Can't talk

[MoonBoom]

Hey. Was just thinking how hard it is to speak. Do you ever find yourself in a situation where you know what you want to say, can even relate or have a funny joke, or a story you want to say, but simply don't speak, feel you're out of place, and others see you as someone you're not. People have a false image of you, just because you can't speak, or say things in the heat of feeling anxiety you don't mean. That sound stupid.

I think that's the most frustrating part of the whole thing. It's only being able to think straight when alone. That others don't understand and have a false image of you in person, because of what I feel at least I can control, but yet have no control over.
I know the things I want to say for OTHERS to understand, but feel so helpless that I myself can't convey that, and all the while, they think differently of me because of it.

This is really just a rant. I wanted to say a few things, not looking for responses. At the same time happy to be able to rant to someone when I have no one. Thanks for reading.

 

[MikeyC]

I don't usually have trouble speaking but oftentimes I'll keep my thoughts and feelings to myself because I feel nobody would listen/care and I'd be wasting my breath.

 

[Fen]

Well, sometimes I feel like you because of my shyness, but I'd say that my problem is that I do not have anything to say. With others I never know what to say.
I think I could open a thread about that...

 

[moon_x]

Yeah, im like that. I normally say something stupid becos I was too nervous to think of something to say. These days i'm getting better now. Someone confident told me that they also have anxiety too, and its just the matter of thinking that no one is any more or less better than you, you just have to treat them as a person whos just like yourself. That really is the key.

People say that they are normal and wont understand us. But thats not really true, the people who are psychologist or invented these really great personality quiz are confident people who are good mind readers. I think to be able to be confident, taking advise from a confident person is the step.

my communication is mostly anxiety related, I can only talk properly to someone if they are like me or one-2-one.

 

[SeniorRedrings]

The trouble with expressing oneself online,in text,it is so easy.But to talk,to actually converse with another human being,then I come up against the familiar problem of what I want to say not sounding quite how I thought it would when I rehearsed it in my head.
I am terrified of making that leap into the verbal,terrified of not being able to say that thing to make a person like me,and then of saying another misjudged thing on top of that which will make them like me even less.
At times I feel like I am ready to do it,I feel the power of an opera singer welling in my lungs,but my first attempt at sound reduces my potential bellow into a wheeze.

 

[Aletheia]

I'd say that my problem is that I do not have anything to say.

This is my problem too. When I'm anxious, my mind goes utterly blank.

Even when I can think of something to contribute, it's often a massive effort that leaves me exhausted.

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

Happens to me all the time. Usually I get so anxious that my throat gets all constricted and my voice either comes out all raspy and muffled or doesn't come out at all, which makes those kinds of situations all the more awkward for me.

 

[DeadmanWalking]

Similar to what Mikey said, I'm in a situation where I would speak, but I get the feeling that no one would care to hear what I have to say. But, sometimes, when I do find it within me to speak, my mouth locks up.

 

[BlueDays]

I can totally relate to the frustration you speak of MoonBoom.

Often I am thinking about and editing a response to topic being discussed by the people around me and by the time I have figured out in my head what I will say about it, the people have moved onto another topic!

 

[KiaKaha]

I am sort of a combination of everything. I think I know what you mean though, its what I was trying to get at in one of my threads before. "People have a false image of you" rings true for me. Because of my anxiety I think I get portrayed in a certain way. I have been in social type situations where some of the things I say are convoluted and strange sounding, all because of my nerves. Sometimes its hard to think of things to say, OR if I do think of something to say, i hesitate (for fear of it sounding stupid) and not say it at all.

 

[Zav]

I usually know what I should say, but I just suck with words and often embarrass myself. So I just don't talk, usually, unless I'm damn sure I'll come up with something fitting.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

Yeah, it does feel like I just can't talk. That has frustrated me all my life. Sometimes I do have things to say, and other times my mind is just blank. These days I am just saying whatever comes to mind. It is a new thing I am trying and it is working out well. I haven't made any big blunders yet.

 

[Aletheia]

These days I am just saying whatever comes to mind.

Awesome.

I think it's really important to trust yourself and be natural. I think people respond to that.

Sadly, if I do say something stupid, it makes me never want to speak ever again.

 

[Srijita52]

Yep, sometimes I do feel like this. Maybe its because I tend to filter too much cos I'm afraid that I'll say something stupid or irrelevant.

 

[bitingthepea]

Same here
I find it so hard at work, and if i could communicate more effectively with people id be so much happier.
Have even been on some crappy communication training i paid a lot of money for, but my conifdence will not grow

 

[Aletheia]

Yep, sometimes I do feel like this. Maybe its because I tend to filter too much cos I'm afraid that I'll say something stupid or irrelevant.

Yeah, filter filter filter til there's nothing left.

 

[Nala]

My speech doesn't sound normal (I have a lisp and other problems), so I usually avoid talking, because my speech sounds, well... to put it bluntly: retarded.

I'm always deeply ashamed of myself when I speak.

 

[SeniorRedrings]

*hugs*

 

[cowboyup]

Funny thing is, Most often, I have trouble even forming sentences & other times, it seems ok - rather I seem more normal. IDK. But most times, yes it is frustrating and makes you feel like running the opposite direction - far far away.