Do you hate being dependent on people?

[TheQuietGirl86]

Im starting to hate being dependent on the people in my life. It doesnt matter if its my parents, my sister, my boyfriend or someone else. I just hate it, i want to be able to not be as dependent but becoming more independent is really hard when you have the problems i have :sad:

Do anyone feel the same way?

 

[BlueDays]

hell yes.:sad:

I depend on my mother for emotional support too much because I don't have any friends in real life, or anyone else for that matter. If she died I would not be able to go on.

While it is not pleasant for people like us to have to be dependent on the few people we have around us because of our problems, I don't believe we should be too hard on ourselves about it.
We did not choose to have these problems. We don't want to be dependent on others.

 

[Hellhound]

Way too much.

 

[TheQuietGirl86]

I know what you mean but if i happen to lose any of the people im dependent on ill probably have a hard time continue with my life =(
And i hate feeling like that :sad:

hell yes.:sad:

I depend on my mother for emotional support too much because I don't have any friends in real life, or anyone else for that matter. If she died I would not be able to go on.

While it is not pleasant for people like us to have to be dependent on the few people we have around us because of our problems, I don't believe we should be too hard on ourselves about it.
We did not choose to have these problems. We don't want to be dependent on others.

 

[jaim38]

I feel the same way. I am currently financially dependent on my dad and not proud of it. Whenever I ask him for money, I feel very embarassed and tried to make it look positive.

I used to be emotionally dependent on 2 guys. I used to call one guy often just to yak to him about my problems. I also texted/chatted with another guy for support. But after I found SPW, I don't need to bother them anymore.

 

[Starry]

Everyone is dependent on someone else... People who work are hardly independent... They depend on their boss not firing them. Anyone who has a need for friends or a relationship isn't independent, they rely on the emotional support of those people.

The only people who could be completely independent would be hermits who grow or gather their own food and have no contact with anyone else at all... And then they'd still depend on the weather to help their crops grow...

 

[Flanscho]

I'm not dependant on people.

My family lives 400km away, I earn my money and pay for my flat.

I'm only in so far dependant as I really like some of my friends, and I'd miss them if they wouldn't be there.

When I was 21 I moved out of my parents flat into one I shared with others, to become more independant.

 

[lurknomore]

Yes. I wish I were more independent, and I may be, or seem to be, in some ways, but I don't feel very confident in it. I feel like I'm still around 12, knowing how to do many things, but actual "adult" decisions are nearly impossible for me. Decision making is where I feel the most dependent, but I'm also barely hanging on financially as well. It sucks, I don't want to depend on others (mostly family since I don't have friends), but I feel totally incapable of doing things and making decisions myself.

 

[gustavofring]

Yes I do.

I especially hate the power it gives people over me or the way they treat me.
My sister borrowed me money and she's been hounding me every day to look for work. I have found work now, but she's still being crazy, saying I should find more work in case this doesn't work out etc. She does this in a distrusting manner as if I'm a lying retard. I hate it when people try to boss me around like that. Maybe it's necessary, but it doesn't really do good things for my self-confidence.

I long for the day that I can pay for the bills and move out of this student flat, because I absolutely hate living with roommates. It's still up in the air how I will fare in the job. I hope the nerves don't get the best of me.

 

[anomicdeer]

Exactly. Same here.

 

[BlackPuma]

Emotionally I'm pretty resistant and independent. But that incidentally also makes me very dependant in other areas. As I'm a compulsive loner, and plan every action without external help, makes obtaining friends or any other relationship extremely difficult and alien.

Meaning that in a job, which is generally a team effort, is stressful and unlinear feeling. That's without even taking social anxiety into account. In short, it makes me dependant on my mother for basic resources until I find my way professionally/financially.

I'm very grateful to have a safety net, though. Don't get me wrong. I just wish I could take care of myself.. Start my own life, without feeling like a scummy freeloader.

 

[THeCARS1979]

Yes I try not to ask anyone anything or let anyone try to coddle me because then that will be bad also I will get seriously defensive and anger will start to build up