Do you defend other shy people?

[Richey]

For instance my parents will say to me "dont you think this person was distant and unsociable tonight? what's their problem exactly" ...

i start to defend them by saying "maybe that person is just shy" ..

then they say "yeh but they didn't say a thing" ...

then i say "perhaps they felt uncomfortable in a group" ..

i defend them while they just sort of rip into them for not having a personality in a rutheless sense ...

i find this happens alot with people where really outgoing people just dont understand why people are shy and have little sympathy for them because of their arrogance it doesnt compute

 

[Jake123]

I do that.

 

[BlackKids]

I guess so, I dont really get involved in other peoples business unless I know them or they ask for my opinion.
If people are gossiping/ talking shit about others I just ignore it and take the person as they are.

 

[blue-roses]

Yeah, I do that, and I go out of my way to talk to people that seem shy...partly because I genuinely feel for them, and partly because I'm aiming low, haha - I just can't talk to people I think are "better" than me in some way.

 

[redski]

...
United we stand!

Damn you!
That is exactly what I wanted to write.

 

[Interzone]

In my mind I do, otherwise not really.

 

[izzymarie]

Haha I do this to. It's almost like if someone's giving someone else a hard time about being shy I take offense to it like they're directing it at me because I can relate so well.

 

[Interzone]

I get upset and start to feel my face get red but I don't really speak up, even though I feel like I am on the verge of doing so, I just don't.

 

[Harleyq]

I feel personally insulted so of course I stick up for the quiet ones.

 

[PennyLane]

There was a girl who lived in my ex's place who didn't really have any friends and never really left her room. All the other flatmates hated her and could be quite mean. I used to tell my boyfriend that I thought they should all be ashamed of themselves for being outright nasty to a girl who although may eb annoying hadn't actually done anything to them.

On the other hand im going to be very honest. Even though I am like this, sometimes when I meet someone very quiet, dismissive or aloof, I still sometimes think they are rude and find myself wondering what is their problem. I know this is strange as im in the same boat....but if im honest I have met people and thought this.

 

[Queen_Of_Pain]

On the other hand im going to be very honest. Even though I am like this, sometimes when I meet someone very quiet, dismissive or aloof, I still sometimes think they are rude and find myself wondering what is their problem. I know this is strange as im in the same boat....but if im honest I have met people and thought this.

I know what you mean, I used to get parandoid that the few quiet people I know are just hiding behind a quiet facade but really they're nasty beneith the surface lol or that could have been paranoia..or maybe not, it's hard to tell sometimes so I try not to think about it too much, it kind of freaks me out.

I defend quiet people or people with depression and other problems, not just because I can relate but because I genuinely can't stand it when someone who is lucky enough to not suffer with these problems starts to make naive invasive comments about something they probably don't know much about, and although It's new knowledge to them it can be offensive to others, and I think sometimes they need to know who they're hurting and why, not that it doesn't usually end in an argument lol.

 

[recluse]

Hell yeah! It hurts me when people talk about shy/quiet people in a negative way, it's as if people are so ignorant that they think that we shy people want to be that way.

I remember at work some of the guys would comment on how quiet and ''weird'' a particularly shy person in our work place was, and in my mind i was screaming ''LEAVE HIM ALONE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!''

I've been subject to such comments like when i went to my school friends house after school for a meal. At that time they were temporarily living in a trailer because the house was being renovated. I went to the bathroom for a pee and being such a small space i heard my friends older sister saying ''he's so quiet isn't he!''.....I felt ashamed hearing this.

What hurts more is when my parents and grandmother comment on shy people. My grandmother does it more and she used to tell me that i had to talk to people or they would think i was strange. Horrible when you can't even trust family isn't it!

 

[mrb]

yea i do it all the time

 

[PennyLane]

I think the thing is people don't think saying your quiet is offensive. Maybe they even imagine we choose to be this way. I've have sooooo many people say it too me, including bosses in front of other people...like its just a joke. Except im not laughing

It also reminds me of the way people say to me...oooh your so skinny, you need to eat more...like this is not meant to make me feel bad. Yet if I said to them, hey you've put on a bit of weight you should probably eat less....everyone would think I was the devil!

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I find myself defending people. Especially those who get talked bad/gossiped about demonized etc...I know what that feels like so I can't help but speak up. I've physically defended people who could not defend themselves. One time I even got choked because of this. Of course, no one defended me. lol It's forgivable though because this guy had been severely abused by his father so I forgave him a long time ago.
I shoved some douche bag for calling my friend a slut. I really thought he was going to kick my ass but he never did.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I think the thing is people don't think saying your quiet is offensive. Maybe they even imagine we choose to be this way. I've have sooooo many people say it too me, including bosses in front of other people...like its just a joke. Except im not laughing

It also reminds me of the way people say to me...oooh your so skinny, you need to eat more...like this is not meant to make me feel bad. Yet if I said to them, hey you've put on a bit of weight you should probably eat less....everyone would think I was the devil!

Boy, isn't that the truth! I used to get this (you're so skinny, you need to eat) a couple of years and 10lbs ago.

 

[Harleyq]

Boy, isn't that the truth! I used to get this (you're so skinny, you need to eat) a couple of years and 10lbs ago.

Me too. I actually had this conversation with a friend:

Him: You're too thin. You need to eat more.
Me: You've seen the way I eat, I don't think it'll work, haha
Him: No, unfortunately.

I mean, wtf? I wasn't offended or hurt but it was one of those moments where I was thinking "It's a good thing I'm your friend or else I'd start picking off your physical flaws" Just because magazines have all these thin models, doesn;t make it any more acceptable for people to insult us like that.

I had another friend in high school that asked this one girl "Why don't you ever talk?" and was kind of pressuring her and I told him to quit and he goes "I'm just trying to get her to open up more"

So yeah, there's also ignorant people who, for some reason, think the best way to make a quiet person feel comfortable enough to open up is to harass them about it. That'll make them feel all warm and fuzzy inside so they'll immediately start talking back jovially

 

[Jake123]

lol, back when I was an anorexic stick I was at the mall one day and people actually came up to me and offered me food. One person even left money on my table and told me to go buy food. This actually happened on various occasions but yeah lol.

 

[recluse]

I think the thing is people don't think saying your quiet is offensive. Maybe they even imagine we choose to be this way. I've have sooooo many people say it too me, including bosses in front of other people...like its just a joke. Except im not laughing

It also reminds me of the way people say to me...oooh your so skinny, you need to eat more...like this is not meant to make me feel bad. Yet if I said to them, hey you've put on a bit of weight you should probably eat less....everyone would think I was the devil!

I've never understood why people don't think it's offensive, but the fact is it is offensive for the recepient, they don't understand the hell shy people who are afraid to assert themselves go through. It depends also on how the comment is put across i mean it could be ''He's so quiet and boring!''......O'r ''He's a nice quiet, unassuming guy''...I've heard some nice comments about shy/quiet people.

About the weight comments, they probably think that being called skinny is not offensive like being called fat is, but the fact is either way can be hurtful.

 

[PhantomPod]

Yeah, I do that a lot. I guess it's just since I'm shy I can relate so I can notice that a person is just shy and timid not just rude. Whenever people say rude or mean comments towards a quiet person I say, "maybe that person is just shy. They seem shy to mean. I don't think they mean to be rude."