R3K
Well-known member
so i don't know if anyone's been following my occasional journal entry things but, i'll assume not many have. basically i've taken a huge step in the last 7 months or so. left my old comfortable job and joined my buddy's restaurant that he's the head chef of as a waiter (huge increase in volume of social interaction required for this job now.)
i got through the initial bumps and scrapes of being a newbie with only a few mental scars. good amount of anxiety attacks, and i threw up right before my first day. i'm actually doing alright though, and my social motivation has increased, my anxiety generally decreased so it feels like a good thing overall.
now the twist in the story (cause nothing's ever easy or predictable in life)-- i'd been straight edge (no drugs/cigarrettes/aclohol) for the first 27 of my 32 years on this planet. and even when i did start drinking it was very sporadic and light. now, there's this cute 22 year old girl who's a waitress at my job (i'm 32 mind you,) and i feel like i'm getting a lot of flirty attention from her. but, in consulting with my best friend who's also our boss, he paints her as the (insert nice word for "slutty") type of girl and that she acts flirty toward everyone.
long story short, i feel like i'm falling for her devious mechanisms, like she's trying to lead me on for her own entertainment, and all our co-workers talk behind my back about it. i had her over to my house (which i live in with my boss) and she brought a bottle of vodka. between the two of us we killed the bottle and it was a crazy time, though nothing sexual happened. she actually threw up and fell asleep. i couldn't hide the mess from my boss/friend, so he found out about it. eventually my coworkers found out about it also, and somehow the story's been contorted in such a way that paints me as an impotent loser with erectile disfunction.
the way i see it is, my friend leaked it to one of my coworkers who then asked her about it in front of everyone, putting her on the spot. she probably said something like "nothing happened blah blah," and then one of the guys said "ooo jason (me) couldn't get it up" and now i'm the object of a really anxiety-inducing joke. to say nothing about the stress it's causing her, if any. i'm not even sure of the facts, it could be that she painted me as a sexually impotent loser from the start for her own fun.
either way, i'm confused as to what her motives are in all this, and with my increased social confidence lately, i feel more than capable of doing something about this situation to repair my stature. however, i'm wondering if i should just chalk it all up as irrelevant drama. i'm also worried i might fall back into my anti-social shell in order to deal with this stress/anxiety, which would technically be a step backward.
it's hard for me to ask for advice, and i rarely post on here, but if anyone has an idea of what i should do about this situation i'd appreciate your help.
i got through the initial bumps and scrapes of being a newbie with only a few mental scars. good amount of anxiety attacks, and i threw up right before my first day. i'm actually doing alright though, and my social motivation has increased, my anxiety generally decreased so it feels like a good thing overall.
now the twist in the story (cause nothing's ever easy or predictable in life)-- i'd been straight edge (no drugs/cigarrettes/aclohol) for the first 27 of my 32 years on this planet. and even when i did start drinking it was very sporadic and light. now, there's this cute 22 year old girl who's a waitress at my job (i'm 32 mind you,) and i feel like i'm getting a lot of flirty attention from her. but, in consulting with my best friend who's also our boss, he paints her as the (insert nice word for "slutty") type of girl and that she acts flirty toward everyone.
long story short, i feel like i'm falling for her devious mechanisms, like she's trying to lead me on for her own entertainment, and all our co-workers talk behind my back about it. i had her over to my house (which i live in with my boss) and she brought a bottle of vodka. between the two of us we killed the bottle and it was a crazy time, though nothing sexual happened. she actually threw up and fell asleep. i couldn't hide the mess from my boss/friend, so he found out about it. eventually my coworkers found out about it also, and somehow the story's been contorted in such a way that paints me as an impotent loser with erectile disfunction.
the way i see it is, my friend leaked it to one of my coworkers who then asked her about it in front of everyone, putting her on the spot. she probably said something like "nothing happened blah blah," and then one of the guys said "ooo jason (me) couldn't get it up" and now i'm the object of a really anxiety-inducing joke. to say nothing about the stress it's causing her, if any. i'm not even sure of the facts, it could be that she painted me as a sexually impotent loser from the start for her own fun.
either way, i'm confused as to what her motives are in all this, and with my increased social confidence lately, i feel more than capable of doing something about this situation to repair my stature. however, i'm wondering if i should just chalk it all up as irrelevant drama. i'm also worried i might fall back into my anti-social shell in order to deal with this stress/anxiety, which would technically be a step backward.
it's hard for me to ask for advice, and i rarely post on here, but if anyone has an idea of what i should do about this situation i'd appreciate your help.
: Don't think automatically she said something like that. Don't mind the guy who started the rumour, that's how some guys are. :
