Can't stop staring at people

[Helpless]

Good for you, that people don't notice you looking at them. Unfortunately, things didn't go as well for me.

I am very aware of my environment, as well as socially anxious, so I tend to look at people through my peripheral vision. But when I do so, people tend to notice me doing this and they feel uncomfortable, talk to their friends about me, look away, etc. No, I am not being paranoid. I actually got bullied by people for looking at them out of the corner of my eyes! Some people even swear at me. I remember several years ago when I was in class, there's a dude sitting next to me and we're strangers. I did glance at him through my peripheral vision (not directly) so I notice him. But he must have noticed because he made a big deal out of it. He told another person, "She keeps looking at me, F--- her" and started fidgeting in his seat.

So you see, people do notice when I glance at them through the corner of my eyes, and my eyes aren't even that big. Have you ever heard of someone saying "I can smell your fear" or "I can feel your fear" even though you don't show it? It's as if they have intuition. Every human being is born with intuition, but intuition is stronger in some than in others.

As for the webcam trick, I will try it and see how that goes.

I know exactly how you feel. I noticed them placing their hands to cover their vision from me. I have to pretend nothing happens even though I knew they noticed I'm staring at them. At one point, I think some of the people trying to take a picture of me staring at them.

 

[WIP_gurl]

When I take public transportation, I would stare at the floor, listen to music. read or fake read the advertisement above the heads of the passengers. Sometimes I close my eyes or if I feel someone looking at me...just because they want not because they have this problem. I would attempt to look them in the eye until they look away. And daydreaming is great too. Just some things I do to avoid faces while taking public transportation. I hope some of these tricks help you cope a little bit.

 

[surewhynot]

When I take public transportation, I would stare at the floor, listen to music. read or fake read the advertisement above the heads of the passengers. Sometimes I close my eyes or if I feel someone looking at me...just because they want not because they have this problem. I would attempt to look them in the eye until they look away. And daydreaming is great too. Just some things I do to avoid faces while taking public transportation. I hope some of these tricks help you cope a little bit.

Haha this post reminds me so much of myself it's crazy, especially the part about reading the ads. I thought for sure I was the only one doing this

 

[laure15]

When I'm in public, I used to look at the floor a lot to avoid staring at people. But, this gave me a hunched appearance and my back felt so bad from all the hunching over. I don't fake reading ads in public, but I fake texting and checking my cell phone and purse. When I'm around many people and the social phobia kicks in, I either fumble through my purse pretending to look for something or I pretend to do stuff on my cell phone.

 

[WIP_gurl]

Haha this post reminds me so much of myself it's crazy, especially the part about reading the ads. I thought for sure I was the only one doing this

Sometimes the ads are interesting...not:: maybe more informative.

 

[Helpless]

Well, I could not even look downwards at all. Not to mention reading books, looking at my phone or whatever that requires me to look downwards. If I do that, it will resulting in me staring at people in front of me, unless I am alone or there are less people around me, and that is also if they didn't noticed me.

 

[laure15]

Well, I could not even look downwards at all. Not to mention reading books, looking at my phone or whatever that requires me to look downwards. If I do that, it will resulting in me staring at people in front of me, unless I am alone or there are less people around me, and that is also if they didn't noticed me.

To make sure that I don't stare at people, I sometimes look down or read a book. But the weird thing is, once I started doing so, I have huge difficulty lifting my eyes up to look at something else. Many times, I remember reading a book but my eyes felt so exhausted and hurt from looking at the pages too much. I wanted to look up and away from the pages, but a little voice inside me tells me, "Don't do it, people will then think you are staring at them." So, I would force myself to continue reading my book until my eyes hurt. It's the same for me when using a laptop/computer in public.

I tried so hard to please society but guess who gets hurt in the end? Me! I am not sadistic or anything, and I need to start doing things for myself.

 

[WIP_gurl]

To make sure that I don't stare at people, I sometimes look down or read a book. But the weird thing is, once I started doing so, I have huge difficulty lifting my eyes up to look at something else. Many times, I remember reading a book but my eyes felt so exhausted and hurt from looking at the pages too much. I wanted to look up and away from the pages, but a little voice inside me tells me, "Don't do it, people will then think you are staring at them." So, I would force myself to continue reading my book until my eyes hurt. It's the same for me when using a laptop/computer in public.

I tried so hard to please society but guess who gets hurt in the end? Me! I am not sadistic or anything, and I need to start doing things for myself.

If only society would think a little deep then their selfish selves. I select awesome and interesting books all the time and I have great difficulty keeping my eyes on the page in setting involving people.

At least, you have some self control while reading in public .
Something so significant as reading in public as never been a issues until this and I was a avid reading I'm any kind of environment.

 

[Helpless]

Usually people hate when someone stares at them, but in my situation, I found that most of the time they are laughing at me when I do that, any idea? I noticed them from the corner of my eye, and that made me keep on doing that and more anxious.

 

[laure15]

Usually people hate when someone stares at them, but in my situation, I found that most of the time they are laughing at me when I do that, any idea? I noticed them from the corner of my eye, and that made me keep on doing that and more anxious.

You probably don't want to take my advice because I usually try to escape when people notice that I'm staring or gazing at them out of the corner of my eye. I walk away and/or try to find a place to hide. But there are situations where I can't escape (i.e. jury duty), and so that's when I have to "suck it up" and just let people make fun of me.

 

[johnco1992]

This disease has ruined my life...I hate going outside. Oh God what is the cure? I'm taking lexapro right now but I feel no difference.

 

[OCDd]

oh ive had something like this before, and im taking lexapro right now too. i feel no difference either. but dont stop taking it. these kind of meds take 2 to 6 weeks to work so keep taking it and after 6 weeks to your psychiatrist or whoever you are seeing that maybe trying a different drug would be more beneficial. my suggestions in the mean time are maybe try looking a picture of a person, just go on google and type in peoples faces or something and just stare at it and the put yourself in a position where the picture is in your peripheral vision and practice not looking at it. this will get you more comfortable doing this and you will not feel embarrassed cause your by yourself. also you could try having a conversation with a really good friend or a family member and just practice looking at them straight in the eye the whole time, doing that is not embarrassing and it will make you just look like your paying attention not that your staring at them. the only other advice i can offer you is that instead of being worried about not looking/staring at the person next to you, try being worried about not taking your eyes off of your professor/lecture. this will also just look like to other people that you are just paying attention. hope i was able to help you, good luck! <------p.s. dont stare at this lol just kiddin

 

[agile]

A cure for staring!

For the love of god, I thought I was alone! I don't have this problem anymore, and I can tell all of you something very important and true. You might not believe it, but it is all in your head! Your actually not staring, it's called a peripheral vision, meaning that you can see what is happening to your right and left, without your eyeballs moving. The reason you think you stare, is because you notice your peripheral vision, which stops you from focusing, and which makes you look at people directly sometimes. I would look at people occasionally, when I thought I stared at them, meaning I would stare at people when I thought i stared, which I didn't to begin with!

If you don't believe me, record yourself with a webcam, and try to look at a point at the screen, while noticing stuff around you, for example a lamp. When you see the recording you will notice that you don't stare "from the side", meaning it's your peripheral vision. I repeat your not staring!!!!! This is very important to understand, it's all in your head! I saw a therapist a year ago, because I just couldn't take it anymore, it changed my life 180 degrees.
My therapist made one exercise where she would sit next to me, and she would tell me if I stared. I noticed her, and I thought I stared, but she told me I didn't. She told me my eyes didn't wander. It was all in my head. When you get nervous, you begin to notice stuff around you, in your peripheral vision. That doesn't mean you stare, it just makes you more nervous and stops you from focusing!

Simple exercise: Record yourself, and look at a point at the screen, whilst "staring at stuff around you". Trust me, the result will blow your mind!
I actually asked my friends in the end, if they had noticed me staring at them, and they told me again and again, NO! And these are friends I have known since I was a kid. You can even take your computer, and go to the library or canteen/public place, record yourself, and look at the screen, do your stuff. You will notice stuff around you, but your eyes won't wander! Trust me! You might move your eyes, when you look directly at something, but not when it is in your peripheral vision. After a while you will get more calm, and the anxiety will go away. Record yourself again and again, and notice that your eyes look completely normal. After sometime you won't even notice anymore!

I don't see my therapist anymore, I saw her a couple of times, she worked with cognitive therapy, and I didn't take any prescription drugs. Just by talking to her, and doing some small assignments, it worked.

And if you think that your problem is worse than mine, than get this: I had this problem with thinking I stared at people since I was 16, up until a year ago. I'm now 28, meaning I had the problem for 12 years of my life. Stop wasting your time, and trust me. It is all in your head!

I hope you all the best, and please write back on your experiences, after you record yourself. It will blow your mind!

I will check up on this page once in a while.

Yours sincerely

Joey

Hi I have mentioned my symptom in the earlier posts may be page 2-3. It is a strange coincidence because something similar happened to me. I have been facing this problem for the last 15-16 years. I cannot express in words the suffering I had in these years. When ever I am working I can focus 30-40% on my work and the rest was to stop the staring. I am on Fluoxetine and klonopin for the last 15 years.

I recently went to a therapist and when I was just waiting I started playing with my phone. A lady was sitting besides me and I was thinking that I was staring at her through my peripheral vision. I started getting anxious and was feeling bad but then I turned on the video on the phone and did the recording. When I watched the video I was surprised to see that my eyes didn't even stare a little in the 5 mins of video. I tried again and the same thing happened.

None of my friends mentioned me about this problem but then some people did mention that.

Now my question is if I am not really staring why am I getting these thoughts in the head and how to get rid of those thoughts. Staring or not staring I am still equally uncomfortable because of the thoughts.

Can you please tell me how you and your therapist worked to get these thoughts fixed and is your problem completely solved now?

Thanks,

 

[Helpless]

Now if what Joey/afunguy25 said is true, why did some people covered their face from me? I mean it's so obvious from what i've noticed. I had enough of this but have no idea how to solve it. My life is totally messed up.

 

[laure15]

Now if what Joey/afunguy25 said is true, why did some people covered their face from me? I mean it's so obvious from what i've noticed. I had enough of this but have no idea how to solve it. My life is totally messed up.

I agree. If my pupils are not noticeable, then why do some people make such a big deal out of me glancing at them at the corner of my eyes? Maybe they're psychic???

 

[afunguy25]

Now if what Joey/afunguy25 said is true, why did some people covered their face from me? I mean it's so obvious from what i've noticed. I had enough of this but have no idea how to solve it. My life is totally messed up.

Record them bastards. Record them covering up. I don't know.

 

[laure15]

Many weeks ago, I said I will try recording myself and see how my eyes look. So yesterday, I played with my webcam and took pictures of my eyes looking left and right. Guess what? They are noticeable; when I glance at the left, my pupils move to the left, and same thing with the right. It's common sense, of course. I wonder, if I had longer lashes and put more makeup on my eyes, will they help cover up my pupils? Also, there are girls who use hair to cover up their faces, even their eyes, so I wonder if I had bangs, would that help? But, bangs are annoying to style and I have to go back every month for a trim.

 

[johnco1992]

It seems as though when I am very busy, the problem happens much less.

 

[Bugs]

wear glasses , no really it works , just go to the Opticians and get a pair of tinted glasses , that might seem a funny thing to say but it works , dont matter if your eyes are ok , just get a pair anyways ...i did that years ago when my sa was bad and it helped

Yes, I agree. wear glasses. I have this teacher who always wear glasses and told us that, if she wears glasses she always thinks she's the only person, and that she can't see other people in the world and so she gets more confident. It looks funny at first, but when people get used to it... it will be ok.

 

[laure15]

Yes, I agree. wear glasses. I have this teacher who always wear glasses and told us that, if she wears glasses she always thinks she's the only person, and that she can't see other people in the world and so she gets more confident. It looks funny at first, but when people get used tod it... it will be ok.

Yes, I agree, glasses help a lot. Sometimes, I sit facing my dad (he's in front of me) and it's awkward because I feel like I'm noticing/looking at him a lot and he probably notices it. But after I put on a pair of very dark glasses, I don't feel as uncomfortable anymore.

I wish I could wear sunglasses everywhere I go but unfortunately, there are places where those are not appropriate. White glasses don't really do much because people can still see your eyes, but sunglasses/dark glasses help.