destructoroflife
Well-known member
It's 4 am here, and I was just thinking about the past, exactly my high school years.
So it's inevitable to compare my state now from my state then.
I graduated with "honors", had one of the highest GPA of my generation. I managed to get perfect test scores in math and sciences, and yet, here I am several years later, a college dropout who has never worked, never had a relationship, fat, yellow teeth and not one ounce of motivation.
What's funny is that most of my classmates from high school, the ones that never exceeded at anything, are working or studying now, probably happier than I will ever be.
I used to visit other SP forum, and there was a guy that lived near my area, he told the story of his life, basically a 30yo man, still living with his parents, dropped college years ago, no stable job. And I read that and told to myself: "Man, that will NEVER be me, I'm glad for that. At least I'm already half way through my career".
But here I am, foreseeing the same future that poor fellow shared.
Right now, I don't want nothing from this existence. I see life and I see death, and neither one appeals to me.
I'm an old man, I feel like I don't want anything else but let things go its course and passively let my being deteriorate and wait to die.
So, did you see it coming too? Your fall? Did your teenager self even wonder if you'd end up in this state?
So it's inevitable to compare my state now from my state then.
I graduated with "honors", had one of the highest GPA of my generation. I managed to get perfect test scores in math and sciences, and yet, here I am several years later, a college dropout who has never worked, never had a relationship, fat, yellow teeth and not one ounce of motivation.
What's funny is that most of my classmates from high school, the ones that never exceeded at anything, are working or studying now, probably happier than I will ever be.
I used to visit other SP forum, and there was a guy that lived near my area, he told the story of his life, basically a 30yo man, still living with his parents, dropped college years ago, no stable job. And I read that and told to myself: "Man, that will NEVER be me, I'm glad for that. At least I'm already half way through my career".
But here I am, foreseeing the same future that poor fellow shared.
Right now, I don't want nothing from this existence. I see life and I see death, and neither one appeals to me.
I'm an old man, I feel like I don't want anything else but let things go its course and passively let my being deteriorate and wait to die.
So, did you see it coming too? Your fall? Did your teenager self even wonder if you'd end up in this state?