Do you ever feel isolated from your own family?

[hybridmoments6]

In the past five or so years I feel like I've become really detached from my family to the point where I feel like they don't care about me much or what my life is like at all. I only see them ocasionally and when I do my dad hardly says a few words to me and all my mom does is either subtly criticize (my appearance or the fact that i dont have a job) ,ignore me or talk about my brother constantly. He is alot more outgoing than me and is always getting into trouble with drugs and weird, crazy **** so he gets all the attention. I just feel like the quiet outcast who has nothing in common with anyone. No one asks me how i am or what I'm up to and I don't really know how to reach out to them... even when i try it never seems to be enough.

 

[lyricalliaisons]

I've been isolated from everyone in my family for years, except for my mom, but it's because I'm too afraid to be around them. Most of them think nothing but negative things about me & love to criticize me whenever I'm around them, so that just makes it worse. I know that the only reason I'm not isolated from my mom is because we live together, or else, I might be isolated from her, too. But she never asks how I'm doing. She really doesn't care, & there's a lot she doesn't know about me, even though we live together.

I would love to be able to have a good relationship with my family, but that's just not possible & I highly doubt it ever will be.

 

[PunkRotten]

Sounds like you are the family scapegoat. I suggest reading up on it and family dysfunction, it will help shed some light on these issues. Its a tough position to be in. For the most part there really is no explanation, the family dynamics are just screwed up.

 

[206Raider]

Yep...me and my mom talk every now and then...my brother and me almost never talk, I talk to my dad every now and then and my sister used to be the closest to me and ever since she moved away, we never talk and it's almost like we are strangers. Everyone else in my family could careless about me and me to them as we never talk and really are like strangers too.

 

[Ignace]

I only know my father and mother of my family. My family is social and comes together a few times a year and everyone knows everyone except me. I feel guilty for not going to my grandfather since he's very old and can die any second. I know ..

 

[hybridmoments6]

Yeah it really sucks being on the outside when everyone else seems to get along and talk to each other. I hope things change for us but I dont have much hope for becoming close to my family...I just wish I could not have it effect my self esteem so much. If they don't care about me, I guess i should just try not to care much about them either :/

 

[Shadowplay]

I don't feel like I belong anywhere, not even with my family. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents and my brothers but I don't fit in with them. Whenever they go out somewhere, I always choose to stay at home. We barely speak, I spend 95% of my time in my room.

 

[hybridmoments6]

I know the feeling Almost everywhere I go I feel like an outsider

 

[hybridmoments6]

Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad you have a supportive family! I think mine does mean well most of the time but they don't know how to show emotions or love to me at all. I used to be much more hurt by it when i was living with them, but now I only get really upset when i see them ignoring me in person or giving my brother all the attention. I hope it will get better though ::

 

[BlackPuma]

Pretty much. My father doesn't really seem to care, he does of course, but does nothing in terms of making any effort to help his kids get through though situations. My mom, well, she makes mistakes allot which makes feel isolated from her. But at least she tries.

 

[jishaku]

not at all.. being with family is like being in heaven.. that's the only place where i can calm myself down... =]

 

[lurknomore]

Sort of. I'm mostly comfortable around them, but I still feel out of the loop with them. I recently found out that my sister and her boyfriend eloped months ago- nobody told me, they just assumed I knew... and my cousin got married, and they assumed I received an invitation... which I did not. So, I just set up a Facebook account... most of my friends there are family members that I barely talk to anyway... keeping up with them in this way seems easier.

They help me out when I need it (and work up the courage to actually ask), but I feel like a burden to them since I'm so helpless on my own.

 

[Hellhound]

I am. They don't like me around unless it's to make fun of me and criticize everything, they don't care about me, I don't care about them either. I'm pretty distant from them. I don't even bother to talk to them much, it's a waste of time.

In your case, maybe you should try telling them how you feel? Have you ever talked about it with them? Would they understand? I know it's a stupid question... but maybe if you let them know, they will try to include you more.

 

[hybridmoments6]

Thanks for the responses guys, I appreciate it. Families are just strange sometimes :/ I used to tell my parents all the time that I felt left out and depressed and we even went to counseling for a short time when my brother was in and out of rehab, but usually my parents, especially my mom would get really defensive and say that she did everything she could for us etc (mainly paying for rehab/counseling) and that I was just attacking her...so eventually i stopped bringing it up and now that I live on my own i just leave it alone. They make it seem like now that I'm over 18 I shouldn't be needy or come to them with emotional problems. I don't want to get into arguments the few times I do visit them...but it's true that I have really low self esteem and need to learn how to love myself first. I'm working on it...

 

[IAMN]

I'm in the exact opposite situation. My family pours love onto me even after I've wronged them a great deal. They are just too completely opposite of what I am-- they are outgoing and talkative and share everything single thing they have with each other. They ask me about my work, my social life(like i have one)... when I'll be giving them grandkids I think my condition is a lot better, probably the best for as long as I can remember, but when I am with them a fear washes over me that only a person with sa would know. I drink heavily when I am with them-- I try to placate their worried faces with my fake smiles and a feign of interest, and they see that. I cannot be the person they hoped for me to be...I cannot be the person they hope for me to become... I cannot give them the things that they deserve, and this bothers me most-- the feeling that I owe all, but cannot pay. I am not a religious person, but I do believe there is a day of self judgment, and should I let them die off, lose contact, there would be nothing left of me but rage and regret, and the judgment is that all was for not. Thanking for this post, and letting me rant.

 

[kristy85]

I would suggest that, better you take a step forward and then expect your parents or relatives to step ahead.. Some people do have the nature of not consoling others when we are upset or not feeling well and think that they dont want to disturb us, So better you speak to them what you feel.

Drug Rehab Program

 

[Hannes]

I have realized that we can only take responsibility for ourselves, it does not help us to look around at the shortcommings of others or their faults as there is nothing we can do to change them, that is their responsibility.

What we need to do is simply become responsible for our own actions and mindsets and as soon as we begin to do this we will no longer be troubled by the shortcommings of others, if they don't want to talk to you, so be it! If they don't want to be nice, so be it!

It will be on their negativity list and not mine, but I also find that the more we make sure that we do all we can to be the best we can and the kindest we can, the easier it becomes for others to do the same.

Just a thought, try it, it works for me.

 

[driping jon]

hi hybrid ,i am very much like you ,i hide in summer when i can ,is your prob hh or something else ,i only work 2 hours in morning ,then hide lol

 

[sevenroses]

I'm not isolated from my own family because of SA it's because i don't get along with tons of relatives

 

[LadyWench]

Absolutely. I've always felt that way. Even as a small child experiencing panic attacks, nobody was there to comfort me. They just got irritated and didn't know how to deal with it. I've never been close with my sister, and my relationship with my mom is an entire story on its own.