hmm.....a lot of people are the eldest child! that's interesting! I wonder how many people are middle children? Or whether, of those who are the eldest child, your second oldest sibling is more than 6-7 years younger than you?...i.e. as the saying goes, "give me the child until he is seven and I will show you the man". Maybe the eldest child feels more pressure, or maybe they're smothered more by their parents....or maybe it's totally unrelated?!
I'm actually number 4 of 6! but my two younger sisters are more than 8 years younger than me, so for the most part of my childhood I was the youngest....therefore I was the butt of most of the jokes growing up! I think also having two older brothers meant that they'd used up all the testosterone and so I came out kind of girly and babyfaced! lol! ....and then with my mum always sticking up for me, I don't think I ever learnt to defend myself properly.
You know, this whole thread got me thinking about whether a lot of middle children get SA or not- because it does seem to be a lot of oldest/youngest children that have it- just looking at the replies here. I actually read a book years back on birth order- and it seems to make sense here as well.
First borns/only children tend to be over-achievers/perfectionists- they have only their parents to look up to and get the brunt of their hopes/aspirations, and feel the need to constantly achieve to get attention. First borns can also get a "defeated" personality- because if they don't achieve, they could feel worthless and like they'll never measure up and quit trying.
Youngest children tend to be the little "prince" or "princess" of the family, and are typically hams that usually try to entertain people to get the attention they crave. This could be trouble if they are unable to get this attention, or they get the wrong kind of attention or negative feedback when they try to assert themselves.
Middle children often feel out of place in the family- forgotten about and unable to compete. They often look outside the family unit for attention and companionship. They also tend to be good mediators, and can be good at reading people. It seems that this could be why we may not see many of them with SA- because from an early age they were naturally interacting with the outside world rather than keeping to themselves or within the family unit.
Large gaps between children can start the process over again- a 7-8 year difference could create a new "first-born" type personality in the new child- and the next oldest could still pretty much keep their youngest born traits. There is also the possibility that you have two first borns- a first born male and first born female- this happened in my mom's family- her brother is 3 years older than she is, but they both have first-born personalities because back then (and perhaps still now) different things were expected from girls than from boys.
These are just generalizations though, and I think that some people may be able to have mixed traits as well- so I'm not saying that this would predict exactly how a person will behave. There are other mitigating factors as well, such as the type of parents you have, and cultural and environmental influences as well.
The book is called "The Birth Order Book: Why you are the way you are" by Dr. Kevin Leman if anyone is interested. It has a Christian slant, but I think is still overall a very interesting read.
