woods and you'll be free". Yeah, because being free is doing something you would never do unless you're extremely desperate, sure...

Anyway, I don't think you're that bothered for your lack of freedom but for being accepted. Am I wrong?

PS: If I am wrong, my apologies :D
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
The last time I felt "free" in the neigbourhood I live in was 8 years of age.
Not at all since then.
However that is because of SA not because of racism/discrimination as you mentioned. That must have been very difficult to endure.
 
Shant

Shant

Well-known member
No. I don't remember the feeling, assuming I ever had it.

I'm sure if I find a place of my own to live away from my parents, I'll feel more free. Or at least like I'm living in a comfortable "home".
 
K

Kinetik

Well-known member
Well I got the same as you, OP. Came to Holland (from England) when I was a kid and never really played nice with the Dutch for some reason. Just some ongoing sort of disconnect I suppose. So in that sense I don't feel free, but for the most part I don't worry about it, I just do my own thing.
 
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