Do you ever feel better than other people?

[redtear]

I know most of our days our spent feeling like we are nothing; feeling inadequate in one way or another. But do you ever feel the exact opposite? Do you ever feel smarter or, in some other way, better than the "normal" people? Not just in general either, but almost as an actual result of AvPD.

My poor brain feels quite foggy today, and I know I've probably failed to express what I'm feeling. ::

 

[Blabla..]

i sometime see that i can do things better than others but that doesn't make me feel better than them , i dont see it that way , everyone is equal to me

 

[Psychedelicious]

Waiting

It's hard for me to think or feel that I am better than anyone in anyway. I will always always find something better about everyone than me. I just can't think in terms of me being better than anyone else, because I just hate myself far too much. I know perfectly well that everyone is not better than me in every single way they could be, but my imperfections just add up too high and I can't see around them at all.

 

[MikeyC]

Re: Waiting

I just hate myself far too much.

As much as I hate to have this issue, I am affected by so little self-esteem that I hardly ever talk myself up. I'm sorry you feel so negative about yourself, Psychedelicious. ::

I feel very inferior to most people I know. My best friend is better than me in every single aspect of life and that makes me feel even worse about myself. Then there's other people in my life with better jobs, more money, more interests, more friends, and so on that it makes me feel very small.

However, this is not true for everyone. I know a girl with absolutely no brains, dates loser men, is mean to a lot of people, gossips like it's her business, has a massive temper, and she thinks she's awesome and everyone should love her. I look at her and I just know I'm better than her.

 

[Sartana]

Re: Waiting

I have a friend who is making it his mission to annoy me at the moment. At this moment in time I know I'm better than him. ::

 

[antihistamine]

I know what you mean OP. I do feel superior sometimes. When conversations other people are having about very mundane things, I feel "How dull". I'd rather spend time in my own imaginary world. It's far richer

Other people's sense of humour appears quite banal to me sometimes and totally banal. How can they laugh at something like that?

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I know most of our days our spent feeling like we are nothing; feeling inadequate in one way or another. But do you ever feel the exact opposite? Do you ever feel smarter or, in some other way, better than the "normal" people? Not just in general either, but almost as an actual result of AvPD.

My poor brain feels quite foggy today, and I know I've probably failed to express what I'm feeling. ::

Looking down on others in order to feel better about one's self is a universal human weakness. It usually involves a substantial amount of self-deceit and in the end leads to bad things. Since we are all vulnerable to this, it is something to constantly watch out for.

 

[bsammy]

yes i somewhat often feel like im better than others..its weird with me because generally i will start off when i meet someone feeling slightly inferior to them but i have found that many times the more i get to know them, the tide changes and i often think i am better than this person in many ways..i was going to make a post on this and other avpd issues as i dont completely understand it..when i say i feel like im better than some people its not like i will treat them any worse than normal but good chance i wont have much to do with them in a 'lets hang out' sense..plus it doesnt help that i find most people boring..ugh

also one of the traits of avpd is that avoidants will usually pick partners that are below their social status in some sense..so this does mean that avoidants dont see themselves as the bottom of the barrel?that avoidants do see themselves as superior to others in some instances?

sort of confusing imo..

 

[Etbow23]

Secretly I often feel smarter, yes.

 

[antihistamine]

something to do with superior attitude compensating for inferiority complex...I can feel such mixed emotions as inferior and superior at the same time

I may well avoid making friends with people who make me feel inferior and can feel relaxed with people I feel superior to in some way...it's something I am not proud of.....I avoid arrogant, argumentative intellectual types, not just because they are boring and serious but also because they make me feel my ability/education is somewhat average, mediocre
Yet I don't like uneducated types either!!! No wonder I spend a lot of time on my own!!

 

[Etbow23]

something to do with superior attitude compensating for inferiority complex...I can feel such mixed emotions as inferior and superior at the same time

I may well avoid making friends with people who make me feel inferior and can feel relaxed with people I feel superior to in some way...it's something I am not proud of.....I avoid arrogant, argumentative intellectual types, not just because they are boring and serious but also because they make me feel my ability/education is somewhat average, mediocre
Yet I don't like uneducated types either!!! No wonder I spend a lot of time on my own!!

It's funny, because I've always dealt with feelings of inferiority but it's interesting to hear that other people feel have the mixed feelings of superiority at the same time.

And I avoid certain types of people as well. I dislike the first you named--often they are wrong however because they have a strong personality they argue to make it seem they're right (in reality they just don't listen and think they're always right). I dislike uneducated people as well. So I can relate to that. lol.But I really don't like the intellectual snobby types. They try to make me feel dumb.

 

[antihistamine]

It's funny, because I've always dealt with feelings of inferiority but it's interesting to hear that other people feel have the mixed feelings of superiority at the same time.

And I avoid certain types of people as well. I dislike the first you named--often they are wrong however because [B]they have a strong personality they argue to make it seem they're right (in reality they just don't listen and think they're always right).[/B] I dislike uneducated people as well. So I can relate to that. lol.But I really don't like the intellectual snobby types. They try to make me feel dumb.

These days I tend to look down on agrumentative types because it just seems so immature to become obsessed with a topic and an opinion. "Get a life!" is what I feel like saying to them.

I didn't really mean I disliked unedcated people...just that we don't seem to have much in common..not the same interests and especially the ones who are totally insensitive to those with social phobia!

 

[Feathers]

Well, it has helped me in the past to say to myself something like, 'I'm not better or worse than anyone else' or 'We're just different!'

It's easy to feel superior to others when watching eg Jerry Springer show or any silly reality shows etc (I guess that's why so many people watched it!!) it's important to realize we're all just... different!!

I think many shy/sa/avpd/hsp people may be intelligent and/or highly ethical actually, sometimes more than others... it's important to realize that intelligence isn't everything either... Looking at Myers-Briggs personality types (or even the horoscope! ) can be helpful here too... Everyone has + and - qualities, it's important to become aware of both and work on a healthy balance and see the good (and what could be improved) in others too I guess...

 

[Fen]

No, never.
In the past yes, maybe, but I was surely wrong.

 

[jonas89]

No matter how difficult times you think you have, there is always someone somewhere having a tougher time than you.. that what I think usually if I feel like ****

 

[MikeyC]

No matter how difficult times you think you have, there is always someone somewhere having a tougher time than you.. that what I think usually if I feel like ****

I've tried this wavelength of thinking and it seriously doesn't help me. :/

 

[Fen]

I've tried this wavelength of thinking and it seriously doesn't help me. :/

Yeah... I can't feel better thinking that someone else is suffering more than me.

 

[MikeyC]

Yeah... I can't feel better thinking that someone else is suffering more than me.

Not just that but it then feels like my problems are unimportant...which makes me feel worse again.

But you're essentially correct, Fen.

 

[jonas89]

I've tried this wavelength of thinking and it seriously doesn't help me. :/

people are different something works for others and doesn't for others,,, I mean when I feel like crap I don't usually sit down and say: no one will feel as horrible as Im,, or something like that.

I know what you're saying it's something like: why don't you eat all you food, think about the starving children in Africa. It doesn't help me to get it all down there when Im full

 

[to·ma·to]

I know most of our days our spent feeling like we are nothing; feeling inadequate in one way or another. But do you ever feel the exact opposite? Do you ever feel smarter or, in some other way, better than the "normal" people? Not just in general either, but almost as an actual result of AvPD.

Yes, and then I get a reality check and feel awful I did that. ::

Then I feel worse.