Calling all girls

[Dronee]

I'm not even sure if the good book prohibits sex before marriage (just like it doesn't prohibit swearing).

In my society at least, even the non-religious usually keep chaste. There's a risk involved with casual sex. Even with the best protection, you can get diseases and possibly unwanted pregnancies. *Shrugs* For myself at least, I think that sex is the one of the expression of intimacy. If you're going to be that intimate, then not committing beforehand... doesn't make sense. A lot of people can use premarital sex as a way to just fool around.. as happens in the real world very often.

Wow... I just had flashes of mathematics while typing this and a strong sense of dejavu. What has algebra and fields to do with casual sex... Hmmm.... Must be the insomnia. Sick of it.

 

[xSleepy]

I'm honestly confused by the question now. Some of the responses don't seem to match the question.. unless I'm just misunderstanding.

Do I want a husband who's a virgin? It doesn't matter that much to me.. if he's not a virgin then I want it to be because his first time was with me. If he's not a virgin thanks to the help of someone else, I would deal with it.

Do I want a bf who's a virgin? yeah I do. Because I want his first time to be with me.. That's not really a need though, that's just something I would want.

I don't want to get too into my personal business, but I plan on hopefully one day having a husband. And Id want him to have the same amount as expereince as I do.. which isn't much lol. So I want to really be in love with the person I share those first experiences with. And being in love = possibly getting married in the future.

But life doesn't always work out that perfectly though. You could end up giving your virginity to someone you think you could possibly marry, and then things don't work out.
That's why I'm guessing some people save their virginity until marriage, other than for religious reasons.
Some people just need a bigger commitment then just a casual or serious relationship when it comes to sex. And it's not just sex actually, it could be something as simple as living together.
And I honestly can't imagine sex being horrible if you're in love with someone. If your partner isn't that great I'm sure you two can work on it and communicate what you like and don't like.

 

[Newtype]

I'm honestly confused by the question now. Some of the responses don't seem to match the question.. unless I'm just misunderstanding.

Do I want a husband who's a virgin? It doesn't matter that much to me.. if he's not a virgin then I want it to be because his first time was with me. If he's not a virgin thanks to the help of someone else, I would deal with it.

Do I want a bf who's a virgin? yeah I do. Because I want his first time to be with me.. That's not really a need though, that's just something I would want.

I don't want to get too into my personal business, but I plan on hopefully one day having a husband. And Id want him to have the same amount as expereince as I do.. which isn't much lol. So I want to really be in love with the person I share those first experiences with. And being in love = possibly getting married in the future.

But life doesn't always work out that perfectly though. You could end up giving your virginity to someone you think you could possibly marry, and then things don't work out.
That's why I'm guessing some people save their virginity until marriage, other than for religious reasons.
Some people just need a bigger commitment then just a casual or serious relationship when it comes to sex. And it's not just sex actually, it could be something as simple as living together.
And I honestly can't imagine sex being horrible if you're in love with someone. If your partner isn't that great I'm sure you two can work on it and communicate what you like and don't like.

That's exactly how I feel, except I'm a guy so the roles are reversed. I never bought the whole "sex for fun" thing. I don't even wanna have sex, I wanna make love!

 

[Dronee]

That's exactly how I feel, except I'm a guy so the roles are reversed. I never bought the whole "sex for fun" thing. I don't even wanna have sex, I wanna make love!

Hmm... wanted to positive rep this but it seems I already positive repped you sometime recently. Can't remember when though.

 

[lurknomore]

I'm honestly confused by the question now. Some of the responses don't seem to match the question.. unless I'm just misunderstanding.

Do I want a husband who's a virgin? It doesn't matter that much to me.. if he's not a virgin then I want it to be because his first time was with me. If he's not a virgin thanks to the help of someone else, I would deal with it.

Do I want a bf who's a virgin? yeah I do. Because I want his first time to be with me.. That's not really a need though, that's just something I would want.

I don't want to get too into my personal business, but I plan on hopefully one day having a husband. And Id want him to have the same amount as expereince as I do.. which isn't much lol. So I want to really be in love with the person I share those first experiences with. And being in love = possibly getting married in the future.

But life doesn't always work out that perfectly though. You could end up giving your virginity to someone you think you could possibly marry, and then things don't work out.
That's why I'm guessing some people save their virginity until marriage, other than for religious reasons.
Some people just need a bigger commitment then just a casual or serious relationship when it comes to sex. And it's not just sex actually, it could be something as simple as living together.
And I honestly can't imagine sex being horrible if you're in love with someone. If your partner isn't that great I'm sure you two can work on it and communicate what you like and don't like.

That's exactly how I feel, except I'm a guy so the roles are reversed. I never bought the whole "sex for fun" thing. I don't even wanna have sex, I wanna make love!

My feelings exactly. If things are good between you "outside" the bedroom, then things "inside" the bedroom should take care of themselves.

To answer the question, it doesn't really matter to me, as long as I know that the guy is committed to me and won't be the "playing around" type.

 

[Newtype]

Hmm... wanted to positive rep this but it seems I already positive repped you sometime recently. Can't remember when though.

Heh, it's okay. Thanks for that!

 

[coyote]

That's exactly how I feel, except I'm a guy so the roles are reversed. I never bought the whole "sex for fun" thing. I don't even wanna have sex, I wanna make love!

Someone can be in a committed, loving relationship and "make love" with their partner instead of 'just' have sex...and then that relationship ends - for any number of reasons.

I don't think it would be fair to assume that everyone who has had sex before and is not currently in a relationship was just sleeping around "for fun."

 

[Emily_G]

Hey

Just one quick question:

If you got married, would you like your husband to be a virgin or not??

thanks

Yes, but it's not necessary...obviously, my DH wasn't.

 

[Newtype]

Someone can be in a committed, loving relationship and "make love" with their partner instead of 'just' have sex...and then that relationship ends - for any number of reasons.

I don't think it would be fair to assume that everyone who has had sex before and is not currently in a relationship was just sleeping around "for fun."

I don't quite understand your post. I agree with the first paragraph. That's how I feel too. I never said I was waiting for marriage.

And if I agree with your first paragraph, then I agree with your second paragraph as well. You can have a gf and make love with her because you're really in love but in the end things don't work out and you break up. Does that mean you wasted your virginity? Of course not, you had no way of predicting the future. To me, "sex for fun" is casual sex with a random person or someone who you're not even in a relationship with.

What I don't understand is what this has to do with what I wrote?

 

[lurknomore]

I hope this isn't an invasive question...are you a virgin? You realize that sex is fun, right? It's fun even if you "make love". When you're in a relationship with someone and you've been with them for a while, you don't just "make love". If you did only that then things would get stale fast.

Wait, you said that it's fun even when you make love, then imply that when you "just make love" things get stale? Anyway, I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to only have sex with people that you're "in love" with or that you at least care about. I think perhaps he meant to say that he doesn't go for "casual" sexual encounters, not to say that it isn't "fun."

 

[coyote]

What I don't understand is what this has to do with what I wrote?

Hi, Newtype. My post wasn't intended as an argument. I was merely adding my thoughts.

I'm not sure I understand what "wasting my virginity" means.

 

[xSleepy]

I don't want to speak for NewType, but Im sure he wasn't trying to imply that sex isn't fun. Because I feel the same way he does. Having sex without strong feelings for someone is not my thing.

Having sex with someone you have strong feelings for is more satisifying.. and fun. For me at least that's how I feel.

Wanted to add something. You don't have to be married or in a committed relationship to have fun sex. But I personally could never see myself enjoying a casual sexual encounter. I need the emotional part to make it fun and exciting.
It doesn't mean others can't enjoy casual sex, but others aren't into that.


And Coyote- I realize that you are not talking to me. But I have to respond to your statement "I don't think it would be fair to assume that everyone who has had sex before and is not currently in a relationship was just sleeping around 'for fun.'" I don't think anyone here is assuming or trying to imply that. And like NewType, I'm also slightly confused with your post.

 

[coyote]

I hope this isn't an invasive question...are you a virgin? You realize that sex is fun, right? It's fun even if you "make love". When you're in a relationship with someone and you've been with them for a while, you don't just "make love". If you did only that then things would get stale fast.

If it's not fun, you're not doing it right.

 

[Newtype]

I'm not sure I understand what "wasting my virginity" means.

Oh, it's just that some people feel that because they lost their virginity with a person who they don't love anymore that they "wasted" their virginity. They should have waited but they didn't. But that's not true, they had no way of knowing and they were in love at the time anyway.

I hope this isn't an invasive question...are you a virgin? You realize that sex is fun, right? It's fun even if you "make love". When you're in a relationship with someone and you've been with them for a while, you don't just "make love". If you did only that then things would get stale fast.

Sorry for the late reply. Yes I'm a virgin. I do know that sex is fun, haha. I really wasn't implying that "making love" isn't fun. The "sex for fun" thing only means casual sex with a person you're not in a relationship with.

I never said that there's anything wrong with only wanting to have sex with a person you love. What I'm saying is that there are different kinds of sex. You've been married. You know what I'm talking about.

I totally understand what you're saying. I think it's possible to mix both though Having "that" kind of sex while making "making love" at the same time. It's about what you're feeling inside after all.

 

[Elad]

Sorry for the late reply. Yes I'm a virgin. I do know that sex is fun, haha. I really wasn't implying that "making love" isn't fun. The "sex for fun" thing only means casual sex with a person you're not in a relationship with.



I totally understand what you're saying. I think it's possible to mix both though Having "that" kind of sex while making "making love" at the same time. It's about what you're feeling inside after all.

How do you know if you havent tried? Might suprise you.

 

[Newtype]

How do you know if you havent tried? Might suprise you.

I have a large imagination

 

[Pookah]

I'd want him to be more virginal than over experienced. Somewhere on the line from virgin to a few girlfriends is good for me.

 

[Krista]

I'd want him to be more virginal than over experienced. Somewhere on the line from virgin to a few girlfriends is good for me.

Exactly how I feel.

 

[Chlo]

I would want my husband to have some experience for sure or a healthy sex drive at the very least. i am a red blooded woman, i have needs hehe

 

[Alfie]

Hey

Just one quick question:

If you got married, would you like your husband to be a virgin or not??

thanks

If he was he would be staying a virgin