Do you guys go out?

[veggielover]

If and when you guys go out with friends, how do you feel?

For example, I was out with my friends the other night and throughout the night i kept thinking "man, why am i here? i'd feel better if i were by myself"
a lot of people ended up coming to the house we were hanging out at, and it was a bunch of people from high school that i never ever talk to so i just felt really uncomfortable and tried not to show it, but I just stayed quiet the rest of the time. Looking back, I could have tried to make conversation, but I was just worrying to much on what I should say and how stupid I would make myself look if I said the wrong thing gosh how horrible it is to be this way.
Having social phobia is the worst possible problem anyone could have, it's just us being incredibly stubborn, but we can't get rid of it.
sorry if that sounded really mean, but i get really angry at myself for not being a social person like all my friends and i try too hard to fit in, i just cant be myself around most people....

 

[Scrabbl]

Don't get angry at yourself. It's not your fault that you have SA. And when you're in an anxiety situation like this party, it's impossible to think straight, let alone make small talk. You just gotta start making baby steps like starting CBT. and it's never too late

 

[NothingElseMatters]

Just the fact that you went out is something so don't think that going was a waste of time.

Don't get angry at yourself. It's not your fault that you have SA. And when you're in an anxiety situation like this party, it's impossible to think straight, let alone make small talk. You just gotta start making baby steps like starting CBT. and it's never too late

very true.It's not your fault but you are the only one who can do sth about it so make the decicion to start doing it so that each time you go out your thoughts are gonna start helping you

i go out when i am not very depressed

 

[Skald]

your not alone never really go out either

 

[melodycurl]

I feel really uncomfortable in situations like that too.
I just sit there all quiet then wish that I wasn't that way.
it's laaame

 

[this_portrait]

I go out, but rarely do I ever go out with people except for maybe my mom. No one ever asks me to hang out, except for maybe at school once in a blue moon.

 

[Nicholas]

i just felt really uncomfortable and tried not to show it

Looking back, I could have tried to make conversation, but I was just worrying to much on what I should say and how stupid I would make myself look if I said the wrong thing

i just cant be myself around most people....

That's why, you feel uncomfortable. I sometimes feel so too, or often... or maybe always. I know it's just because I feel my friends are very different from me, and so I would like my friendships to be closer, deeper etc., but it doesn't seem possible... I know I need other friends that would be more compatible with me, so that I would feel more comfortable. That would be the solution, I think.

 

[Flowers-Of-Bloom]

Going out is menial... Conversation is exhausting.
Sometimes it's difficult for me to stay in reality and I may slip into a form of derealization, at worst.

 

[neko]

I go out with someone but never by myself though there are some places that even with someone with me, I feel incredibly insecure and just can't go to.

 

[userremoved]

Yeah for like 15 minutes then I find a way to disappear somehow. Sometimes I can stand around and "look" like I'm being social lol.

 

[klytus]

No. I never "go out", in the social sense. I may leave my flat for countless reasons, but none of them involves voluntary social activities. I don't have friends and have never had any in real-life - and I'm pretty good at letting people know that I don't want their company, so, I am a professional hermit.

 

[Skatergirl]

2 years ago, when i was 15, i was going out a lot. And i didnt had a problem with it. But NOW.. no way.. I feel so uncomfortable with that.
But i would LOVE to go out, it's one of my hobbies.
And that's why i get angry too at myself, because i should do it. But i keep stopping myself :: SA is such a big problem..

 

[pufferfish]

i will go out with my close friends, and even then sometimes i feel like i would rather be alone in my bedroom. i even get like that when i am out with my boyfriend, which is a real shame. it is becoming that i don't even want to see him sometimes, just because i feel it would be easier to just stay in my room, alone. then i wouldnt have to face all my relationship anxieties... it's really terrible. ): breaks my heart. i love him but it's hard for me sometimes. even with my friends i sometimes struggle.

i agreed to go out to a club once because one of my friends from high school was moving away. what a bad idea that was. it was painfully awkward and scary being in a huge crowd like that. never again.

 

[recluse]

I can relate to the original poster. On the rare occasions when i've gone with people i feel i can't enjoy myself because i feel so awkward and i just stay quiet not knowing what to say, when i do have something to say i'm afraid of saying it for the fear of appearing foolish. When in places with someone i keep thinking ''Is it time to go home yet?''....Yet when i am alone at home i feel depressed and frustrated.

It seems my brain can't handle the negative thoughts and concentrate on having a good time simultaneously.

 

[dooby-duck]

I leave the house, go to work and stuff but only very rarely do anything like socialising. When I do I usually end up not saying too much. It takes me a long time to get comfortable in new surroundings, and in crowded places. I usually find that I'm too busy taking in the whole of what is going on around me, that I can't keep track of what is happening in my own group of friends. It's a strange feeling being isolated in a group of people. Then I start to over analyse things, and mind reading.

 

[zlench]

To work and a shop that is all. I'm very isolated person.

 

[Generical]

I think it just takes a lot of practice. Recently been to a friends birthday thing and my bro moved house and had some people over and it's almost always like a test, constantly judging how i'm performing. Then i think well maybe i should just relax and not care how i'm doing and then i realise i've been staring at the wall for 5 minutes. I guess the good thing is i actually had a good time on both occasions so the fact that at times i thought i was being a spaz it was actually fine. Just would always prefer to be able to sit down with anybody and get a decent convo not just the usual thought of 'sweet i'm doing alright, oh shit the topic is ending...'aren't these walls nice?'' conclusion. Hmm so yeh practice, practice, practice just have to get out in the first place.

 

[JCS008]

I don't mind going out at all. It's just I hate the question asking: "How are you doing?" More often than not, I lie and say: "I'm fine." And then ask the other person about themselves. And I get kind of annoyed of people who push things and ask questions that are way too personal.

 

[WelshOne]

I get out of the house plenty, but I never go out socializing. Well, I suppose for the last 2 Mondays I've been going to a mental health group, which is sort of socializing. The idea of going to a party (or whatever) terrifies me, though.

 

[doesit]

i go out often to the pubs and when you get few pints into all SA is gone,but most of the time id rather stay at home,because at least next day you feel good and have money at the same time,and i hate when people ask did you hook up with someone in the club/pub when its impossible to have a normal chat with someone when music is 120Db loud and everyone is completely drunk. I wish i was 17 again,when we used to have house partys and you would know everyone there and main purpose would be just to have a great time