Can't stop staring at people

[Kiwong]

My problem is looking away quickly. I'm too anxious to even look at anyone for long.

 

[HiddenGirl01]

I've gotten much better now.

 

[zen_mistress]

I have this problem too : ( .

 

[zen_mistress]

And I am hoping to join the facebook group.

 

[ohdude]

hey, i wonder how do our eyes look like when we are staring. Could someone make a vid for this and post on youtube? Then we have a sense of how other people think about us. ::

I think it either looks like this...

I gess the eyes are excessively opened, as if we were experiencing fear...


Or like this...

Like if the eyes were unfocused...
But the worst thing is that this girl has her head down, so it gives her a creepy look.

I think the solution may be keep the head up, focus on something and just ignore other people...

Good luck

 

[MrJones]

^And smile! I don't think most people would feel comfortable talking with those girls, the first one looks scared and the second one looks drunk

 

[ohdude]

^And smile! I don't think most people would feel comfortable talking with those girls, the first one looks scared and the second one looks drunk

Just giving my contribution... hope it helps someone cause this really sucks...
::

I've also been having this problem...
I guess my presense makes people uncomfortable, because sometimes people get really irritated, and I can tell it's because of me...
When I face them they're straring at me with a angry expression...
And I'm like...
Wtf I wasn't even looking at you (sometimes they are behind me, I couldn't even see them)...

Anyway, I don't get it...
Does anyone have this problem?

 

[Falkor]

This is the exact problem I have! I feel so embarrassed when I do this.. problem is, I do it every single day.. How to stop this ??::

 

[dancingintherain]

When I'm walking down a street in a city or town I do this, stare at people.
I look at their human behavior, their flaws, what makes them tic
I then I find not many would stare back and I find myself to be alien ::

 

[ohdude]

I'm a very relaxed dude...
And I think my eyes look like the boy's at right...

When I'm relaxed and talk to anybody I can see I make them uncomfortable...
They either look away or force them selves to mantain eye contact (their eyes open a lot, like the ones from the boy at right from previou picture)...



The thing is when I force my self to focus on the conversation, others will be comfortable talking with me and making eye contact and I will be too...
Like this man's eyes...

Other thing I just realized is...
When you think in something, you will unconsciously look at it...

So I know that focusing works for me, but I can't always be focused for some reason I don't know...
It's like I can't focus my eyes...
Any advice??

 

[bladeds]

That top pictures is from the show weeds

 

[ohdude]

That top pictures is from the show weeds

Yes, the moment I saw shane's eyes I realized how creepy I look...

The thing is, I gess sometimes I look like him, I don't know why but I can't control it...

I wish I knew how to control it...

 

[zen_mistress]

Everyone who has this staring problem, join the Facebook group a few pages back!

 

[runninem]

If I join that facebook group will it be blasted all over my wall?

 

[lawrencelol]

OMG, i have the same thing! I thought i was the only one. In class, i always sit on the right side of the room to avoid having people in my line of sight when i'm writing, bc i tilt my head to the right when i write, so i feel people in the row over think i'm staring at them. I guess i'm a little diff than you though, bc i dont ever look at the person all the way, just out of my peripherals, but i CANT stop it. Im WAYYY to scared to look at their face to actualy see if they notice me. But!...worse than in class, is when im watching tv with people, even friends, i get distracted by being in other people line of sight, and i cant pay attention to the tv, bc all i can think about is if im making this person uncomfortable, and if they notice how uncomfortable i am. ALSO, in the car its bad for me, especially when im drive, and then ESPECIALLY when i need to change lanes, and look in my side view mirror, forget about it, thats terrible anxiety i get right there.

And, also this only started happening to me in college, when my SAD started happening, never even thought about these things when i was younger. I am guessing it just goes hand and hand with the self consciousness of SAD.

Me too.But my problem were very serious.ppl were saying that im pretending.I ive been this problem seen 3 years ago.Im still waiting for a cure to this problem.can anyone tell me what can i do?

 

[lawrencelol]

OMG, i have the same thing! I thought i was the only one. In class, i always sit on the right side of the room to avoid having people in my line of sight when i'm writing, bc i tilt my head to the right when i write, so i feel people in the row over think i'm staring at them. I guess i'm a little diff than you though, bc i dont ever look at the person all the way, just out of my peripherals, but i CANT stop it. Im WAYYY to scared to look at their face to actualy see if they notice me. But!...worse than in class, is when im watching tv with people, even friends, i get distracted by being in other people line of sight, and i cant pay attention to the tv, bc all i can think about is if im making this person uncomfortable, and if they notice how uncomfortable i am. ALSO, in the car its bad for me, especially when im drive, and then ESPECIALLY when i need to change lanes, and look in my side view mirror, forget about it, thats terrible anxiety i get right there.

And, also this only started happening to me in college, when my SAD started happening, never even thought about these things when i was younger. I am guessing it just goes hand and hand with the self consciousness of SAD.

How do u cure it?

 

[Gidi]

I wear sun glasses on the train to avoid eye contact with other people....maybe you should try it and see if it works for you

 

[SoScared]

I've suffer from this problem for almost over 5 years now. What worst is that I look extreamly scary. Imagine yourself meeting someone like me with a stareing problem and looking like a serial killer at the same time... God. You can't imagine how many times i want to put a bullet in my head. If I was to cry I would cry out rivers of blood.

Its great (actually not) to see other people having the same problem. One thing I notice is that you HAVE to RELAX your eyes while also forcing yourself to look at people and never look down even when you are extreamly embarrass. But forcing yourself to look at people is still not enough you have to talk to people and do all the things that you are scared to do in order to gain a bit of norm in your life. No matter how hard or painful it is to look. You have to FORCE yourself.

Its really important to RELAX your eyes everyday. Don't think. Just go with the flow and just focus on your primary objective. Whenever you feel confuse or extreamly nervous, take a deep breath and remember to RELAX and focus.

ALSO its really IMPORTANT to NEVER focus on MOVING OBJECTS. MOVING OBJECTS (PEOPLE) is your main problem. FORCE yourself to RELAX and FOCUS while not paying attention to MOVING OBJECTS (PEOPLE, CARS, ETC...)

just my 2 cents.

Thanks for your 2 cents worth. It really helps me as I tend to stare at people alot. Your are right that relaxation is the key. When I am relaxed and safe I don't stare which is wonderful. However that is not often the case.

For me the secret is not starting to stare as the people come into my vision in the first place. But in reality I am normally anxies/scared of people as soon as they come into sight and my body tenses and I feel presure on the front of my forhead as I start to stare.

Has anybody any ideas on how to stop being so scared of 'everybody' even though I have not reason to be scared or anxies. I'm scared/anxious of people who are 200 meters away as well as people who are 2 meters away and everything inbetween to my left, right and infront.

 

[SoScared]

If I join that facebook group will it be blasted all over my wall?

I posted this on another thead..wish you people on facebook would use continue to use this forum as well.............

thanks for replying...the idea of rejecting is certainly something that I can try.
Just to add a bit more info to this. My problem is staring at people. I have made good progress via CBT and ERP and there is also another thread on this forum called 'can't stop staring at people' that offers some good advice. However it seems as though the people who post have moved onto a facebook page...and I don't do facebook.

That said, even though I have made progress I still experience anxiety whenever I see somebody coming in front on me. There is no reason for this! I use affirmations such as 'I'm just not interested' i.e not to accept the stimulus which can be very effective but certainly not always. In summary, given the progress that I have made if I don't get anxious I don't stare. So, my more specific question is how can I avoid getting anxios when I see people.

 

[Falkor]

I wear sun glasses on the train to avoid eye contact with other people....maybe you should try it and see if it works for you

I even weared sunglasses in the train when it was raining.. well then you got people looking at ya! ::

It's unbearable. It's like OCD. You keep on checking on people's eyes, and if your facial expression is OK. My eyes look just like i'm getting eaten by a lion or something. I really wish I could look like a chill relaxed peaceful life enjoying girl.

I HATE that I'm so scared in my eyes and that it's visible so hey Ohdude I can understand so much...........................

I just need to keep telling myself to keep myself together and not stress out

And need to stay SO CALM AS POSSIBLE, I need to go by train in 20 minutes, well, you know what i'm scared of hey..

sooo scared..;

and i'm going to an open day of a university and going to meet a girl who has sa too.. wish me luck, hopefully my eyes will be NOT scared