Convinced that everyone hates me

[Marie_knowsbest]

it might be a case that the reason why u feel more anxious if you relax is because ur opening urself up, which makes u feel more vunerable. ive always seen SA as more of a coping mechanism. because if you avoid social situation, you havent got to deal with them, and there for you no theres 0% chance of being hurt. where as if you in the situation and your open, u get anxious because ur almost waiting for some sorta ridical. tell me if im wrong. get if this right then being anxious but remaining in the situation is a big step foward. the more you do this, the less anxious ull become.

 

[Argamemnon]

You are right, that's exactly how I feel. This saturday I spend an entire day with my relatives and felt really anxious. I tried to open myself up, but couldn't. I guess I should continue trying, even if I have to endure inhumane amounts of anxiety.

 

[faithnomore]

I actually think everyone DOES hate me. Right now at least. No one really cares, and I dont seem to be of any importance at all.

 

[Godiva]

With SA the last thing on your mind should be what others think of you. I use to be obsessed with what others thought of me. I use to approach a circle of co workers whispering and wonder about all the negative things they were saying. Most of the time I'll be nosy and ask someone and it would be about something that had absolutely nothing to do with me. Other times it may have been about me.. however I started to change my behavior and not care what they were whispering about. There is nothing that anyone could say that would define who I am as a person. I reaffirm myself with positive thoughts. I have a life outside of work so my existence is not dependent on them. With SA you have to really not care what ANYONE thinks of you. You have to be sure of yourself and who you are and if being yourself around others is not acceptable you can find a new environment to hang. If it is at work remember you are there to make that money and go home to friends and family.

 

[akele]

for 2 and a half years i was thinking some of the people at work didnt like me. i even took 3 months off work as i couldnt bear the thought of going out there. finally i went back, and not long after, i heard some nice comments about myself, eg. that i was 'great to work with', which amazed me. i thought there might be someone else with the same name, but no, it was actually me the person was referring to. from that moment, i felt i had no excuse to ever think people were looking down on me again, and my whole attituded has changed to where i really enjoy going to work, and i feel accepted. i realized that what i had had perceived as people not liking me for all that time was all in my own head. it was some eye opener. if i was still relgious i would think God let me hear that comment, to help me on my way. whatever, i wish it would happen to others here, so that you could find out for sure that so much of this is just in our own minds.
akele

 

[cobalt_bluester]

Hi Recluse. You and I are in the same boat. If you want to chat please get in touch.

 

[recluse]

how old r u if u dont mind me asking recluse?

i think in order to help yourself. you need to work out exactly:

where your SA started? was it a particular event? a certain change in your life?

what is it exactly that makes you get edgy in social situations? what are your thoughts in your head when this happens? and what does it make you wanna do?

i think in order to come through things such as SA, you have to forget all the SA events of the past, like example last week when u felt on edge in tesco's and just look foward treat every new event like its the first time its happened, ur not gonna feel 100% comfortable with yourself over night, it sometimes takes years, but keeping that in mind is key to stuff like this, its called forgiving urself for making mistakes.

also just advice from my own expereince - amoungst all of this dont try to get on with everyone because you have something to proove. if you dont like someone, then u just dont like em! dont feel theres a need to get on with them or if you dont theres something wrong with you, its natural to have some people that u just dunno wot to talk about with! awkwards silences arent just limited to SA sufferers! lol.

the hole point in this process is to find out where u feel comfortable, like whats true to you and to stay true to you, to eliminate SA is not to be always happy, lively and sociable, its to be these things where u feel like doing it naturally, and still bein miserable where u feel comfortable too!

i think alot of you suffer from i wanna be happy and i want it now syndrome. truth is no ones always happy, but people should feel natural. and thats what its about.

sorry long post ay!!!

I don't mind at all!....I'm a guy! I'm 27

I was picked on for various reasons from primary school, even the girls at school would pick on me. At 14 i suffered from anorexia, and a breakdown, then at after being cured my parents split causing me to become more withdrawn, went to college at 16 got picked on again because of my shyness, parents got back together still felt like shit, got messed around bu some girl, got my first full time job at the age of 20 got picked on there etc etc etc.

Yeah so my whole life i have been alienated.

 

[Marie_knowsbest]

recluse, i am sorry if you thought that maybe i was trying to be horrible to you or anything like that, i know thats how i can come accross, but i truly mean well, i care about people, people in general and it just pains me to see otherwise healthy people beat them selves up so much. it sounds like you've had a tough life mate. but i feel like, maybe its time to let go of the past? i know you have SA now...and trust me when i say nothings harder than letting go of something, which has shaped u into who u r today, its hard to break the mould and i truly feel for you.

what you need to do though mate, is stop lettin bastards from your past make u feel like shit today! if we remembered every piece or critism or name calling, then we would be very upset destraught people. people can be creul. and to be honest, people only name call people who they kno arent going to react and do one better. thats not to say its right. i guess what im sayin is, dont let bastards of yeserday, today and tomoro shape how ur gonna feel next week. find alternative help and resources, just keep tryin!!! the more u talk about why u have sa now, and whats happened in the past the more ur gonna carry on living in it.

ive been beaten up before by 3 people i was out with as friends when i was 15. it was at a park, and it was all fenced in. some wanker held the gate door so i couldnt get out. i got punched in the head 3 times, and managed to leg it. luckily these girls werent that strong, i didnt have a mark on me. but i was emotionally very hurt. thing is. looking back i had seen these people do similar things to people before me. so i was stupid for hangin out with em in the first place. it didnt matter if it was me or someone else that night, same thing woulda happened, but ya know. looking back i have no opinion on it. i dont care anymore! imagin what it would be like if i based everyone i met on those 3 girls? i wouldnt trust no one! but u cant live like that. u just have to make good choices.

anyways. hope thats been of some help to ya.

 

[Marie_knowsbest]

recluse, i am sorry if you thought that maybe i was trying to be horrible to you or anything like that, i know thats how i can come accross, but i truly mean well, i care about people, people in general and it just pains me to see otherwise healthy people beat them selves up so much. it sounds like you've had a tough life mate. but i feel like, maybe its time to let go of the past? i know you have SA now...and trust me when i say nothings harder than letting go of something, which has shaped u into who u r today, its hard to break the mould and i truly feel for you.

what you need to do though mate, is stop lettin bastards from your past make u feel like shit today! if we remembered every piece or critism or name calling, then we would be very upset destraught people. people can be creul. and to be honest, people only name call people who they kno arent going to react and do one better. thats not to say its right. i guess what im sayin is, dont let bastards of yeserday, today and tomoro shape how ur gonna feel next week. find alternative help and resources, just keep tryin!!! the more u talk about why u have sa now, and whats happened in the past the more ur gonna carry on living in it.

ive been beaten up before by 3 people i was out with as friends when i was 15. it was at a park, and it was all fenced in. some wanker held the gate door so i couldnt get out. i got punched in the head 3 times, and managed to leg it. luckily these girls werent that strong, i didnt have a mark on me. but i was emotionally very hurt. thing is. looking back i had seen these people do similar things to people before me. so i was stupid for hangin out with em in the first place. it didnt matter if it was me or someone else that night, same thing woulda happened, but ya know. looking back i have no opinion on it. i dont care anymore! imagin what it would be like if i based everyone i met on those 3 girls? i wouldnt trust no one! but u cant live like that. u just have to make good choices.

anyways. hope thats been of some help to ya.

 

[recluse]

No i didn't think you were being horrible, i think that you are a good person at heart.

I have a hard time letting go of the past instead of living in the present. I think i have ocd because i dwell on thoughts and think obsessively..I sometimes get attacks when i remember something that upset me from years ago.

 

[Argamemnon]

Today I went to visit some relatives together with my parents. They mostly talked to my parents and ignored me. They didn't seem to listen to me at all. I'm sick and tired that people treat me differently everywhere, it's terribly depressing.

How can I like myself when nobody likes me? It is a fact that people don't enjoy being around me, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind.

 

[recluse]

I feel like that argemmenon. I feel as if i am invisible but at the same time self conscious. I use to get jealous when school friends came around and they would talk more to my parents!

I remember when i used to be in a cycling club and i never did too well in races, and i used to get jealous when my dad would praise the other kids who did well as if i was invisible, i had to force myself to not cry because i didn't feel as if he was my dad o'r something.