Common similarities amoung SAers

[theblank]

1) Middle child (do I win a prize or something?)
2) Look young for my age (and always have...even when I was a baby)
3) Overprotective mother (but a good one nonetheless)
4) Average student in high school (wasn't interested in most of the subjects), excellent student in college (finally got to take some more interesting classes), never really a teacher's pet
5) Try to get things perfect in life, but it seldom happens
6) Loved basic math; hated everything from algebra on
7) Non-comformist in the sense that I try and do my own thing in life and am nothing like most people my age who are married, have kids, own homes and have stable careers
8) Not a controlling person
9) Above average intelligence (but also kind of stupid so go figure)
10) LOVE cats and dogs but have never owned either
11) Self employed (with long stretches of unemployment mixed because I get so confused)
12) HUGE underachiever

 

[princess_haru]

I definitely value wisdom a lot though....I'd rather be enlightened and depressed than ignorant and happy.

i think?!

Haha yeah, I feel the same way! I've been reading some Dawkins lately and I'm finding that his relentlessly scientific approach to life isn't depressing me at all - when I was younger I'd have felt that it was taking all the "wonder and magic" out of life, but now I'm beginning to realise how much my perception has changed since then

 

[mylifephails]

i think i was a little overprotective .. my mom worries about me alot.. but that was in the past.. now i rarley talk to her cuz we live in diffrent countries.. umm i think i look a little younger.. but some say i look older -.-" so im not sure

 

[206Raider]

youngest child
protective mom
no girlfriend although girls have liked me but my SA pushes em away
grew up isolated, had friends but always went home after school to stay in my room
never got picked on, people liked me but I was just quiet
bad childhood in a lot of different ways
non conformist
I'm 20, people still think I'm 15 (once they weren't gonna let me buy a CD becuase of PA!)
underachiever, I can't keep a job

 

[Island_chic]

Yes! To all of the above

 

[Justas]

1. yes
2. yes
3. overprotective mother and father
4. definetly no, teachers hated me
5. sometimes
6. I liked math at school, but at university no
7. definetily yes
8. no
9. maybe, i never did a real IQ test or smth... But a lot of people say that i'm smart
10. love cats and dogs and i want a cat
11. unemployed, yes(trying to find a job with no luck)
12. underachiever, yes and huge one

 

[Ashiene]

I have to say I've noticed that people here generally make far more effort to write coherent, thoughtful posts than people do on sites like facebook and myspace. A lot of what you get on the net tends to look like the result of a drugged-up fight between two crazed keyboards with half their keys missing. That only ever happens here when we get the occasional troll with a fetish for exclamation marks and RANDOm USE of tEH SHift Key!!!!!! ::

I think that's because here we choose our words carefully so as not to appear stupid or dumb and embarrass ourselves. Even online, we have SA but not as severe as in real life.

 

[Ashiene]

that reminds me of how kids were raised in ancient sparta iirc... Making them speak only when spoken to and forbidding them to make eye contact with people in the street (among other things) trained them to be some of the most humble and witty adults in ancient greek society... There should be some spartan quotes lying around if you search them.

/random tidbit ::

"this is spartaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

 

[princess_haru]

I think that's because here we choose our words carefully so as not to appear stupid or dumb and embarrass ourselves. Even online, we have SA but not as severe as in real life.

That could be it, yeah. I tend to think about what I'm typing instead of just flinging a random message into cyberspace, because I don't want my words to be misunderstood or laughed at ::

That reminds me of how kids were raised in ancient Sparta iirc... Making them speak only when spoken to and forbidding them to make eye contact with people in the street (among other things) trained them to be some of the most humble and witty adults in ancient Greek society... There should be some Spartan quotes lying around if you search them.

/Random tidbit ::

Here's an interesting one I've just found:

"An old man wandering around the Olympic Games looking for a seat was jeered at by the crowd until he reached the seats of the Spartans, whereupon every Spartan younger than him, and some that were older, stood up and offered him their seat. The crowd applauded and the old man turned to them with a sigh, saying "All Greeks know what is right, but only the Spartans do it."

 

[this_portrait]

I am the youngest of all my half-siblings, but since none of them were really living with me for very long in the house, it's like I grew up as an only child.

Yes, my mother was overprotective. She still tends to be (unless I tell her to calm the hell down). Not for nothing, though. The reason she was much more protective of me is because my sister, when she was 7, was molested by our own grandmother's (now ex-) boyfriend. She didn't tell my mom until after she had turned 18 and moved out of the house, and she still has never gotten help for it.


I was a pretty good student, but I wasn't a teacher's pet. I do tend to fall into being a perfectionist, and all throughout high school, I strived to be a non-conformist. I guess you could also say I'm pretty intelligent.

And for the longest time, I had a cat, who I spent more time around than any friends I've ever had.

 

[LostViking]

Has anybody else noticed that there seem to be some common similarities amoungst people with SA? Here's a few I've noticed already;

1. The youngest child [EDIT: or eldest child (rarely middle child)]
2. Appear younger than actual age
3. overprotective mother [EDIT: or guardian]
4. Good student/ teachers pet

Are there any others?

EDIT: some more possibles

5. Perfectionist?
6. Mathematical/all or nothing type of brain?
7. Non-conformist?
8. control freak?
9. intelligent?
10. have cats or dogs?
11. unemployed or on disability?
12. underachieving?

1: Fairly close to middle child actually (out of 6)

2: I'm not getting asked for ID when buying cigarettes anymore after I got a beard, guessing that this will start again if I shave though. I'm 22, but probably look younger beneath all the hair.

3: Yes, mother with severe schizophrenia (don't ask why she wasn't picked up by healthcare before she got the chance to raise me for way too many years). Very overprotective and paranoid.

4: I did very well until the local equivalent of high school, where I began not giving a crap (yet still getting away with above average grades). Had good relations to some teachers at least, the ones who had classes that I was actually interested in seemed to like me.

5: Depends. I need to have things done my way at least, but I've had issues with OCD when I was younger so some of my perfectionism is forced (haven't manage to eradicate the crap entirely).

6: I fail horribly at math, it's really not my thing. I don't consider myself dumb, but when it comes to this subject I'm absolutely in the "nothing"-department.

7: Yes, I have an urge to storm every Bastille I see. And to play the Devil's advocate just to provoke people. At least to the extent I'm able with my anxiety and social issues.

8: Could say so. See part about OCD further up. Feeling there's something out of my control also furthers my anxiety. F.ex I can't control what other people think about me.

9: Haven't taken any sort of IQ test, but I imagine I wouldn't have a very impressive score. As I said earlier, I don't consider myself dumb, but math and the stuff in traditional IQ tests generally bears no interest to me and thus I couldn't give less of a crap when I sit down with one.

10: Yes, recently got a dog.

11: In rehabilitation (No, I'm not a junkie). It's the local welfare program that allows me to receive money to survive, while I'm in treatment and try to get well enough to study full-time.

12: Dunno to be fair. I give up easily though, and taken flak from a friend on quite a few occasions that I underestimate myself.

 

[ripewithdecay]

1. The youngest child - yes
2. Appear younger than actual age - im told on a regular basis i look 15-17 when im almost 24
3. overprotective mother - when she was around, yes
4. Good student/ teachers pet - no, skipped classes too much
5. Perfectionist? - yes
6. Mathematical/all or nothing type of brain? - yes
7. Non-conformist? - yes
8. control freak? - no, i don't think so at all. i always used to just lay down and roll over on command more than anything
9. intelligent? - above average i guess
10. have cats or dogs? - no
11. unemployed or on disability? - no, been working since i was 15
12. underachieving? - absolutely, story of my life

 

[Ciorsdan]

None of those apply to me.

'cept for maybe one.



Maybe.

 

[Aviva]

1. The eldest, with an 8 years younger sister.

2. I was thinking so but three men have been telling me the contrary lately... at least one of them can't be totally trusted though, haha.

3. Not especially overprotective, but anxious

4. Very good student to begin with, but I totally stopped working at one point and went to very mediocre. I'm not really the typical teacher's pet.

5. Perfectionist? Yes

6. I have a love/hate relationship with maths, but it tends to be hate more often than not. All or nothing... yeah.

7. I've been trying hard to be the perfect conformist, but I've never been able to fool people very long. Now I just try to do what makes sense to me... if people call that non-conformism (and they do), so be it lol.

8. Control freak? I guess yes.

9. Intelligent? I used to be, but I have dedicated myself to being stupid for such a long time that I'm not sure I still have anything in common with that person.

10. Have cats or dogs? Yes.....

11. Unemployed or on disability? Student, looking for a first real summer job (I'm 19)

12. Underachieving? Yes

 

[freestylemonster]

1. The youngest/oldest child - oldest

2. Appear younger than actual age - Yeah everybody says I do, that's why I keeps a little facial hair now

3. overprotective mother - definitely, also overprotective dad. They do everything for me too

4. Good student/ teachers pet - not really...Just an average student

5. Perfectionist? - not at all

6. Mathematical/all or nothing type of brain? - meh

7. Non-conformist? - ooh yeah... noticed this one too

8. control freak? - not at all...I'm extremely laid back and easy going

9. intelligent? - about average

10. have cats or dogs? - a kitty named Oreo

11. unemployed or on disability? - yep...unemployed and lovin it!!

12. underachieving? - oooooooh yeah

As a side note I've also noticed that SAers tend to be more mature and and more easy going than most people...Could just be because we're too scared to act immature though

 

[livingnsilence]

1. The youngest child [EDIT: or eldest child (rarely middle child)]: Oldest
2. Appear younger than actual age:yes
3. overprotective mother: quite the opposite. My mom always tried to get me to do things to get me out of my shell and was never strict, in fact she's the one who convinced me to rush a sorority.
4. Good student/ teachers pet: good student, well if you mean gets good grades yes, but I sleep in class, walk in thirty minutes late if I show up at all and doodle or work on homework instead of paying attention, so teachers tend not to like me.
5. Perfectionist? Only when it comes to art, everything else, no
6. Mathematical/all or nothing type of brain? Science and slightly mathmatical
7. Non-conformist? Yes and no
8. control freak? No, I don't like having control because control means predictability which means boredom to me
9. intelligent? Yes
10. have cats or dogs? I would if I could afford it
11. unemployed or on disability? Unemployed for now but I'll get a job soon, hopefully
12. underachieving? not under or over, I just do what I need to do

 

[NormanBates]

Well here's a random though combining the intelligence and social awkwardness of an SAer:
Someone is intelligent because they know a lot of things, and they know a lot of things because they ask a lot of questions.. and someone who asks a lot of questions is usually considered a bit of a pest. And certainly a pest must have had bad experiences in social settings. The end product: an intelligent socialphobic. yea or nay ?

 

[higuy]

1. The youngest child [EDIT: or eldest child (rarely middle child)]: oldest
2. Appear younger than actual age: I am told this all the time
3. overprotective mother: definitely
4. Good student/ teachers pet: more or less
5. Perfectionist? with most things
6. Mathematical/all or nothing type of brain? yes
7. Non-conformist? I suppose so. Haven't really thought about it.
8. control freak? yes, even though I'll often turn down opportunities to be in control
9. intelligent? probably yes
10. have cats or dogs? Grew up with cats. My parents have the best one ever!
11. unemployed or on disability? no
12. underachieving? Often if something involves social interaction. Otherwise no.

 

[CeeJay1981]

I'm constantly searching for the root cause of my SA. I believe that it comes down to trust. At some time in the past we were emotionally traumatized. Consequently, our subconscious minds concluded that people are dangerous, or potentially dangerous, and you need to watch out. Unfortunately, going through life "watching out" is not really a very healthy way to live.

Luckily, there are several useful tools out there that can help neutralise the emotional charge on these negative past traumas and free us up to start focussing on what we WANT instead of constantly focussing on what we DON'T WANT

 

[Joanne Bruce]

Wow, I am the yougest, I look way younger than I am (that is difficult when you are trying to look your age, i never thought of that), I am very nice to others even though I could care less about getting to know them. Not proud of that one, social anxiety for ya.