Branch off monogamy thread

panicsurvivor

panicsurvivor

Well-known member
blackpuma said:
For various reasons:

There is ego. You were used to being adored by this person, and it turns out the this person doesn't quite think you're as special as you thought he/she thought you were.

Forceful loss of companionship. Monogamy or not, you will have most likely been with this person for a while. Him/her having cheated on you risks/gives a high chance/guarantees that the company you shared will be lost.

Betrayal of trust. Whether monogamy is natural or not, in most of society the generally accepted social agreement is that a romantic couples consists of two people (unless other agreements are made), and that all sexual/emotional interactions are between the people in said couple. When cheating is involved, that social agreement is broken.

Addiction. Loving, and being loved is addictive. This is due to a natural chemicals that are released in your body whenever you're emotionally or physically intimate with someone. (oxytocin (separated during sex (incidentally also a chemical that helps mother and child bond during labor)) and endorphines (a natural pain killer))

Cut of from ''love'' means you're cut off from these chemicals. Bond together with the above betrayal of social agreement, you'll have what they describe as ''heart break''.
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Bam! There is your answer Vex!!!! :cool::cool::cool:
 
Lea

Lea

Banned
vexatiousmind said:
What is that type of bird that has a life partner?

They mate and then stay together forever, it is soo cute!
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Haha yeah, I was once on a river trip in the Amazon with some people and the man showed me a couple of birds (can´t remember their name) and said they were the most loyal of animals, that even when one of them dies they never find anyone else etc.

Btw I found that fishes are 100 % loyal, birds 90 % and mammals 7 %. Matter of evolution probably :eek:.
 
A

AGR

Well-known member
WeirdyMcGee said:
haha~ oh right!
When it has to do with their owners, sure-- but would they get jealous the way people do with our own kind?
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Animals fight for mates all the time,almost everyday I would hear the neighbors cats fighting because of it.
 
A

AGR

Well-known member
vexatiousmind said:
What is that type of bird that has a life partner?

They mate and then stay together forever, it is soo cute!
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its cute isnt ?
I remember reading on science daily that actually the female of one of those birds,cheated but then went back to her partner,there are some that the male even raises another males egg as his own,I will try to find it.....
 
A

AGR

Well-known member
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TheSanctuarian

TheSanctuarian

Well-known member
vexatiousmind said:
What is that type of bird that has a life partner?

They mate and then stay together forever, it is soo cute!
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Swans.

Humans generally speaking have more advanced brain structure than animals, its what has made us so successful (as has the posable thumb) animals, with few acceptions have many temporary partners for the sheer purpose of breeding, now humans have a very short reproductive cycle, not gestation and birth, but very short sex time (I think the average was 8-15 minutes?) that isn't very long. can you imagine having sex once every six months?

so through evolution and adaption humans have developed the ability to have long relationships due to our advanced brain. unfortunately that raises other issues like monogamy, although it becomes a personal choice, in the western culture, bigamy and polygamy is very much frowned apon.
 
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Agent_Violet

Well-known member
It's the secret of cheating that makes me upset. If I know he wants to sleep with someone else and has no emotional connection to this person then I'd tell him to go right ahead.
What I can't handle is breaking the trust. Cheating is not the same thing as just having sex with someone else. Cheating is when you lie about it and sneak around. Sex with someone else should mean your spouse/significant other knows about what you're doing and is ok with it.

Cheating is also forming an emotional connection to someone other than your spouse/significant other...and that is NOT ok.
 
A86

A86

Well-known member
when 2 people are together and have completely opened up, shared life exepriances and what not, theres a deep trust established as opening up so much can leave one feeling vulnerable (which shows just how deep the trust is).
By keepong secrets and just being plain selfish, I can understand the level of betrayal of that trust the other must feel.
 
Error

Error

Well-known member
The more I read, the more shocked I get. I must be an alien...

Oh well, looking at the sate of things, I think, bi/polygamy should be accepted and marriage with various wives/husbands should be accepted. People change partners like underwear, so what's the big deal? For those people, I can't see why cheating/being cheated should bother them.

Gay marriage is already tolerated in some countries.

Personally, I'm old fashioned and think a partner should be for life. But I guess it's just me. I really am shocked with some comments above. That's why I'll be alone forever...
 
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coyote

coyote

Well-known member
the praying mantis is monogamous

after copulating, the female rips off the male's head and eats it
 
U

userremoved

Guest
phocas said:
OMG, no wonder he's praying! :eek:
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Sex means death for a lot of things. I still cant get over these honey bees, that after mating with the queen, theres like a small puff of dust and they dropped dead. Like something exploded inside them ._.
 
coyote

coyote

Well-known member
PipsMcClawski said:
Sex means death for a lot of things. I still cant get over these honey bees, that after mating with the queen, theres like a small puff of dust and they dropped dead. Like something exploded inside them ._.
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i've had nights like that
 
anuskas

anuskas

Well-known member
vexatiousmind said:
To the people that think monogamy is not natural.

Why do you think people get SO upset when there partner cheats?

and would you be upset if your partner cheated on you?
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I do think monogamy is natural and I tell you I would be much more than just upset if my partner cheated on me, unless I didn´t love him… :mad:
 
Metal_isthe_Answer

Metal_isthe_Answer

Well-known member
Olhos Abertos, everytime I see that picture of Fry I always laugh as a "Ill show ye" plays through my head

Anyway, someone cheating on me sexually or not would be completely unacceptable to me, Ive spent most of life single, if I were with someone it would mean quite a lot to me, so if they cheated I would just think, "Oh well this figures, well **** them" and I would end it then, no matter how bad they felt about it, they still chose to cheat.
 
panicsurvivor

panicsurvivor

Well-known member
Agent_Violet said:
It's the secret of cheating that makes me upset. If I know he wants to sleep with someone else and has no emotional connection to this person then I'd tell him to go right ahead.
What I can't handle is breaking the trust. Cheating is not the same thing as just having sex with someone else. Cheating is when you lie about it and sneak around. Sex with someone else should mean your spouse/significant other knows about what you're doing and is ok with it.

Cheating is also forming an emotional connection to someone other than your spouse/significant other...and that is NOT ok.
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Are you kidding me? If your partner wanted to have sex with someone, and said that it was just sex, you would let them? But if it is secret, it is wrong? Cheating IS having sex with someone else. Period. Whether there is feelings or not, that is cheating. Are you a swinger? If you are this would make more sense to me. Unless you are are into the open relationship thing, I would have to say that you are pretty young and naive to think that it's ok for your partner to have sex with someone else as long as you know about it. Have you ever been in that situation before? It hurts. ::(: Regardless of weather or not there was feeling involved. "It didn't mean anything to me baby, I love you, it was just sex," is the biggest bull**** excuse there is. In fact for a lot of us, if there is feelings it makes it a little better. If your partner falls for someone else, there's a lot more clean pain. It hurts but they can't help there feelings. If your partner cheats on you just for sex, it makes you feel small, unimportant ugly, and pathetic. It feels like the person you loved is intentionaly hurting you and laughing at you while they are doing it. :mad:
 
Error

Error

Well-known member
panicsurvivor said:
Are you kidding me? If your partner wanted to have sex with someone, and said that it was just sex, you would let them? But if it is secret, it is wrong? Cheating IS having sex with someone else. Period. Whether there is feelings or not, that is cheating. Are you a swinger? If you are this would make more sense to me. Unless you are are into the open relationship thing, I would have to say that you are pretty young and naive to think that it's ok for your partner to have sex with someone else as long as you know about it. Have you ever been in that situation before? It hurts. ::(: Regardless of weather or not there was feeling involved. "It didn't mean anything to me baby, I love you, it was just sex," is the biggest bull**** excuse there is. In fact for a lot of us, if there is feelings it makes it a little better. If your partner falls for someone else, there's a lot more clean pain. It hurts but they can't help there feelings. If your partner cheats on you just for sex, it makes you feel small, unimportant ugly, and pathetic. It feels like the person you loved is intentionaly hurting you and laughing at you while they are doing it. :mad:
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Wow, a normal decent guy for once. I agree with you!
 
Kiwong

Kiwong

Well-known member
Male Antechinuses go beserk and fight each other to mate then die of immune defieciency type disease. They only live about a year. Females rear the young, and only live about two to three years.

I'm glad to be human and not be so driven by hormones.
 
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