When I was a kid I thought the world was divided into 2 groups
Adults and children .I decided that I was of the child group and that I would remain that way forever. Even though all evidence did not support that theory.
The only benefit I saw ,in being an adult ,was that I could do whatever my conscience and reality permitted . I could stay up late ,drink and smoke and wear clothes I choose
not someone elses handmedowns.
I can remember @ 31 driving from work to pick up my son @ latchkey thinking
Omg im big now, and responsible and I dont feel comfortable with this nor do I like it.
I felt so unfree and longed for the summerbreak that would never come again. Like ever.
Retrospectively I see It wasnt such a bad theory.
Being an adult is not a natural chronogical age progression alone.
Just because your bodys matured doesnt mean your mind has.
I ve observed many adults defy logic, reason and behave more like children throughout my life than my own son has.
Maybe we should stop raising children and start raising adults.
I think my SA symptoms were always present and I tried my best to live with it.
I became increasingly ill because I found the behavior of other so called adults so disparaging that I just decided to check out of society I got tired of fighting them and didnt wish to join them so now Im on ssd. Because the way the world works is exhausting to me.