shahnawaz STOP!!!
Member
i think for my social anxiety the environment has played a crucail role ...is there anyone who think same???
do environment of one's home also somwhere responible for SA
- Thread starter shahnawaz STOP!!!
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Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Same here.
shahnawaz STOP!!!
Member
at schol i was horrible n dumb
Srijita52
Well-known member
I'm sorry you had a bad time at school. It wasn't that well for me too.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Being bullied all throughout my school years doesn't exactly help SA. If anything, the bullying I endured caused me to develop social anxiety. High school was when my SA got really severe, forcing me to drop out.
Srijita52
Well-known member
I'm sorry..bullying really should stop, its very harmful for those who endure it and sometimes for the bully too.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Yeah, I agree with you on that, Srijita. Though, I don't think those doing the bullying fully realise the consequences of their actions, especially when it comes to verbal bullying. That s*** leaves a lasting impression, speaking from personal experience.
Srijita52
Well-known member
Yeah, I know how it feels Graeme. Verbal and emotional bullying can go for a long way and completely crush ones self confidence. People who bully probably aren't always fully aware of how much they're hurting the other person.
psych
Well-known member
I tried to check the OP's age, but didn't see it.
My home is fabulous now, because I live alone with a cat!
Without the bullying I experienced in school.... The abuse I took from step siblings and one monster of a stepmother...(mommie dearest) My older brother joined in because it was easier to go along with it...(betrayal)
I was told I was hideous and worthless every day from age 8 until I was a teen.
I do believe it has had long lasting ill effects.
Though, I feel like a whiny loser discussing it now that I'm getting old.
In short, I do believe home environment in one's youth can have a huge effect on SA, due to my own personal experience.
My home is fabulous now, because I live alone with a cat!
Without the bullying I experienced in school.... The abuse I took from step siblings and one monster of a stepmother...(mommie dearest) My older brother joined in because it was easier to go along with it...(betrayal)
I was told I was hideous and worthless every day from age 8 until I was a teen.
I do believe it has had long lasting ill effects.
Though, I feel like a whiny loser discussing it now that I'm getting old.
In short, I do believe home environment in one's youth can have a huge effect on SA, due to my own personal experience.
Ashiene
Well-known member
I live in the 3rd most densely populated country in the world, Singapore, with around 18500 people per square miles, as compared to USA, which has 83 people per square miles. So, as you can see, it is really Hell to have anxiety here where its flooding with people everywhere and we live so close that we can even carry a conversation by our windows.
Srijita52
Well-known member
I can understand how you feel. I'm sure you can be independent, you're a strong person. Keep trying.
persianfan247
Active member
It is mainly my genes, but my environment has also played a role. Both my parents are shy people and I inheirted their tendecies. My parents were not very social, so I wasn't exposed to many social situations with my family and my small wider family lives in the south Island and we usually only saw them once a year. Throughout school I experienced bullying, but never severe and I am sure there are people who have been bullied far more then me but don't have social phobia. However that is not say that it didn't contribute to my SP.
I would say the worst thing in my environment is lack of exposure to social situations. I went to a small primary school which only reached over 100 students just before I left. At this school I had a on off friendship with the kids my own age. No friends at Intermediate School which had a far larger amount of kids, though I had one friend from primary school who wasn't interested in being friends with me anymore. At a boys only High School I didn't have friends for the first year and a half. There were these guys who kept on running off with my bag every day and I was bullied in some of my classes. This all came to a head when I cried one time at home and my Mum then complained to the school and I then saw the school councilor who brought one of the bullies in and he asked if I wanted him to be punished and I decided that he shouldn't be, which I thought was a good idea as it turned out and then the councilor asked this bully to look out for me which he subsequently did. I became friends with him and his group of friends and to his credit he was always nice to me. But I also became friends with some of my other bullies who did occasionally bully me. However I don;t completely regret this since I think they enlightened me in many ways and helped dismiss some of my silly ideas. They opened my eyes in many ways, but they still bullied me occasionally and they didn't help my self-esteem. So when I went to Uni which was away from these friends I decided that I would no longer be friends with them. Not that they know that I have decided this, which may be wrong of me and I will be friendly with them if I ever meet them again.
I guess one problem is that I have never made friends, I have always fallen in with my friends and I don't really know, beyond the basics of interacting with someone, how to get into a knew group of friends.
My social phobia is worse with people my own age and when I am trying approach someone but once I have entered into some kind of conversation I find it slightly easier though I am wondering if I am revealing myself to be an idiot.
I would say the worst thing in my environment is lack of exposure to social situations. I went to a small primary school which only reached over 100 students just before I left. At this school I had a on off friendship with the kids my own age. No friends at Intermediate School which had a far larger amount of kids, though I had one friend from primary school who wasn't interested in being friends with me anymore. At a boys only High School I didn't have friends for the first year and a half. There were these guys who kept on running off with my bag every day and I was bullied in some of my classes. This all came to a head when I cried one time at home and my Mum then complained to the school and I then saw the school councilor who brought one of the bullies in and he asked if I wanted him to be punished and I decided that he shouldn't be, which I thought was a good idea as it turned out and then the councilor asked this bully to look out for me which he subsequently did. I became friends with him and his group of friends and to his credit he was always nice to me. But I also became friends with some of my other bullies who did occasionally bully me. However I don;t completely regret this since I think they enlightened me in many ways and helped dismiss some of my silly ideas. They opened my eyes in many ways, but they still bullied me occasionally and they didn't help my self-esteem. So when I went to Uni which was away from these friends I decided that I would no longer be friends with them. Not that they know that I have decided this, which may be wrong of me and I will be friendly with them if I ever meet them again.
I guess one problem is that I have never made friends, I have always fallen in with my friends and I don't really know, beyond the basics of interacting with someone, how to get into a knew group of friends.
My social phobia is worse with people my own age and when I am trying approach someone but once I have entered into some kind of conversation I find it slightly easier though I am wondering if I am revealing myself to be an idiot.
You don't sound like an idiot at all. I relate to what you said about people your own age, approaching people, and also how to go about making friends. In the past I have fallen into social situations as well, but now it is more difficult. I don't really know how to make a friendship happen out of nowhere, or rather, if I do have friends I see at school, how to make that last, or make it so I see them outside of school, etc. It's difficult to know how to make a group of friends, and approaching people is difficult also. Maybe it takes practice? I wish I knew the answer, if there is one. I have shy parents also; my mom especially is so introverted, and I feel that has contributed to my introverted personality also.
I guess this falls into a nature vs. nurture question, and those are always hard to tease apart. But it's hard to imagine environment not playing at least some part.
Lea
Banned
Well I don´t think conditioning at home or at school plays much role in SA, as I can remember I was shy already in the kindergarten. I played only with my cousin and a few other girls (boys I avoided altogether). Then it continued at school, it was quite hell. But although I have it bad in the family now (since teenage years), when I was a kid the situation was different. I grew up with my grandparents and cousins, and my parents were a lot nicer back then too. My father wasn´t abusive like now. So my SA cannot be blamed on that.. which doesn´t mean it has no effect on my psychic, it does, but it´s likely not a cause of my SA..
Another thing I can remember, I was crying a lot, most of the time. I basically grew up with my 3 weeks younger cousin and compared to her, she almost never cried. It makes me think that the anxious nature is probably inborn..
Another thing I can remember, I was crying a lot, most of the time. I basically grew up with my 3 weeks younger cousin and compared to her, she almost never cried. It makes me think that the anxious nature is probably inborn..
MollyBeGood
Well-known member
alak
Member
My parents grew up poor and ended up as success stories (the "American dream"). I felt a lot of pressure to succeed and get a high paying job. I wanted to be a teacher or a physical therapist maybe when I was a kid but that wasn't "good enough". I put myself under so much pressure that my anxiety was really high. I gave up on trying just to spare my sanity.
Now I regret letting little things like that get to me. Like, my dad was really strict and my mom was wayyy too overprotective. I rarely went out as a teen because I was so afraid and anxious, and that carried over into my young adulthood that I f***ed over too. Now look at me, almost 24 and barely "lived" as an adult because I am so anxious.
Things weren't as bad as I made them out to be at the time, and I am just now growing out of it. I still have the social anxiety though... I don't know if I can ever change at this point.
Now I regret letting little things like that get to me. Like, my dad was really strict and my mom was wayyy too overprotective. I rarely went out as a teen because I was so afraid and anxious, and that carried over into my young adulthood that I f***ed over too. Now look at me, almost 24 and barely "lived" as an adult because I am so anxious.
Things weren't as bad as I made them out to be at the time, and I am just now growing out of it. I still have the social anxiety though... I don't know if I can ever change at this point.
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Richey
Well-known member
Yeah this can have a big change on mood, even adding posters or buying a couch for your room, re-arranging everything. Also if your garden goes from dead and dry to alive and colourful. Also if you get the house to yourself, notice how you are more relaxed? Another thing is what the suburb is like. Is the suburb gloomy and dark or bright and happy. You can see the differences from driving through rich areas near the city and then poorer areas ....
Of course your own personality, if its strong enough can sway outside influences of environment.
Clothers as well. Some people may not have any idea how the come across. You may feel differently wearing a black/blue t-shirt to a white/yellow t-shirt.
All of these things are true.
However what can also change your mood? If you spend a day with someone who is really happy and isn't self conscious, that can help others feel the same, sometimes. maybe.